I am a parent of a 15 year old girl with very high functioning autism. The last couple of years have been rough. Added to the general difficulty of getting through teen years the feeling of being singled out as different, trouble with schoolwork and topped off with recent divorce (amicable but still... big changes) and moving states twice.
In all this my daughter has gone through huge emotional stress. Teen years--everything is drama drama. Add to that Depression, missing friends and familiarity.
We are finally settled in a good place in a progressive more accepting community. She's found a great creative outlet and her niche in theater. Her new friends are good kids--so happy to see that. In that group are quite a few bisexual, gay and transgender kids.
Last night my daughter announced that she is confused about her gender identity. She has no romantic or sexual interest in girls and doesn't think that will ever change and is very attracted to boys, but she says sometimes she feels like a boy more than a girl. But not always. Her taste in dress is decidedly female. She is confused about these feelings. I would like to help but I don't quite understand myself. She wants to cut her hair short to be more masculine but doesn't want to change her style of dress. She says she doesn't even understand it at all.
I love my daughter however she is happy--which is just what I told her. But I know my kid. I have a strong feeling that this gender identity questioning is more an emulation of her peer group--that need to fit in than a real reflection of her own true self. She's always felt this need to follow her crowd--to assimilate to fit in--not be perceived as different and be accepted. My worry is that she is going down this road not because she is truly conflicted about her gender identity but to find any kind of peer acceptance she can.
So today we are flipping through cute short hairstyles and reading stylist reviews. Hair is nothing to worry about. It's where this road might go-- I don't want life getting any more difficult or complex for her than it needs to. It's already been tumultuous. I just don't know.
Anyone with similar experiences have input? I could really use it.
13 Nov 2016, 3:51 pm
