Are they a friend or just being nice to me?

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Linkachu
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09 Aug 2016, 3:24 pm

So about 3 or 4 months ago I started being friends with an NT girl who is a year younger than me (she's 14 and I'm 15). I have known her for a couple of years as she is my sister's friend but it was only earlier this year we started becoming friends. She was the one who started the friendship as she started talking to me. We exchanged numbers and social media names and quickly became good friends. She would text or Snapchat me all the time and we moved to sit next to each other in our classes we have together. On the 2nd last day before the summer she came to my house and we had a great time. However the next day at school she kind of ignored me. I had no clue why but it made me cry.

Throughout the summer holidays we have texted a bit but nowhere near as much as usual. And she has started to ignore me too. I have confronted her a few times about this and she says she doesn't know how to reply which isn't true because she replied to everything just fine before. I saw her once during the holidays but it wasn't for long. I am also always the one to start conversations now which is another change. Recently it has gotten so bad we havent had a proper conversation in a few weeks. I have asked a lot to meet up but she is always busy. I honestly love her (as a friend. I don't fancy her) and I feel we get on so well, but nowadays she ignores me even when I ask a question. I feel like I am the only one putting effort into being friends and that if I didn't try and contact her we would just stop being friends altogether. It's really making me depressed as she is my only friend and my first friend in 7 years so I don't want to lose her. I just don't understand. Should I ask her?



kraftiekortie
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09 Aug 2016, 8:04 pm

Kids tend to be fickle. They go from one friend to another quite a bit.

It might not even be because of you that she's "ignoring" you.

Tell her what you've told us, and see how she reacts. Maybe she doesn't know the extent of your friendship feelings for her.



Linkachu
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11 Aug 2016, 3:13 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Kids tend to be fickle. They go from one friend to another quite a bit.

It might not even be because of you that she's "ignoring" you.

Tell her what you've told us, and see how she reacts. Maybe she doesn't know the extent of your friendship feelings for her.

Thank you for your feedback sorry for my late reply.
I do want to tell her but I don't know what would be the best way. I would like to call or FaceTime her but every time I ask she says she is busy or just ignores me. I don't think it would be best to text her it. What do you think?



Summer_Twilight
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13 Aug 2016, 4:41 pm

You could send an email and say that you hope she is doing well and then mention that you haven't heard from her in a while and notice is something is up.

Ask her these two questions:
1. Are you mad at me over something that I did?
2. Are you just not interested in associating anymore?



TheZachadoodle
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13 Aug 2016, 7:39 pm

I am going to honestly tell you this, in reality everyone tries to hold in that they want to say the other person is a dick.

Everyone in life is like that.

In the most peaceful office.... Yeah sure....... SURE....

(f*****g douchebag with his hot wife and tie)

OH HI ROD!

You probably don't believe me again.... Look at that guy with the dress shirt and suit. You have no idea how many times he has held in insults.

If anything he probably secretly felt like breaking the photographer's camera like everyone else.

So everyone views each other as that.

Idea of perfect dad with tie and shirt...... HAHAHA.... Fake.



Linkachu
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18 Aug 2016, 12:26 pm

Thanks for the replies guys. We went back to school but I'm getting the feeling she is embarrassed to be my friend. What are the signs?



the_phoenix
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20 Aug 2016, 6:15 pm

Linkachu wrote:
Thanks for the replies guys. We went back to school but I'm getting the feeling she is embarrassed to be my friend. What are the signs?


She has given you plenty of signs. When someone ignores two texts or two e-mails or two phone calls, and it's obvious that there's no good reason why they couldn't answer you (a good excuse would be something like they were sick or some emergency situation came up) ... that's a sign she's not interested in communicating with you. And if she says she's "too busy" and doesn't want to give you a reason, or gives a stupid reason ... that's another sign. This person may have been a friend in the past, but isn't anymore. Especially since when you see her in person, she doesn't want to talk to you.

Best thing is to move on and don't waste any more time on her. She's not even being nice to you from the sound of it. Instead, find people who treat you with more respect. You deserve better.



nurseangela
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20 Aug 2016, 6:26 pm

I just had a supposed "friend" do this to me - we were supposed to go to dinner before school starts and she didn't text to cancel or confirm after I texted several times. I'm not going to beg her to be my friend. The ball is in her court now.


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the_phoenix
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20 Aug 2016, 7:11 pm

I'm sorry to hear that, nurseangela,

I've seen your posts here on WP and you seem really nice and worth knowing to me.

Who knows what the story is ... here's hoping that you'll soon see it all turn out for the best.

My own personal note: The past three weeks have been absolutely crazy for me, and if you've noticed, I haven't been on WrongPlanet. I have had both wonderful things and terrible things happen, both of the life-changing important variety, and then too, my Internet died and was just fixed today.

Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be attending a picnic right now but I'm staying home ... and I also should be calling a friend to make plans to go out for dinner and ice cream soon, and I'm not calling. As for missing the picnic, part of it is that my gut feeling says not to socialize with this particular bunch of people right now ... but I did send an e-mail from the library explaining that I would probably miss the picnic, and explained truthfully about needing to be home today to have my Internet repaired. And as for the dinner with ice cream, I will eventually call my friend, but I may still need a few days of quiet time to process everything that's going on first. That said, if she were to call me in the meantime, I would be happy to talk to her and somehow find a way to make myself be social.



Summer_Twilight
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20 Aug 2016, 8:29 pm

I have had people act like my friend one day and then seem to flip the switch on me the next.