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Jamesy
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17 May 2016, 4:48 pm

Back in August I was talking to this guy I vaguely knew outside this bar. He was very tall in stature like a good 6ft3. I can't remember the conversion exactly but I remarked to him how tall he was (a few months prior to this I brought up the topic of his height in a nightclub) I also asked him his height and he claimed "6ft5" although I could tell he wasn't that tall by looking at him. After that he asked me "did you eat your vegetables as a child" I then said "no" he then replied "that's why your so short". The conversation then ended.

Do you think I was asking for that insulting remark by him?

I myself am only 5ft7 :oops:



BTDT
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17 May 2016, 5:06 pm

Yes. Based on the questions you have asked in the past, it could well have been deserved.



Jamesy
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17 May 2016, 6:10 pm

BTDT wrote:
Yes. Based on the questions you have asked in the past, it could well have been deserved.



Elaborate why?



League_Girl
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17 May 2016, 6:16 pm

I don't see what you did wrong. Is asking about height against the social rules? :?


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Cheyenne.m
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17 May 2016, 6:39 pm

You did nothing wrong some people are just jerks


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slenkar
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17 May 2016, 6:57 pm

Maybe he was just being logical, he might have just been told to eat his veggies when he was a child so he can grow up big and tall,

Was he actually laughing when he said it or did he just say it in a logical!detached tone?

I was also bullied and also expected to get negative behavior from others so it's understandable to assume the worst all the time.



Last edited by slenkar on 17 May 2016, 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

the_phoenix
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17 May 2016, 6:58 pm

If you publicly comment on someone's personal appearance,
then it's only fair to expect that person will comment on your appearance.
Especially if you make the same comment twice.



Jamesy
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17 May 2016, 7:03 pm

slenkar wrote:
Maybe he was just being logical, he might have just been told to eat his veggies when he was a child so he can grow up big and tall,

Was he actually laughing when he said it or did he just say it in a logical!detached tone?

I was also bullied and also expected to get negative behavior from others so it's understandable to assume the worst all the time.



No he wasn't laughing



BTDT
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17 May 2016, 7:07 pm

It could well be that while you would like to be a taller--it is quite likely that he would actually like to be of "normal" height--and that he really doesn't want to talk about that at a bar. It could be that you missed all his body language hints, so he figured he needed to make you uncomfortable. I'd guess that he was trying to get rid of you in a "polite" manner, though it may not seem that way to you. It would have been more polite it you understood social clues better, but that may not have been possible. There is also the concept of social rules that change depending on where you are located.



izzeme
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18 May 2016, 4:53 am

that remark is a well know joke-like comment.
Asking about someones height isn't a bad thing per say, but a tall person gets such comments several times every day (i'm 6'6, i know what i'm talking about) so i guess you were just one too many that day.

Also, flat-out stating that you "knew" he was adding a few inches wasn't a smart move; i recommend just not commenting on height unless it's relevant (like "slow down, my short legs can't walk that fast").
how'd you feel if everyone you met actively noticed how short you were, by saying it or simply be staring at you, don't you think that you will be fed up near the end of the day?



goatfish57
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18 May 2016, 5:17 am

That sort of thing happens to me frequently. I try to say something amusing and it comes out all wrong. The other person gets pissed and says something that I take as unkind.

You need to shrug your shoulders, smile and say sorry. These things happen all the time when you try. Now you know, no more tall jokes with your buddy.


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Last edited by goatfish57 on 18 May 2016, 7:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

BTDT
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18 May 2016, 7:10 am

He probably assumes you are "normal." I know you have an OCD thing about needing to be taller because I'm an Aspie and read it on this forum--but how would he know? And, even if you told him before, many people really don't understand stuff like autism and OCD unless they actually know a close relative with that issue.



Quill
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18 May 2016, 9:15 am

It's usually not a good idea to comment on someone's physical appearance like that. It doesn't matter if you were just stating a fact, or even if you meant it as a compliment and wish you were taller yourself. My best friend is very tall, and she hates it when people talk about her height. She's usually nice about it, but it makes her uncomfortable. So height might have been a touchy subject for your acquaintance, and it sounds like he took your comment as an insult and made a comment about you in return to show you how it feels when people talk about your height.

Height is one of those things about a person that isn't a choice and can't really be changed, so it's not something that should be commented on in most situations. Now if he'd had on a shirt you liked, or had bright green hair or something like that, that's the kind of thing that is usually okay to comment on. Height, weight, eye color, skin color, natural hair color, a medical condition or disability, etc. is usually not.



Last edited by Quill on 18 May 2016, 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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18 May 2016, 9:36 am

So what? You're 5 foot 7; he's 6 foot 3. Them's the breaks.

It doesn't mean anything as to whether you're a "man" or not.

The guy probably meant to give you a little shot. It's like that in bars.

That's why I don't go to bars!



RedPill56
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18 May 2016, 10:32 am

I'm 6'1', and I know it can get annoying when people keep commenting on you're height. When people keep calling you tall it makes you feel like a freak, so he may be very insecure about his height.



kraftiekortie
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18 May 2016, 1:52 pm

Egad! I wish I was 6 foot 1. I'm a little below 5 foot 5. I would kill to be 6 foot 1!