Extreme Social Anxiety

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Hi everyone, super new user here. I just wanted to share something that has bothered me for a long while now.

Since the beginning of the school year (9th grade), I've been suffering from a ton of anxiety and the depression that comes with it. Being around a lot of people in a single area causes me to shut down and find a secluded area to sit, especially when they're talking to each other. This gives people the impression that I need to be alone, but that is the opposite of what I want. I have a friendly and sociable personality, so being by myself isn't much better than standing in the middle of a crowded hallway. Even when someone does come up and try to help me, they often frame it in the context of "We're not threatening, just come up and talk to us", which often makes me feel worse due to my inability to do so.

While I'm alone in these situations I'm often very afraid and chastise myself for not doing something that would be actually beneficial (e.g., they must think I'm a freak for running off like this, I can't even go up and speak to them).

Honestly, I have no idea what I should do here. I know that I'm exaggerating how they feel about me and that, by all accounts, I should be able to socialize with them normally. What I guess I want to happen is that people approach me and non-judgmentally give me the help, guidance and support I need, but I know that it isn't realistic or their responsibility.

Since my school is ending on Friday I know that this issue is not too relevant right now, but I really just need some closure. I would also appreciate it if I got a place to start so it doesn't end up like this next year.

Hi! I can really relate with your problem as I strongly dislike crowds in an inclosed area like in a cafeteria. I also am so awkward around people I have not been acquainted with before which was such a problem that I have moved schools twice within two months of starting them. I get the whole "She is by herself and doesn't talk so she is weird and should be avoided at all costs" mindset of NT classmates but hang in there and I know it is probably hard but try and seek out likeminded individuals as there always are some! If you think that we are 1% of the population then in a school of 1,000 students, about 10 of them have ASD so you are far from alone! Also if you are around a lot of people and are feeling like your anxiety is building then I suggest doing something that makes you relaxed (e.g. I always draw or read when anxious to distract myself) or try and remove yourself from the situation if you can.
Just a side note: (sorry if I sound terribly cliché) If they don't see you for the person you are then they are not worth it and you shouldn't worry about them!
Sorry for the lengthy reply but I hope I helped in some way

I was the same way in high school and am still the same way now that i am in college. I can be so awkward and quiet around people that i have actually been asked if i know how to speak before. My advice is to just become friends with a small group of good friends. I only had three friends when i was in high school and in the end that was all i really needed in the end. I also agree with Rare like a Panda to seek out like minded individuals. I became friends with my buddies because we all had a similar interest in video games and anime and they are still good friends to this very day.