Explain this comment someone made about my gender?!

Post Reply New Topic

Ugh, I just made a really long post and somehow deleted it. So here's the short version.

I'm a pre-t trans guy who doesn't pass. This week I've spent a couple of evenings helping at some place with my friend and a group of people I didn't know. I introduced myself as a male name which I've heard some girls use as a nickname aswell, and I was wearing men's clothes and have short hair. I was referred to while there as 'she' , 'ladies' etc etc. I didn't come out to anyone (except my friend who I was out to already).

As I left, someone there who I liked a lot said something about me (just a boring neutral comment) infront of me using 'he'. I freaked out to my friend, who later asked this person how come she called me he. The person said:
"I just say it how I see it".

What does this mean??? I know she didn't think I'm biologically male for the reasons above. So what do you think she meant by this? Also, anyone got a clue how she figured out I'm a guy?

Sorry if this is incoherent, I'm still very excited.

1 You were wearing guy's clothing.
2 You have short hair.
3 You used a male (or gender ambiguous) name.

For these reasons, the person in question believed (correctly) that you would prefer to be referred to as male. Some of the other people present may also have gotten the hint, but either a) weren't being polite, or b) were following other peoples' lead.

Wild when people start gendering you all over the place, isn't it.
I know for myself, as I can be interpreted either way, everyone is in a sense "saying it how they see it."
I find it heavily dependent on context and past associations. If in a male context, I get male. In female context, female. If they've heard someone use male, female, he, she, etc then they associate my ambiguity with that cue and follow suit. People have also told me they get a male or female "energy" off me, which I think may actually be their subliminal processing of my mixed gender physical and vocal cues.
This person may have been getting that masculine energy off you, which makes sense as you're a man, whether you "pass" or not.

You're able to pass as masculine I suppose

I'm trans too.

I had that happen.

Someone said to me, "if it looks like duck, quacks like a duck, must be a duck".

She was the only one who had guts to say what she thinks. You probably made a lot of people wonder if you prefer to be considered a male instead of female because of your appearance and the "feel" around you but none of them said a word because they were not confident enough and afraid they might cause an awkward situation if it ends up their suppose is wrong. She decided to take the chance. And was right.