I believe I have generalized anxiety disorder and it's ruining my life. Most things out of the ordinary "scare" me. I feel "fear" from thinking of things I don't want to do. Sometimes I don't feel well and I must go out to walk the dog, and I fear I will meet people and have an awkward conversation with them because I'm forced to talk to them if I don't want to sound rude.
I believe I have a trauma from school. Since I tried taking math courses with a personal teacher, every time I come to their house I am more anxious than the last time, to the point I cannot go anymore. I'm not sure why and how since I love learning. I guess I really don't like sitting on a chair for 30 minutes to 1 hour focusing even though I do that all the time at home, on a computer. I can't seem to force myself to learn on a computer either... I just play video games and google questions I have about anything.
If I come to need to go somewhere I don't know, I feel fear. To talk to someone even if I somewhat know them, to go to an appointment or even just do something I don't want to do, I am afraid.
There's no "what if" in my mind, I "know it will be this way" and most of the time I am right.
I just started seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist and I will soon try cannabidiol oil, and hopefully I won't feel fear from simple things anymore, one day.
I'd like your thoughts on why I feel more and more fear when going back to a place I actually know better every time. Thank you.
Here's my ferret because I like him:
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I'm here to make friends.