getting dx for teen ... then maybe for myself?

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One child was dx with ADHD inattentive type several years ago and I was dx with combined type. We ended up homeschooling due to various issues with school. In recent years she has asked about other possible issues / learning difficulties and since she wants to go to college, and has every intention of being an independent adult, we are seeking the assessments we did not get in the past. I was told that insurance won't cover every test and the center asked questions to narrow it down to which specialist she would see. They determined likely ASD from the brief conversation and am still waiting for the stack of paper they are supposed to be sending. We just want her to have opportunities for any help she may need in college or life after high school.

Of course we have been looking things over and trying to remember what she has been like over the years in order to fill out the paperwork. Unfortunately I have realized that I am going to need help with that because not only is my memory not great but so much that I am seeing as "signs" are things that I would have ignored or not really noticed. I was a weird kid so having a weird kid didn't seem all that weird I am pretty certain she qualifies at some level though.

At the same time I keep seeing things and thinking to myself "I did that. It's not that weird." - To so many things. Combine that I keep some things secret because I already know how some people react and with the fact that throughout life I have worked with people with varying disabilities and always felt really comfortable to the point of understanding what they want / need when everyone else is just frustrated with them. I decided to take the online tests. First the AQ score only 33 - high but only by a smidgen. Then I heard about the Aspie Quiz and how everyone seems to think it is a more thorough assessment - Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 143 of 200, Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200, You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie). Several questions and things I have seen elsewhere are things that I just never thought were different.

SOooooooo maybe after dealing with my teen's dx I may seek out as dx myself. For the most part I don't really think I need it now. My life is really good, but I wonder about the "what if's". What if something were to happen to my husband and he could not be the primary bread winner? What if I had to get a full time job? I have a part time job on purpose. Would it help or hurt at work?

I work with individuals with severe disabilities but often get what they want when others don't BUT people always think every little thing they do is a "behavior" as opposed to something perfectly normal and harmless. I'm only part time and folks don't listen to my quiet suggestions in the moment. Often times it is things that are solved when I am left alone with the individual (I don't care if you tear up your magazine - looks like fun. You are screaming because you don't like where that raw chicken is stitting? Let's find another spot for that. You want to take off your shoes? Go ahead. You don't like the hair clip in my hair? Ok I can do without today. ). Maybe they would if there was a reason for them to believe that I had some amount of insight? Maybe not?

As a middle-aged diagnosee (is that a word?), try not to think of you or your daughter's behaviors in terms of "weird" or "not weird" but just in terms of "did this happen?" As Joe Friday always said, "Just the facts, ma'am."

I was lucky in that I was able not only to take the "official" diagnostic self-evaluation given to me by a psychologist specializing in autism (both child and adult), I also have my mother who remembers a lot of my behaviors and my wife, whom I've known since I was 11. They both filled out the questionnaire independent of each other and rated me (along with my self-report) with the exact same score.

Not everyone is that fortunate, but just having a family member or longtime friend fill in the answers-- even to the online Aspie quiz-- on your behalf to see how close you are to their estimation can tell you if you're on to something.

Remember too that ASD is still way under diagnosed in females for what are probably cultural reasons, to put it nicely.

Hopefully if they say you have Autism they don't try to take away your rights latter on?

Oooooooo maybe after dealing with my teen's dx I may seek out as dx myself. For the most part I don't really think I need it now. My life is really good, but I wonder about the "what if's". What if something were to happen to my husband and he could not be the primary bread winner? What if I had to get a full time job? I have a part time job on purpose. Would it help or hurt at work?

You mentioned the 'what if', regarding the possibility of your own diagnosis. The 'what if' was what made me go for mine.

I didn't feel that I needed anything at the time. I felt so in control - I felt like I was hiding my autism well. Sure, I wasn't doing great socially but I figured that I had a lid on all of that autism stuff. That I was the only one that would really notice, because I was living it inside. I thought I'd be diagnosed, but that I may have been hiding it too well.

But, I was concerned about the future. I was only doing so well because I had a supportive husband and could control my own life. If anything happened to him, I knew I would feel lost and would struggle a lot with basic practicalities and having to return to full-time employment (I'm part-time self-employed, right now).

So, I got my diagnosis and it's peace of mind for the future.

More than that, I realised my autism was so much more obvious than I knew. And that only really clicked into place once I was diagnosed. I understood myself much more, and I now realised it was never hidden anywhere near as much as I expected. There was no trouble diagnosing me, and I'm now so acutely aware of the autistic behaviours that I display every day and that, even when I was self-diagnosing and researching obsessively, I completely denied. Even when I was trying to find every single clue to prove to myself that it was worth going for a diagnosis, I missed so many obvious things that I do every single day.

Being diagnosed, and understanding my autism, has made me realise how much it impacts every aspect of my life.

And, as a result, I've found that there are so many things I'm able to do for myself now - it's not just about my future, it has immensely improved things for me TODAY.

Thank you for the responses. They are helpful.

I guess on her paperwork I will just have to wait and see how things are worded. I'm sure I'm overthinking it and hopefully they will anticipate a parent of a struggling kid may also have some memory struggles.

As for myself I will probably pursue that after I'm done with hers. I haven't yet seen anyone say they regret it.