Task: Give me some hope. Difficulty level: Extreme

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Pinguino
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Joined: 28 Jul 2015
Age: 29
Posts: 14

19 Jul 2016, 5:34 am

My biggest dream is that I could tell I'm an aspie to all acquaintances I have, and that would make them understand me and see me in a more positive light. However, my biggest fear is that I do tell them, but that they then see me as a weirdo they don't want to be around or trust at all, and I end up even lonelier and even more bullied than I am... :cry:

All I really want is that people would appreciate me for any personal quality I have. I'm smart when it comes to knowledge, but not at most other areas of daily life, and least at all social interaction. If I admit having Asperger's, I admit to have what society views as a weakness and deficit. I feel shame because I just want to be like anyone else and live the same life as them.

To me, Aspergers' must be one of the most horrible diseases and disorders to live with. Social skills is one of the most crucial skills you need for a successful life. If you have cancer, or if you have lost an arm and leg, you still have that ability to interact well socially. If you have a mental disorder, like social anxiety, personality disorder, even schizophrenia, you can improve your condition through therapy or medication.

For Asperger's, there is no cure. We're stuck with having to be outsiders looking in, desperately banging on the window, for the rest of our lives :cry:

If you wondered, yes, I'm very depressed. I truly hate my life, and I'm extremely worried about that it might turn even worse in the future if I don't get some magical infusion of social skills. It's a wonder why I haven't become suicidal yet, I probably don't have the courage to jump.

I would be very happy for some encouraging words. The shortest of sentences containing any hope you could give me matters a ton. Thanks in advance :cry: :heart:



kraftiekortie
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Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

19 Jul 2016, 5:43 am

I believe most people, once they grow up, care less and less about the superficial aspects of people, and begin to embrace people who have lots of knowledge.

Knowledge turns me on in a woman. I once got aroused when a woman talked economic theory.

High school is a minefield for those with disabilities. Kids there are very insecure, and are looking to make themselves superior to others, despite their inferiority complex.

The way to offset doubters everywhere is to do well in school, not listen to people who think you're inferior and can't make it, and prove these people wrong.

Having Asperger's is not a death sentence. It's a nuisance, almost like a gnat sometimes. The key is to get rid of those gnats, and embrace who you are.



Pinguino
Butterfly
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Joined: 28 Jul 2015
Age: 29
Posts: 14

19 Jul 2016, 1:01 pm

Thank you. I have always been doing well in school. However, good academic results only matter on the labour market. In the social life, people don't care whether you're a high school dropout or attending Harvard.



kraftiekortie
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19 Jul 2016, 1:48 pm

Oh yes they do!

They do care!

There's a strong element of snobbery in this world. This is especially so in the Third World, though it exists in the First World as well. Many college graduates frown upon hanging out with high school dropouts--but there are many exceptions.

People tend to get together when their life experience and their general philosophy of life mesh. This occurs, most often, with people with a similar educational background.



Iamaparakeet
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19 Jul 2016, 4:26 pm

The good news is that you excell in written communication, and whether here or online elsewhere you thereby have introvert style socialization - and don't let extroverts pretend their version of socialization is superior. In written communication, you can actually think and communicate in a way that demonstrates your intelligence, whereas in person everyone falls back on psittacisms in a hollow display of baloney.


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mookestink
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 2 Apr 2015
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Location: Canada

19 Jul 2016, 4:55 pm

I read a book recently about living with low-functioning autism. It would be a good gift for someone who wants to understand you better. http://www.carlysvoice.com