How do you cope with loneliness?

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Let's face it, everyone is lonely now and again. But people with AS are likely to be more lonely than others.

There are however ways of coping, or getting through it all. I have to say I haven't always coped well.

How do you all "cope?" What strategies do you use, whether good or bad ?

I am still working on it. Distracting myself with certain tasks, activities, or hobbies can help me sometimes. It can sometimes help with my depression as well.

Agreed. If I can't get in contact with a friend, I just find something to distract myself and occupy my time.

I am coping with loneliness myself right now after losing a whole group of friends.

not that well, it feels cripplingly awful. I guess I sort of just get sucked into video games and not think about it. ah Sonic and kirby games, you will never fail to make me feel better

^ Not the best way to cope honestly. I did the computer to relieve loneliness in the past (porn as well) and it really wasn't a good way to do it. I just felt the same after it.

I find doing constructive things helps alleviate it more permanently. For example, reading a book (and finishing it), picking up a hobby or two or going for a bike ride/run. I myself prefer watching tv to video games, as there is more of a beginning/middle and end point.

I try to distract myself and I have several imaginary friends that I like to spend time with.

Anyway...There is lots you can do

Do's
1. Listen to "Asperger Experts" and go to "Improve your social skills.com." Both wonderful sources and things to keep you busy
2. Do guided meditations
3. Join meet.up.com and look for special interest groups to join just enjoy the interests
4. Volunteer to help in the community and build up some job skills and meet networks
5. Do yoga
6. Build up some hobbies
7. Learn how to grocery shop and how to engage with people in stores
8. Go to a coffee shop and bring your lap top

^ Imaginary friends can be fun, but I find that they are no substitute for the real thing. To each their own though

I involve myself with my hobby related task.

I engage with a lot of people on the internet, things like messaging people on Skype and spending time on forums. For me that makes up the majority of my social interaction on most days. When I do talk to someone off the internet I usually just ramble on about an interest because my conversation skills still need a lot of work.

I hope this doesn't seem cynical or negative. I cope with loneliness by dealing with more of it, so as to increase my tolerance to the stimulus. When you look at it like that, as a pure logic, it becomes just like any other thing. You get used to riding a bike by falling off that sucker every day.
This loneliness we feel is actually just the alienation that we receive from NT groups. So, go and seek more of that. Go insert yourself into NT groups and watch them exchange awkward glances. Do you think this will destroy your life? No, because it would have already, if it was going to. Same with me.

Keep in mind, I am a bodybuilder, so I probably carry more intimidation than you might carry. People are much more hesitant to do mean things to me, so bear that in mind if you take my advice. And know that my advice should be a last option.

Tough topic!

I ended an intimate relationship about a year ago and moved across the country, so I was starting over from scratch (she even kept the dog).

Making friends is a long process and it takes work from both me and the person with which I want to be friends.

One of the most important things that I have found is that most people need to get to know me on an "acquaintance" level before I become a closer friend with them. They need a chance to get over the "man, he is weird phase".

The people who are willing to become close friends with me fall into two categories: we share a strong interest in a subject and we are both fairly weird, OR we share some interest (which gives us common topics to talk about), and the person is confident in themselves and less swayed by the opinions of others.

The honest truth about this topic is that I am the person who is more likely to not want to be friends with others, not the other way around.

Friends take a lot of work for me and I don't have the energy for lots of them, so I am pretty selective.

yeah, even i admit i need more then one hobby (well video games are more like an obsession). but i think the main problem is the complete lack of friends, its not that can't contact them, its that i don't have them. its possibly due to this whole thing, but also that i can't talk that well, so its generally an issue to make friends anyway.


another way to deal with lonelyness (as to not get off topic): playing MMO's, you can talk to people there. well, only in the friendly communities, otherwise they are awful but with nice people, talk all the time.

^ I know the feeling. I think a good strategy is to find clubs or things you are interested in. If your into gaming or card games Im sure there are groups of kids who like that stufff.

One thing that has helped me talk better and relate better to other people is reading fiction, even hard fiction. Reading such fiction (including the classics) helps one get "inside the head" of other people, and idk jsut by witnessing other people think and interact in various situations, it helps with general social cognition and even... eloquence in speaking.

It is tough, but getting through a book helps make one smarter. If your in school reading fiction (especially the hard kind) will make writing papers all the easier .

And face it, the majority of people are not friends with the majority of people. Friendship is based off of different personalities that just "click." Whether its loving to discuss a favorite shared subject (sports, video games whatever) or just enjoying another person, friendships click for a reason.

Also, if I were you Id try to get plenty of sunlight and phsyical activity. I find doing so helps reduce my symtpoms quite a bit. That and fruits and veggies!

eh im more of a vampire (also known as i am ABSURDLY self conscious). its generaly a problem that i can't understand this alien beings with their foreign culture very well (also called NT's)so far ive used the humor trick i was taught years ago, puns or witty observations (or at least i hope them to be witty) at a constant rate usually. nobodies picked up on the whole "its a cover up for not knowing what the hell im doing" thing. but i feel like this hurts me. there was a guy in my class during my course (that i just completed) that i really liked, we got along all year, but then in the last few weeks he suddenly didn't like me at all, he made it very clear (sighing and not even looking at me) that he no longer liked me or wanted to talk to me. its been weeks and i still don't understand or know what i did.

i don't know what it is, i just seem to find books very hard to get through, i think its because my reading speed can't keep up with my mind so it just gets confused and bored at how slow this is and so i put the book down and go for a video game that will essentially read its story to me. i get what you mean though, they do teach some social constructs, I take a lot of my social skills from World of Warcraft, the way the NPC's (basically characters that arn't players) interact and talk. but then i also take some from classics like great expectations (audio books are great) or harry potter. its just kind of...impossible to put these into an actual situation properly.


i hope whoevers reading this can learn from this conversation too and not just me.