Getting started in dating at 54

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I found out I am an Aspie almost three months ago.

I have never had a date with a woman.

I have a job, live alone in a nice house and am considered a 'high functioning' Aspie.

How would anyone suggest I get started in meeting women?

I welcome any advice from men and women, especially those who have had some success in this area.

It is never too late to start, I guess. I am 52, and I have started to look for a good wife for me.

I'm just a little curious why you may have possibly only started to seek love and dating at age 54.

I don't mean to sound harsh or rude, and I apologize before-hand if I do, but it makes me wonder what other things you have been doing with your life to not have the time to give dating a try. This is assuming however that you've been interested in the idea of relationships or intercourse since at least age 13. For all I know you only just started wanting the idea of a relationship and dating very recently, which is perfectly fine.

I'm not judging, though. You do with your time and life whatever you want to, and have every right to do so. I also don't know your story, so I've no right to judge. But I do believe you'll have to make-up for lost time.

I don't like reverting to the usual, generic advice, but we'll start with the basics:

- Does your job allow co-worker relations? If so, if you have any decent co-workers around your age that you're on good terms with, you could possibly ask one of them out for coffee. However, it's more than likely your 40-60 year old co-workers would be married, so you should find out first if this is the case or not. Don't underestimate the amount of divorced or unmarried women in the 40-60 age range. This website alone has evidence of quite a few men and women over 40 who have never had a relationship.

- What are your hobbies and interests? You can find clubs and groups in your area specifically for what you like to do.

If there's not much, perhaps try more general social groups, such as '40s, 50s Singles' or '40s, 50s social group'. These kinds of social groups don't focus on any particular hobby or interest but just general activities together such as eating out and visiting different venues.

- Do you have many good friends who could possibly introduce you to a woman you could get to know better?

- How well do you take care of your appearance and hygiene? It is good to improve your appearance and hygiene in the best ways you can, not just for women but for yourself. Nothing too fancy. Just dress as nice as you can, shower 1-2 times a day, brush teeth, use deodorant, etc.
The basics, which you're more than likely already aware of and already do all of these things anyway.

Mail order bride eh? Sounds like a good idea but they're so expensive. I remember when I tried to import that Philippine girl I suffered from a lack of funds. Also, while her stepfather tried to warn me about their cultural differences, I didn't listen to him and I ended up offending her.

Church is an excellent place to meet girls but it can be a confusing place for the less religiously inclined. With diligent study it may be possible to pass convincingly for a Christian but would it be worth it?

Yeah. It might be more likely for aspies too.

I remember reading about one guy here who was Asexual until about 45 or so and out of nowhere he started to feel sexual attraction.

Maybe the same thing could happen at age 54, but for a sudden need for emotional connection/romance rather than sex or both.

That's why I worded it very carefully because I'm not trying to be an a55, just honest.