Social anxiety and dwelling on small things

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A few days ago I had done some Christmas shopping and boarded the bus home, with 3 heavy bags. There was nowhere to sit as usual, so I had to take the seat right at the front behind the driver. But then I noticed there wasn't any of those buttons what ding at the front, and I didn't want to go half way up the bus just to ring the bell, so instead I got up and politely told the driver that I was getting off at the next stop. He didn't seem to like it, and grumpily said, "can't you ring the bell then?" So I had to explain why, thinking why he was making such a fuss over nothing.
When I got off I felt like crying, although I told myself not to cry over something so silly, but I still felt rather upset. I've been dwelling on it since.

Is it related to anxiety/social anxiety, to dwell on something that most others would just shrug off? To others, it was just a grumpy bus-driver, but to me it was a form of insult, disrespect, and a little intimidating. I hate being so sensitive, but it's the way I am.

Does anyone feel like this over a small incident?

I could have written this myself ! I know what you mean i got really upset because i thought i was being polite to ask the driver, especially as ive dont it all my life!! No your quite right i think. The once i got on a free bus in nottingham with my baby in pram. I made the pram so it only covered one seat, but the driver said i had to put it sideways. I felt so guilty i had to keep tapping myself to prevent myself from getting off the bus as i felt so bad and stupid for taking more space than i needed. Also another pushchair wanted to get on shortly afterwards. ... i then felt like crying. I dont get it either ! !

i still go over it ocassionallly and it was 6 months ago xx

I often feel bad when I think I had done the right thing but was made out to feel I had done something wrong so the reason why I am cautious about being helpful. I tend to do nothing at all and other people have already beat me to it anyway before I can respond because I was too busy thinking "would it be appropriate to do this?" "What if it's not the right time?" And peoples negative attitude I keep thinking I had done something wrong or did something inappropriate.

One time I got on the bus years ago and the bus was packed. There were still empty seats and this guy has his bag on the seat and he wouldn't move it and I was too anxious to say anything. So I start to pick it up and he goes "I was going to move it?" and I just go "sorry" and he moves it and I sit. I felt bad like I had done something wrong. I hate confrontations. and conflicts. He did not sound happy at all. He sounded unfriendly so it made me feel I did something wrong. I always hate talking to strangers because I am always afraid I will intrude or get them upset or thinking I might be rude without meaning to be. Then I feel worse about myself because I feel passive aggressive and acting like I want people to read my mind because I just can't be straight forward. Then I go online and see posts about how people are not honest and don't say things and I feel bad about myself because why can't I just toughen up and quit caring about other people. A bad incident can affect me in the future for other situations because that person had proven to me what a social defect I am so to avoid any other social mistakes, I avoid the situation which makes it even worse because then I feel like a dishonest person and two faced.

What annoys me about it too is that I was worrying about asking the driver to stop at the next stop. But then I thought that I was just overthinking again, so I told myself that asking the driver to stop at the next stop is just the same as ringing the bell, and that he won't tell me off or anything. But, lo and behold, he DID be rude to me, so my overactive mind was RIGHT.
I also didn't want to walk halfway up the bus to ring the bell because of the fear of being judged by people. I worried that they might think why am I going all the way up the bus to ring the bell when I'm sitting right at the front and just could ask the driver to stop.

See what I mean? This is my social anxiety. I am constantly worrying about other people and their thoughts, feelings and intentions. And a lot of the time, my assumptions turn out to be right.

Life has it's quirks and ironies.

As someone with S. A. it is interesting my 2 top career paths include mental health and entertainment.

We feel insulted and disrespected when we don't understand why someone behaves the way they do, but we should remember that as much as others don't understand us or our behaviour, we don't understand the reasons behind theirs either.

This happened to me a couple of years ago but the bus driver was an old school friend so I felt comfortable asking him why he couldn't just stop the bus at the next stop. He explained that in rush hour traffic in particular, they have a squillion things to think about (his words, not mine), with half-asleep drivers who cut into traffic being the main problem. He said if he had to concentrate on remembering which passenger wants which bus stop, he'd lose all concentration on the road and probably crash. I suppose it depends on where you live, but here, there are some right eejits on the road who shouldn't be, and I totally understand the bus driver's response. Also, I don't know whether they still exist, but there used to be signs behind the driver's cab on all buses, which told passengers not to distract the driver, or to stand so close to his cab that you were obstructing their view. What I did after that when boarding a bus with heavy shopping for just one stop, is to just swing my head around and ask the first passenger who caught my eye contact if they'd kindly ding the bell for me as I couldn't reach.

The driver could have taken the time to explain things to you, which meant you would have understood him, but he was most likely tired, stressed out, or trying to concentrate on the road to even think properly, but I don't think he meant any genuine disrespect.

The need to be understood is crucial for all.
In my case I need to slow down my questions and listen more.

My mouth can lead to deafness.

Well actually most passengers stand up at the front after ringing the bell, ready to get off, and so I didn't think it made much difference whether I rang the bell or asked him for the next stop, I'd still be standing there ready to get off. Anyway I often see people standing there talking to the drivers while they're driving, which is not really allowed. But just asking for the next stop is hardly causing much distraction, as everything can't always be precisely played by the rule all the time.

I did not want to ask anyone to ring the bell for me because where I was sitting was at the front and behind me were luggage racks so I was quite apart from the other passengers, and I felt too shy to ask. Unless a stranger is sitting right near me, I don't like to call, because I have such a horrible shy voice that gets swallowed up in background noise and people don't hear. Plus it was quite noisy on the bus, everyone was chatting loudly.

But, I suppose because I'm an Aspie, I'm in the wrong again. If it were the other way around (me being a rude bus-driver to a passenger) I would still be in the wrong.

I'm engaged to a bus-driver, so I know a bit about what their jobs entail, how long their shifts are and how stressed they get, but when I told my boyfriend about it, he said himself that there was no need for him to be rude.

I was diagnosed with GAD, not social anxiety, but I think I've been in the exact same situation and worried about the same things (passengers watching me vs. upsetting the bus driver).

I do worry a lot about "small" things, but, like you, the things I worry about often happen. I've been very confused about whether a person should really be considered to have a mental disorder (anxiety) if the things she's anxious about are realistic.

I think that several traits can cause a person to get upset over "small" incidents, including being observant or detail-oriented enough to notice and be able to predict undesirable situations.

In the bus situation, I would have been upset about having to deal with the bus driver being angry with me even though I had predicted that would happen. It's very angering and frustrating to try to overcome my anxiety, then face the exact thing I was afraid of. That feeling is what makes small incidents seem big to me, I think. So I wonder if you really felt bad about the driver's attitude, or was it something else that made you feel that way?