undertrying as social coin of the realm?

Post Reply New Topic

It seems to be. Trying, but not trying too hard. Being ready to reciprocate, but being casual about it.

One black guy was talking about how white guys are too upfront and nervous and seem to dance ahead of the beat, whereas black guys tend to more comfortably dance behind the beat. Of course, these are stereotypes, but the point is perhaps well taken.

For example, in the college dorm being somewhat good at billiards seems to bring some street cred as long as you don't brag about it. So, maybe casually asking a couple of dorm mates if they'd like to go shoot some pool. If they're interested, fine. If not, that's fine, too. You can practicing a couple of games on your own, you can go to the gym, you can hit the books in a quick study session, you have lots of stuff going on.

=====

An exception is established romantic relationships where the other person does expect you to really try.

What you're describing is what in old colleges used to be called "The Gentleman's C" -- if you got all A's you were a grind.

"Should I try to be a straight-A student?"
"If you are, then you think too much."


(I always preferred to be a grind.

i'm talking socially, trying to meet new people, begining stages of friendship, all that.

A person can still get a 3.7 or whatever, just be matter-of-fact and don't brag about it too much.

PS I'm also kind of a grind!