Can't study?

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For a long time, I struggled with not being able to study. I have read a lot of similar posts on this site, and wanted to give some advice that worked for me as well as ask you all how you manage.
As a backstory summary, I'll just mention that I did ZERO work outside of school for six years. I'm now in my senior year of high school. I discovered I had Aspergers over the summer. I've always felt ashamed of my inability to do work even though I wanted to, I was even ashamed of the way I did the work/my approach. I've always tried hard to fit in, to such an extreme that I wouldn't do things like read a really interesting book just because it happened to be thick, even when I was alone. The condition of not being able to do work when really wanting to do work feels like torture; You want to succeed, but are anxious about doing it "right" to such a degree you cant do anything. Then you are depressed because you failed. I would stay up for days at a time because I knew I couldn't do it but couldn't sleep without doing it. Also classes are boring, so why try?
Well, Aspergers, in a weird way, gave me permission to like myself. I already fit in a group, without even trying, and so do you Obviously I don't learn like other people. Why should I try to learn like other people?
For example, math class. Math is really easy and understandable, when the teacher is doing it. But I couldn't ever do it. I've always felt stupid and embarrassed, because even if I get the concept, when I get tests I never understand what they are asking me to do. Also, if I don't understand one concept and then they move on, I have the compulsion to start all over and learn in steps, because I'm scared I'll miss something. And, if it's not explained in writing, I can't understand it. In class, they give you notes and do examples, then you're supposed to do the homework and understand it.
Nope. Not for me. I read the textbook. As I go through the textbook, I look up how each concept is used in real life. Then I look up a lot of example problems, and write out IN WORDS what it is they are doing at each step. I try to find example problems for every possible variation and exception. If I don't understand a concept, I look it up and write down how it works and then why it works like that. Then I read it out to myself. Then, I find unsolved problems and copy the processes used in the examples, while reading the words to myself. I have found that when you learn something thoroughly, it becomes more interesting.
My point is, even if other people say it is stupid, it's really important that you at least know how you learn the best.

***Our way of doing things IS NOT WRONG, it's just different.***

Well, that's what worked for me, what about you?

I can somewhat relate to a lot of what you just said. Not all of it, but enough to feel like I have some understanding. I always struggle with focusing and sometimes I feel really unsure of what I'm meant to do, although I tend to get pretty good grades at least, it's just really damn hard sometimes. Maybe you could try talking to your teachers. I'm sure it probably seems really daunting, but you could at least try.

Best of luck,
Rachel

Bumped for selfish purposes (easy reference)

' I read the textbook. As I go through the textbook, I look up how each concept is used in real life. Then I look up a lot of example problems, and write out IN WORDS what it is they are doing at each step.

I try to find example problems for every possible variation and exception.

If I don't understand a concept, I look it up and write down how it works and then why it works like that.

Then I read it out to myself.

Then, I find unsolved problems and copy the processes used in the examples, while reading the words to myself. I have found that when you learn something thoroughly, it becomes more interesting. '

to me the actual process of studying is painful
i feel actual pain
the way someone would if they saw something sad happen on the way to work (eg cat get run over) or got kicked in the knees

then once i overcome that, or subdue it, i actually start to enjoy it
then
when i have to 'switch' to another responsibility and task,
i feel that pain all over again in the transitioning of doing something completely different thematically too,
adn stopping studying.

then i feel more reluctant and scared to begin again. because inevitably the pain comes, u overcome it, then have to swithc.. if it was just one theme (e.g. studying all day) that wd be best but it isn't.

the one member here who also gets the 'pain' thing is Raleigh he mentioned it (not in regards to studying but just generally)