why cant NT accept us for who we are

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do you feel like you are not accepted
do u feel like nobody cares about you in social situations

do u feel like u never have anything to say

how often do u feel sad

kind of, i do feel very disconnected from people some times, generally to answer why NT can't accept is because we are different, we don't respond to things like they do, they are expecting us to react one way, then we don't and that seems to bother them that we can't "fit in". the other reason for some people is because they pick up that we might be a vulnerable target, so they take advantage of that and then bully us. people have such rapidly different ways of reacting. haha girls find aspergerness "cute" and want to mother you, which is really annoying and a weird reaction (im not interested in dating anyways)

+10

I asked the same question, some time ago in an Asperger's latin forum, and yes, one of the responses was exactly what "randomeu" said.

It's annoying, i suggest to practise mindfullness, it's difficult to achieve internal peace, but most people says that you can connect your body and accept yourself like you are. If you know spanish i can give you some audios for that and a facebook page made by a professional. See ya and good luck!

I agree. People should treat people with autism like PEOPLE. NT's shouldn't be condescending to us. We have certain strengths. NT's have certain strengths.

I think the problem is that there's a tendency, probably part biological and part cultural, for most of us (NTs) to consider "real, trustworthy, acceptable people" by default to be either those who are (a) similar to us in culture, subculture, opinions, perception, and so on or (b) socially dominant over us but not too overtly rude or oppressive towards us. Everyone else is, by default, considered either "wrong and untrustworthy" or "not a real person like us," unless personal experience or upbringing somehow overrides that tendency. These categories, like practically the entire way we NTs experience the world in general, are highly dependent on social context: consider the Stanford Prison Experiment, where one group of young white neurotypical men was given temporary, arbitrary social dominance over another group of demographically identical men, and the result was to treat the temporarily non-dominant group like they were lesser beings, bullying and even torturing them.

My more direct experience with the autistic/NT divide in particular suggests that most fellow NTs can't really imagine that there's a big difference in perception, sensory experience, and neurological wiring between an Aspie and a currently or formerly socially awkward NT like myself, and so attribute the greater struggles of people on the spectrum to their being something "wrong" with their personality or attitude or upbringing that they should have grown out of by now because, well, I did, and I used to act kind of like them. And if the difference is more obvious, like with, say, a Kanner-type autistic, that's where the assumption that they're "not a real person like us" is probably more likely to come in.

I think more cultural evolution in the direction of everyone being taught to take a more logical approach to social issues, and considering the ways different neurological wirings and upbringings can cause different modes of thought and perception that aren't necessarily wrong, is needed to solve this problem.

NTs don't owe you any concessions. So work with what you're given.

I think we should meet NT's halfway; and NT's should meet us halfway.

But if they want to use us for something, be our friend, they have to make some moves, too.

It's not just the Aspie that must accommodate the NT.

I wouldn't call myself an "autism activist"--but I do believe society should learn to respect our gifts, as well as recoil in our weirdness.

Yep...I always did best when I let my work do the talking.

It's a lot easier to imagine what it would be like to lose a leg or an arm than to understand and accept what it's like to have a processing problem.

Why can't NTs accept us for who we are?

It revolves around understanding and acceptance I think - and neither of these are very well established in the NT world in relation to autism yet.

There are different NT groups re understanding:

- those that don't understand and don't know that they don't understand ("Of course I know what autism is")
- those that know they don't understand and try to understand ("I'm trying to understand")
- those that don't understand and don't want to understand ("why should I, it doesn't affect me")
- those who are genuinely confused and want to understand ("whose voice can tell me the real truth?"
- those who do understand and are seen as understanding (for example Tony Attwood)
- those who think they understand but who speak about us without us in terms of stigma (for example Autism Speaks)
- those who think they understand because they see it from their perspective of commercial self-interest (eg ABA therapists)

I think it's fair to say that most of the above groups have not yet learned to listen, and some of them won't and don't listen because they believe that autistic people can't have anything meaningful to say. They may have been exposed to terrible video propaganda like "I Am Autism" for example, and had no context to evaluate its distortions. (Sadly a lot of people do seem to accept what they see, hear and read acritically a lot of the time).

From the autistic side of things, the energy wasted in internecine wars about "who are the real autistics etc" derail many an autistic attempt to increase awareness in the NT population. Also, it is harder to get a "public voice" if you are a member of a disabled minority, to be heard (even if you can persuade the media to feature an article) without being swamped by the responses like "Well I knew an autistic person and he wasn't like that so you don't know what you are talking about".

There is such a long road ahead before acceptance can be achieved, though I think it will probably happen some day (though not in my lifetime).

It's metaphorically speaking to enable understanding the situation .
You sound angry.
(In response to rootbeer's post)