Do Aspies never marry or have kids?

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Anyone who knows me knows that I will never get married or have kids. Marriage and kids are a huge responsibility and they are not for me. I already knew when I was 13 that I would never have kids or get married and my mind still hasn't changed. Life is already hard enough when you are single and don't have kids. My life would just be more complicated and I already know that if I were to get married, the marriage wouldn't last long. I don't think anyone could put up with me and my ways and I couldn't put up with somebody else like that. I never want to have kids because I don't want the responsibility and I don't want to pass my problems down to them. While I want to have friendships and people to do things with, I don't want to be tied down to a spouse and kids. I do enjoy my alone time. I was wondering if other aspies feel this way.

Personally, I wanted to get married and I wanted to have kids, and I know that being a spouse and a parent is a very big responsibility. Whoever says that we should never do those things are just nutcases who just make assumptions.

I agree with you that aspies should be allowed to get married and have kids, but for me personally, I know it will never happen and I am fine with that. Not only are marriages and kids a big responsibility, but they also bring a lot of change. Aspies, including myself, hate change. I try to avoid change as much as possible. I'm sure that not all aspies feel the same way that I do, but being a responsible adult is not me. I am more like a kid even though I am in my 20s. I just don't have the maturity to commit to anything like a marriage or kids and I know that a lot of aspies mature slowly.

I'm definitely going to have kids, and I really do want to see both myself and my partner in them. I think they would be lovely little monsters.

It's fine that some people choose to not have a marriage/not start a family, I just would find it morbid if someone were to highly discourage it to others, though. It's a very personal choice, there isn't much for debate from outsiders. Just a lot of discussion between the people that are actually considering to have a marriage/family.

I choose not to pay attention to divorce percentages, they are silly. I have absolute confidence in the partner I selected for long-term, as I believe we're intellectually, emotionally, and physically compatible.

Also, I don't believe that you can change a persons nature. I find it's a very unhealthy thing to demand from someone, it can be taken as, 'I don't like the way you are, can you be someone else from now on?'. I think those are the marriages and relationships that are doomed to fail.

I would say I definitely want a family, I grew up in a pretty big family the type of that had big get togethers and family reunions that kind of blew up after my grandparents died which is something that deeply hurts. I haven't seen or spoken to most of my extended family in years and I doubt I will ever speak to most of them ever again. I would want to recreate and learn from the mistakes that my family, I think that's kind of the purpose of life. I think about my parent's marriage and the dysfunction we have in my immediate family, we may be ****'d up but we've stayed together because that's what families are supposed to do.

I have Asperger's, am married, and have four kids.

My kids are not autistic. They understand my quirks better than anyone else and love me anyway. I do not regret having kids.

I did both.

i never wanted kids for lots of reasons & I had no interest in romantic relationships until my 1st girlfriend told me she liked me when I was 20. I had a high desire to be married after that cuz I was really lonely alone. I've been living with my current girlfriend for 4 years now & we would be married by now if it wouldn't screw up her benefits cuz we're both disabled.

i would say that some do, some dont. but i guess im proving the dont half. as I hate kids, alot, they are extremely irritating, arogant little know it alls. oh and im gay

and nobodies ever liked me that way, but im 19, so theres plent of time

I'd like to get married and have kids. Not now, I'm only 16 and have other things that need to be sorted out before then, as well as some things I can enjoy before then. Someday, like in my twenties or thirties. It's true that love and relationships can happen to anyone. Anyone who assumes Aspies can never do these things are just making assumptions: change is inevitable.

I would like to get married, but I don't know if I would want kids or not. I would definitely want pets though because I do like taking care of things.

I married someone who it turned out is also on the spectrum, as are both of our children. It can be very difficult, especially since two of us are extremely sound sensitive and two vocally stim (half overlap in the two groupings). And we've had some epic 4-way, whole-family meltdowns.

Apart from that, though, we understand each other the way NT families do...except completely different. And since we got lucky and we are all Autistics my spouse and I have shaped our family life to fit us rather than try to force any of us to fit the outside world in ways we can't. We also are teaching our children how to survive and yes, even thrive in a largely neurotypical world. It's tough, those first 8-10 years, but then it gets so much easier and rewarding and wonderful. Or it did for us.

To each their own. If I knew then what I know now - but hadn't met my children yet - perhaps I would have chosen to remain single or childless. But I had a biological drive to have children *and* I have met them and my spouse and love them all very, very much. They are a part of me and I am a part of them. We have very little in common with most NT families & I wouldn't have it any other way.

I want to marry and start a family. However, I am worried that the ship has sailed on the latter because of my age (I turn 37 the day after tomorrow).

Anyone can marry at any (legal) age. My Mum is on the Spectrum (undiagnosed but it's obvious), and she got married and had two daughters. It's all about finding the right person, the one you can be yourself with, it's the relationship where you both push each other to be better without domination. Edenthiel said it, it's hard but of course it is. Every relationship has to have challenges. I know a LOT of people on the Spectrum who don't want to get married let alone have kids, but that doesn't mean we can't or don't. And age is no barrier, not for the right person who won't care about that superficial stuff.

My father who is an aspie married my mum and had 2 kids. My sister got married who is also an aspie. I wanted to get married, but decided most men are idiots so better just being friends instead although I like the idea of relationships so who knows. Think it depends on the person and what stage in life they're at