What Is A Therapy Session For Social Fear Like

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I have to wait 3 months for my 3.5 old to get evaluated. His main issue is socially shutting down with kids, especially group situations or public situations (parks etc). And fear of bumping into kids etc.

Do they get actual social practice with other kids in the session? I am struggling to imagine what could help, and what the actual process is when they get the therapy done to help this. What do they do?

Thank you so much for any input!

Usually in a social group, they will have a small group of kids lead by a therapist. They will usually play games, or play with toys, and the therapist will help the kids work through their own individual issues in this setting. My kid does not shut down, but has trouble with turn taking, not winning, turn taking in conversations, staying on topic, negotiating, etc. Other kids in his group may have issues like not speaking loudly enough for others to hear, or shutting down and letting more vocal kids call all the shots, etc. Basically, they are helping the kids socialize more successfully in a social setting. The social practice they get is by playing with the other kids in the group.

There are different types of groups, though. My son did one group where they were taught particular skills around issues that they struggled with. Like, how to join a group of kids you don't know at the playground, what to do if you are being teased, how to have a successful play date in your home, etc. The one he does in school is lead by a speech therapist. She will help them understand and navigate issues as they come up.

When you look for a group, you can ask them what kinds of issues they work on most, and whether they think their group would help with social fear.

I wonder, though, if your child's shutting down may also be sensory related. He may feel overwhelmed with all of the loud voices, big personalities, and a lot of unpredictable movement surrounding him, and feel that he needs to protect his senses by shutting down. In this case, occupational therapy can also help him to feel more comfortable out in public places, or help him with coping strategies.

How is he with just one or two other kids in a home setting?

off topic; is this normal for 3,5 yo to master??
omg & shakes head
aren't we conflating kiddieworkerswishes with letting children being children ?

nice groups of chatting and socializing kids, ahaha if pictured surreallistic it would be humor!!

I totally understand the fear of bumping into others. People get genuinely upset when you bump into them, especially if it becomes a regular thing. They start to think my clumsiness is intentional. The drama builds and builds, and there is nothing I can do to stop it, other than keep trying to be more graceful, and not bump into people. The over-all result of this, by age thirty-five? I've learned how to dance...

(I'm the autistic child grown-up, not the parent.)

I think it is developmentally appropriate for NT kids, just not for a lot of the kids on the spectrum. You notice it more now with all the Mommy and me stuff and you can see when your kid is behind, if they are behind enough.

NT shyness looks different from autistic indifference or autistic difficulties. I don't know how to describe it, but shy NT kids, I think, have fears and anxieties that are different. There is some overlap, and often time they are also overwhelmed in similar ways but it still seems different to me.

I was never shy--just once I hit a certain age, clearly out of my depths. My son was indifferent and then unable to get social cues, and unwilling to compromise preferences, or compromise who is is to satisfy other people. I was like that, also to some degree, but less than he is.

My mom describes herself shy, and to me, whatever it is seems not autistic. My dad was more like me. but more extreme, and not nearly as severe as my son is.

With an NT kid, you can tell them to ignore their fears.
With me, it was a much different ballgame. Telling me to "just ignore it," would actually send me into a panic attack, because they wouldn't show me how to do it - and couldn't show me, it turns out.

Honestly yes I think it is a sensory related overwhelm. He does not like the unpredictability, he's mildly sensitive to sounds (improved greatly the past year) and fears the possibility for the unknown (he's very aware, and I think he feels the kids can do whatever and it's unsettling).

I was very shy as a kid, I remember feeling I couldn't really 'let go' and have fun when there were kids (I didn't know) around me, or lots of kids. I felt I needed to stay alert (who knows why). With friends I was fine. I had trouble enjoying and participating in groups, classes and parks up to maybe 1st grade?

I am seeking possible therapy for him because now at almost 4 he seems to shut down socially a lot. He has to hold our hands up to the slides if even one person is at the park. I am not so sure that's a nt shy kind of thing. Maybe. It'd be nice to think so. But he does do ok sometimes with 1 or 2 kids at home. He still has trouble with his cousins (triplets) though.

Do most OT's offer individual and group settings? ie, would he get a variety of therapies through one OT? I'm so new to this I have no idea what to expect.

Last edited by treestar on 02 Aug 2016, 9:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Occupational Therapy is different from social skills therapy.

Occupational therapy can help with certain functional skills ranging from issues with swallowing to some motor skill work--like handwriting. We did not have a fear issue, so maybe it is possible that that could be looked at as a functional issue, but I have never heard of that being included in OT. For my son, OT was done individually, not as part of a group.

We never did social skill training, but we did do speech, due to pragmatic issues and it also includes some social skill assistance because it relates to communication. Speech was not just literal speech but also included help with other forms of communication and interaction. Speech was done as a group, and they were dealing with kids with a range of issues and most of it was dealt with in terms of games that involved interaction.

Social skill training varies also because some programs seem to be designed to engender pro-social behavior versus actually teaching social skills. In our district they warned me off of it for that reason because that was where they dumped the kids with serious discipline problems, and my son would more likely pick up additional behavioral isuses than what we already had.

If it is something you end up doing, you will need to make sure that the program is designed to help your son with what he needs help with.

It is kind of confusing as to what type of therapist is in charge of what, and thee tends to be incidental overlap that I do not necessarily understand.

yeah talk about confusing, that is definitely something to keep in mind. I wouldn't want my son in a behavoiral group therapy because that will just intensify his fears. He needs to be with other kids who have social anxiety. Perhaps in a way I have almost come to a new road to investigate - separate from spd, what I really feel he needs is something specifically for social anxiety with kids his age.