I want my friend to know she might have aperger, but how?

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Hi

I live in Egypt, and here there is no way to get diagnosed with Asperger or HFA.
I was always interested in autism especially Asperger but there is very limited information about it in Arabic, so i had an idea to see if there is videos on youtube so that i can see these people rather than just read about them, after watching lots of videos from youtubers that have Asperger i could see how everyone was different and started to think that maybe i have Asperger, because people always told me that i was weird and they thought that is because i am half german.
so i began to research Asperger, watched moves and read books i even bought the complete guide of Asperger from amazon and enjoyed reading it.
it's been three months since then, and of course i still don't know if i really have it, because i don't have the common sensory processing disorder - or think that i don't have it - , and actually my life is good and i have very good friends how like me and accept me as i am, but now i can accept my self even more because even if i don't have Asperger me being different can just mean that my brain is wired in a different way.

the problem for me now is that i have a friend she was a classmate from elementary to high school, and i can recognize a lot of things that tell me she is on the autism spectrum, she never really had friends and i was and still her only friend even thought our relationship isn't deep, she said she talked to me because i was quite and that she didn't like other people because they are loud even thought she herself is loud, once she was very angry at me and shouted at me and the problem had something to do with changing her routine, when we talk she don't give me a chance to answer or say any thing, she was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, but she was getting better until her mother died suddenly, since then she won't answer my calls, and after high school she didn't go to college so basically isn't doing any thing with her life, i want to tell her my thoughts about her being on the autism spectrum and i don't know how, like most Egyptians she isn't good in English, and i can't just say it directly because maybe she won't accept it, i am thinking may be i will watch a move about Asperger with her, and talk with her about thinking that i might have it and why so that she can recognize it in herself, but she don't let me talk much, i am confused and don't really know what to do.

what do you think ? i would like to know your opinion

I am very sorry, it ended up being very long

This is tricky question because people react in so many different ways. A lot of times advice is given to give subtle hints to a person suspected to be on the spectrum. But if they are autistic they are not likely to pick up on subtle hints. But TMI can trigger a shutdown or meltdown.

If she is a contented or happy person I would not tell her.

If you decide to broach the subject I would tell her you have gotten fascinated with Aspergers lately and have been researching it a lot and have noticed she has a lot of the traits associated with the condition. Next move is completly up to her.

People are ready when are are ready. No amount of cajoling can change that.

Perhaps you should start with yourself: "I have been reading....look....and that tooo..... perhaps I have it.....do you recognize anything yourself?". Watch her reaction. Many are shutting their faces by the word. It is important to make her see, that it isn´t anything "wrong" or "sickly" - but rather "different" and other words, most people would accept. I did that and suddenly my friend opened up and said "Hmm DIFFERENT.....I might have it"

If I were you I would tell her straight forward...no hints...or subtle clues...because if she was raised to believe she is NT any subtle hints won't mean anything to her...she will fight to her last wit to deny that she is anything but "normal"...I think the best way to give her peace of mind is to tell her that she is not alone...that there is an entire sub culture of people with AS all over the world...I suggest you two join the WP forums...you translate to her what the other aspies in WP are talking about...maybe then she can feel a sense of belonging that she might start accepting what she is ....

I would not tell her flat out she is autistic because you do not not know that. Autistic traits occur with other conditions.
You can give her the information but she is the one who has to come to a conclusion.

They don´t always recognize. Mine didn´t.

i want to say that i finally manged to tell my friend that she might be on the autism spectrum today, we checked the criteria together and it fit's way better than the several diagnoses she had been given and explains some of them - SPD, Bipolar disorder, Social anxiety, depression -
it was tricky to tell her that, first i told her that i was on the spectrum when i visited her, then for about two weeks i talked with her on facebook several times - she won't let me talk a lot in person because she is really bad at holding a conversation - and today i told her on the chat that i don't think she have SPD and gave her my reasons, she then agreed with me and said that i understand her, and then i get to the point and told her that i think her problems can all be explained by ASD, at this point i phoned her and i explained it to her and we checked the criteria together.
of course i made it clear from the start that i am not a professional, and this is just my opinion and observation.
we will try to discuss this with her psychiatrist, and maybe lend him my copy of " the complete guide to Asperger's syndrome "

i thought i will post this update, because i don't like not knowing what happened in the end when some one posts his problem.

The only reason I came to even start researching autism was because a friend from way back in junior high messaged me on facebook after something I had posted about misophonia. She is pre-med and has autism herself, and she told me that she sees a lot of traits in me and suggested I do some research on it. I then proceeded to message my friend who has her PhD and is a Psychologist and she also confirmed that she thought I had traits of it. After that, I did more research and made an appointment with a local doctor who specializes in diagnosing autism in adults. My appointment is May 8th. I would say just be honest with your friend and say you've been researching aspergers and it seems as though she has certain traits that also relate to it, but it's nothing to worry about. I appreciated my friend telling me that because for as long as I can remember, I've always felt like a loner or that I didn't fit in, and having someone tell me there was a valid reason for it immediately brought me a lifetime of relief.