Things I Have Learned About Being a Man.

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"If you say it, do it"

A measure of a man is not so much what he says, and not so much what he does; but it's the difference between the two that counts. Breaking a promise is a big negative. Boasting and bragging are big negatives. Threats are big negatives. Getting the job done that you agreed to do goes a long way toward keeping a positive reputation.

"People will hate you, no matter what"

It doesn't matter what you say, do, or think; somewhere, someone will not only disagree with you, but they will want to fight with you over it. There is no escaping the fact that not everyone will like you, so you had better learn to like yourself.

"One stupid act will follow you for the rest of your life"

It doesn't matter if it's the time you got a dime stuck up your nose, the time you got caught "playing doctor" with the girl next door, or the time you got drunk and groped your boss's wife. People will remember what you did until you die, and then they'll make jokes about it at your funeral. Don't be stupid.

"Nobody likes a whiner"

So you got fired, your wife left you, your house burned down, you wrecked your truck, and your dog died. Have your moment of screaming rage, and then go get some sleep. The next morning, shut up, get on the bus, look for a job, rent a room, and buy a puppy for your wife. This is what's expected of you: adapt to life's changes or go find a hole to crawl into and die. Just don't whine about it.

"There is no magic formula when it comes to women"

Every woman is born with the same set of parts as any other woman. However, not every woman grows up the same as every other woman - no two women are the same. What attracts one woman, another woman will laugh at, and still another woman will be driven away by. You can't even expect the same woman to be attracted to the same thing as last week, so just get used to the idea that you will never know what women really want.

"No one cares how much it hurts"

No one feels your pain - plain and simple. No one wants to feel your pain. For that matter, no one wants to know how often you pee, where it itches, or the consistency of your bowel movements. You are a man now, so if you want to discuss your bodily functions, then talk about them with your doctor. Either that, or make up a few jokes about them and tell them to the other men down at the local bar. They may even buy you a drink for making them feel better about their body problems.

"Chest pains are Nature's way of telling you that something is wrong"

Chest pains, blood in your stools and/or urine, shortness of breath, tunnel vision, or persistent numbness are not normal. If you have any of these symptoms, don't try to "tough it out", go to the emergency room immediately.

"Always wear clean underwear"

You never know when someone important will have the opportunity to see you in your underwear. If she's your wife, expect her to have a headache that lasts for the next 17 weeks. Besides, clean clothes in general just feel better.

"Anything worth doing is worth doing well"

If you have something to do, give it your best effort. In a fight? Knock him down so hard that he thinks twice about getting back up. Making love? Make sure that she's satisfied before you are. Building a house? Measure twice, cut once. Just do whatever you are doing the best that you can.

"Anything worth doing well is worth being paid well to do"

Your time is money. Your overtime is more money. Make sure that you agree upon payment before you start the job. Stopping halfway through to negotiate a higher rate won't get you hired again. Getting paid minimum wage for maximum effort is a waste of your time. Learn what you are worth, and never compromise.

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This should do for now. I'd like to see what other men have learned about being a man, unless it's about your own sad luck with women. We've all been over that road, and it's no use going back over it again.

Heh.

If you talk in a friendly way to another male who you dont know,

you have to make it clear that you are not gay before they can relax

A lot of these are my exact problems. No wonder why I struggle with the idea of not being enough of a man. Because I'm not. f**k.

Well it's confirmed... I suck at life.

everyone is biased.
personally, i love s**t shows.

I would substitute nobody with most men. I have known a number of men that get off on other peoples dramas and do feel bad if friends are hurting. I would say a lot of the list applies to women also.

I agree with most of what Fnord says.

I believe people should, however, be given the opportunity to change, and to not have youthful transgressions affect them in adult life.

Many people do genuinely change their attitude between youth and adulthood. Whether by hook or by crook.

Some great points on there, Fnord. Some of my own lessons (poorly written but hopefully gets across the point):

Your body is your temple: Don't let yourself go, stay in reasonable shape (don't have to be an athlete, but at least be able to most physical activities you want to). Eat a balanced diet.

Avoid Addictions: Everything in moderation, never do something because you're craving it or need it. Whether its smoking, gambling, or craving a sugary treat, addiction is never good (including body building).

Fix your own problems: Car not working, wonky shelf, depression, argument with someone, got into debt, etc. As a man, you shouldn't have gotten in the problem in the first place. A real man fixes it, and admits to his mistakes. A man should be able to change a tyre, build flat pack furniture, and pay off his debts.

Pride and guilt: Maintain a clear conscience. Don't do things if they feel wrong. A man has his pride, a code of honour he lives by. If you've done something bad and are carrying guilt, remedy it or it'll haunt you. If you upset someone, apologize and make up for it. If you stole something, give it back, or give something back of equal value. Make up for it so you can move on with a clear conscience.

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I strive to be a true man, and follow the blog "The Art of Manliness", I recommend it for those interested.

I think a lot of it comes down to taking responsibility for your experience of life.

Nothing about a man's ego or penis size?

Penis size has little to do with how much of a "man" a man is.

Okay I take exception to this “Man Up” BS Fnord. I think what you wrote is all good advice but has little to do with being a “Man”. This all has a lot more to do with being a responsible reasonable adult. All very good advice for any human but very little to do with being a male of the species as this is all good advice for any woman as well.

I am an adult male and if, for whatever reason, I act childish sometimes, that doesn’t make me any lesser of a man. Further, like many others, I suffer from anxiety and depression which makes it very difficult to follow much of this advice at times. Telling me to set aside fear, anxiety and sadness is sort of like someone telling you to be less autistic when you’re out in public. I bet that would piss you off a little just like your claim that these are traits of a real man piss me off a little.

I also vehemently disagree that men should not discuss their problems. There is a process we each follow when dealing with unfortunate events and talking through your problems with others helps speed that process along and prevents unfortunate instances of suicide and murder that can occur when people feel they have no escape or nothing to lose. Too many people keep their thoughts and feelings hidden away inside until bad things happen. We should all share more with each other. But I’ll agree, not in a whiney way.

As an adult, I’m learning that even though the world is a very cold, unfair and miserable place much of the time, not everyone is an idiot, trying to piss me off or out to get me. As such, I don’t need to be a cold hearted ass all the time. I can be nice for a while and reserve this behaviour for after my evaluation of the person, situation, et cetera.

I think you need some more love in your life. Have an internet hug. I don’t need to touch you so I’m okay sharing this with you. Cheers!