People as obsessions or affections or special interests

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For as long as I can recall, I have occasionally gotten obsessed with people, one person at a time, and it can last for a year or more. The people I have become obsessed with are people I know/have known who are only vaguely tied into my world. I do not want the reality of them ruining the idea of them that I concoct in my head, so I generally, purposefully, stay away from them.

That's the norm for me... though it is not always what happens. I was obsessed with my spouse and he and I ended up getting married. I was also friends with an obsession of mine for a year or so. Other than that though, I don't want any part of these people in reality.

Anyway, while I do have OCD, I know this is not a component of my OCD because it causes me zero distress whatsoever. It's not psychosis or anything because I know it's not reality based. I'm not depressed and trying to fill reality with daydreams either. I'm not sure if people are special interests to me or not. I see similarities in them though... My activity based special interests seem to come and go and resurface again later in life, only slightly overlapping with one replacing the next and I do the same thing with people. It just seems it might not be special interests because I don't want to find things out about them or try to engage them or whatever. If it's a special interest thing, then I am really lazy about my interests.

I got to thinking about this recently as I have had a person stuck in my head for over a year now and I find that my interest in this person is almost completely gone and even if I think it might be nice to chill out and head trip over them for a bit, it feels forced and I don't much care to do so anymore. It's almost a bummer to me and I feel the same way when my interest in drawing fades away and I get into something like making beaded jewelry. Like, I'll miss you old friend. Weird, right? But at the same time this person obsession fades, a new old person is resurfacing to take its place. I have a hunch in a few weeks I will be over missing this fading obsession though.

Otay. I talked a lot there.

Questions... I was wondering if anyone relates, ever gets obsessed with people you either do or do not know, do you want anything to do with your obsessions if you do get obsessed? Also any general input on this would be great... thoughts on if this kinda thing is crazy obsessive, people special interests, or some bass ackwards way of feeling affection for people. Really any thoughts would be appreciated. I find it all a little odd and puzzling at the moment... which is dumb because I know I do this. Eh.

Usually, my special interests relate to a character or an actor/actress on TV shows or in movies. I attach to them like glue. I always fantasize about being friends, or even lovers with them. I'm not sure if that is the same thing as you mean. For a while, I was also obsessed with a girl I wanted to be friends who was actually, looking back, really mean to me. I tried to subtly mimic her personality and style of dress. I really wanted her to like me, but she just mocked me constantly.

Not sure, I've never been too concerned with "specific people" but I've been interested in social sciences and humanities like anthropology, history, sociology, or how "people as a group function".

As far as special interests go, I think the main difference between "AS and NT" interests is that NT interests usually boil down to engaging in a specific activity, while "AS" interests sometimes relate more to just thinking or learning about something in theory.

(Example - An autistic person might say they're "interested in tennis", even if their interest actually means they just like reading Wikipedia articles about tennis players, while an NT who says they're "interested in tennis" would generally mean they actually like to play tennis with people).

I've recently made friends with somebody new, and although I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with her, she's on my mind quite a bit. I have a crush on her as well, so maybe it's just that, but I think this has happened quite a few times before.

I don't often meet people that I get along with that are on my wave-length. It can take a long time for me to get comfortable with new people, and so when I click with someone and feel like I can be myself straight away, I do get pretty clingy. I quickly start to worry about them not having time for me, or making other friends and seeing them more than me. I told her about this yesterday as best I could and, thankfully, she understands.

I'd say any new friendships or relationships are more intense than obsessive. I grow attached to people faster than they do to me, I like to know exactly where I stand and for it to be very clear-cut and black-and-white. I guess some of this is why I was diagnosed with BPD before Asperger's, but I'm hoping to have that looked at, because I'm not really convinced I have that, it's just my autistic way of thinking.

Yes i dont see why people also cant be an 'interest' as such. I know when im in a relationship i take it as an interest in a way. I just want to do everything naturally possible to make that person happy. Some think its a little too much or presume 'im trying too hard' when im actually quit relaxed about it and its just part of who i am... So in essence i dont see why people cant become interests for some on the spectrum. I have seen a number of individuals on the spectrum openly admit that people/relationships are a special interest of theirs.

I get obsessed with a person from time to time. Occasionally, it's someone I know but often it's just someone that fascinates me (like Virginia Woolf). I consider these obsessions special interests because I feel the same way towards them as I do my other special interests.

I've found myself becoming enthralled with people and characters my whole life. Mick Avory of The Kinks has been the best one so far before I've discovered the visual world of television.

Yes, I get fixated on people, once or twice on "real" people who I've met but usually I become obsessive about a specific character in a book or movie who I closely identify with, so in effect it's a sort of self obsession by proxy.

Thank you all for responding. Is much appreciated.

I've always had fascinations with certain people too. When I was aged 13-16 I was obsessed with this couple I knew of, and I almost got done for stalking. But I just had to know everything about them and I so badly wanted to be involved in their lives, or even BE them. All it did was creep them out. They hated me after a while, and I picked up on that, but I was so obsessed, I didn't care.

Being obsessed with people does make me do stupid things that humiliate myself. I hang around the person I'm obsessed with, trying my hardest to befriend them, and intentionally ignoring their body language and even my conscience. I can never know enough about them, I need to know more, more, more....

Why is it that some of us on the spectrum get obsessions with people?

I have had obsessions with people ever since I was 6. I create a fantasy version of them in my head (not one with magic and stuff , but a fictional, idealized version of them) and make up scenarios with them in it. My obsessions do cause me a lot of pleasure, but they also do cause me distress. Like, I might get obsessed with looking up a certain thing related to that person, and not be able to relax. Or I sometimes think about giving an embarrassing gift to the person, and get embarrassed over that. Or sometimes---especially when my obsession starts--I just feel anxious, with my heart pounding and me feeling sort of sick, for no real reason. I don't try to pursue the person; I like it when/if they talk to me, but I'm too shy and obsessed to pursue them. Plus, I don't necessarily want a relationship with them.

The weird thing is that I sometimes get obsessed with people I don't even like. I still create a fantasy version of them, but it's a negative one. And I sometimes get obsessed with places, but not as a special interest, but in the same way I obsess over people.

I've been obsessed with people I don't like as well. The person I am starting to obsess over now is one I'm not particularly fond of overall... though I don't know it's fair to say I flat out dislike him... more like I dislike the life he lives and want nothing to do with it. In some ways though, he has been amusing to me though when I have had to interact with him. Come to think of it, the last time I was obsessed with this guy I imagined him in situations where he was always being jerky and irrational.

It is odd, isn't it... why some people get obsessed with people and others do not... No idea what that's about.

Any of you ever wonder if you have that excessive day dream thing going? I was thinking about that after I started this. I wondered at one point if I had something like that going on to. Not sure if things like this qualify if they cause no disturbance in day to day functioning, but when I do get to obsessing over someone, once it's almost over, I certainly have imagined enough about them to write a damn novel if I was so inclined... or was a competent writer.

I daydream excessively too. When I'm obsessed with someone, I daydream about them a lot. It's a really good thing no one can read my thoughts!

Those "thoughts" are what make you human.

As for me, I might get obsessed with a person---but not to the extent where the person is a "special interest."

I haven't really been obsessed with somebody since I was about 21-22 years old.