I was punsihed for being a bullying victim

Post Reply New Topic

My bullying/discrimination story. but it is a pretty distressing story, I almost ended up contemplating suicide on several occasions was I was 13-15 because of the bullying back in 2004-2006. My case could have become like Ty Smalley's but even his bullying case wasn't even as bad as mine since his bullies got in trouble along with him for fighting back, but I was the only one who got in trouble, Most of the time I didn't even lift a finger!

My mom is the reason I am alive and here today, and I would like to thank for that before I begin with the story.

When I was in middle school, a group of bullies, began calling me homophobic and slurs against disabled peoples like ret*d, fa***t. On top of that, they physically assaulted me often.

The bullies like, me were in the NYC board of education's district 75, a program, for people with disabilities, every school had a district 75 program called the inclusion program. Because of my label, I needed a aid to accompany wherever I go, and during recess, if it was indoor on the count of the weather I wasn't allowed to be with my classmates watching movies in the auditorium, but I had to be in the inclusion room since my para had to go to lunch when I had recess. I hated that room because that's where the horrible person, the director of the inclusion program was and she often mistreated me, especially when I flexed my rights over how I was being treated.

I felt embarrassed that since I knew how to read/write, do Arithmetic, take notes, I was wondering why I needed a full time aid, as I was teased in class over it occasionally.

The thing was, aside from the teasing, it was absolutely nothing what I went through when I was in the inclusion room. There, the bullies would often beat me, falsely accuse me of calling them names to get me in trouble, all in front of the director, she saw it, but didn't pay attention until they became violent, or I started like a second grader shouting, Mrs So and so, they're hitting me, or when I screamed at them to leave me alone.


The worst part, the inclusion program director who witnessed the bullying not only didn't do anything, but punished me for "starting the fight". How is sitting in my seat and not doing anything, starting a fight?!

I got into a heated argument with the teacher, which got me an additional three days detention for shouting and cursing at her. Since the shouting/cursing outburst over me getting detention for being beat up, I got detentions and loss of privileges often, for things as simple as rolling my eyes, talking back which I often did, since I was often mistreated and I felt it was necessary to stand up for my rights, even if I was punished more for it.

I often argued the unfairness of the treatment. I often asked the director of the disability department why she would punish me for tiny things, and let the bullies get away with bullying me, and even punish me at times for being a bullying victim.

When I was 13, on Friday February 11, 2005 , a bully took my hat of my head and threw it into the mailbox after tossing it around with the other bullies, despite my para witnessing the incident and telling the director about it, she, as I expected did nothing about it. Also, that day was very cold, with temperatures less than 0 degrees C.


Just four days later, on Tuesday February 15, 2005, it was a warm day, there was some light rain in the morning, but my noon the sun had come out and temperatures were expected to get up to 13 degrees C. After lunch, I came to grab my jacket, since I was allowed to go to outdoor recess since there are school staff present during recess.


(The director was too stupid to realize this, but in the indoor recess the same staff were also there, she just didn't want to me to be in the auditorium to keep me from watching movies and being with my friends since one day I got into a non-heated argument and I complained to her why i had to be in the inclusion room when all of my friends were watching movies. Because I constantly complained to her about this, she made a special rule for me, that I wasn't allowed to be in recess if it was indoors, while the other students of the inclusion program were allowed to go. Next year the inclusion director also prevented me from joining on the school social groups since I argued with her to let me join them, while the other members of the inclusion program allowed to go, but I had to bargain and bargain with her to let her to let me go, but she said since I was too persistent and too nagging, I wasn't allowed to join, this actually tanked my grades slightly since the groups did count for a tiny margin of my grades.)


Back on track; I was in the room grabbing what I thought was my jacket. My jacket First Down brand jacket with goose feathers (Down) inside the lining of the jacket. The jacket I picked up was visually similar to the jacket the I wore. I was just about to put it on, when I realized the logo was missing, I checked on the inside to back sure it wasn't inside-out, but the logo wasn't there either, and I realized the jacket wasn't mine. I proceeded to put the jacket back on the rack. I was standing in front of the rack the whole time.


Then, just as I was putting my jacket back, I heard a voice shout, "Yo, what the expletive are you doing with my jacket. I was gonig to tell him, "Sorry, your jacket looks like mine, I didn't mean to touch your jacket". Before I even finished what I was saying, while I had already placed the jacket back on the hook, he picked up a textbook and hurled it at me. I caught it just in time, and then in sudden anger, threw it to the floor beside me.


with no words exchanged, he charged at me to punch me, he landed a punch on my shoulder, and while he was preparing to punch me again, I grabbed another textbook off the desk and held it up to shield myself from his blows.


Eventually, near the end of the fight, I picked up another textbook and was preparing to slam it on the back of his head when the director interfered, which surprised me since the room was only 7 meters long by 3 meters wide, and she was facing us, she should have stopped the attack as soon as she started, instead she did nothing, until I almost had an opportunity to defend myself.

In the middle of the fight, I told him, "Oh, it's okay for you to steal my hat and throw it into the mailbox, but the moment I accidentally touch something of yours, you go all monkey on me?!"

That statement got him even more agitated, but he didn't do anything. He got agitated because he knew I was right and that I had schooled him.

The teacher though like usual, took his side and not mine and she said to keep the two of us separated, I couldn't go to outside to recess. I then asked if I could use the computer, she told me, "Because you touched his jacket, you are not allowed to use the computer, just sit down and read a book".

She was giving another detention during recess again for being bullied. '


I told her, "But I didn't mean to touch his jacket, his jacket looks just like mine and anyway, on Friday he through my hat in the mailbox, and I told you that several times on Friday, Monday and Today, why are you punishing me for accidentally touching his jacket and not him when he threw my hat away?!"

I emphasized my question with a bit of a raise in tone out of frustration, but I did not shout.


She said, "If you use that tone with me again, you will have loss of computer privileges tomorrow as well."

I then got up, when up to his jacket and said, "This is for throwing my hat in the mailbox and getting away with it, and for getting me in trouble for beating me up, and for all the crap you do to me."

I then took his jacket off the hook threw it on the floor and began stomping on it and I was going to bite his jacket as well, but I didn't want the bully to notice his jacket damaged for obvious reasons.

I then put the jacket back on the hook and wiped of any traces of dirt and made it look like nothing happened. Anyways, the director told me because of that outburst, I had lost computer privileges for the rest of the week and if the weather was nice like that day, I had to be in the inclusion office for the rest of the week during recess.

I was in a sour and grumpy mood for the rest of the day, but not even my pessimistic view on life could have prepared me what would happen just a few moments later.

around 2:40 PM, during dismissal, I was heading for the stairway on the north wing of the school building, and I passed through the door into the stairwell, and just as I was about to take my first step, I felt someone shove me, and I fell down.
As I fell head over heels, as I fell and my head briefly for a brief moment was positioned looking up towards the door, I saw the bully's back as he was running out of the stairwell, and my para-professional, was shouting his name, but he ignored her and ran towards his school bus.

As I laid writhing in pain, I began cursing him and his family for all of the horrible things he did to me since he never got punished for any of them.


Hearing the commotion, the director came out, and asked, "What Happened?"

My Para said, "Bully's name just pushed Arthur down the stairs, he ran down the hallway to the other stairwell.

The Director said, "Okay, let's get you to the nurse's office".

The nurse was unavailable, so I went to the principal's office to tell him what happened, but the director prevented me from telling him, trying to reassure me that she will now do something about it.

I then told her, "If you really cared or even liked me, you would have done something the first time you saw I was being attacked, instead you did nothing, and not only that, you did do something, but you punished me and not the bullies, because I am jewish and white, just please let me this once get the justice that I rightfully deserve!"



she told me, "I promise you I will do something about it.

I rolled my eyes and told her, "Yeah, right."

I then went up to one of the school Safety officers who were under employment by the New York City Police department, and I always knew that if someone hurts me, who better to go than the police. I have the officer the bully's name and what bus he takes.

Anyway, the director reassured me this time she would do something about it.

I went home and told my parents, grandparents and my respite worker who visited me every day from an agency that serves people with autism and other developmental disabilities what happened and I told them I didn't want to go to school as I was in severe pain and i was scared, and I told my parents who were bullying me.

My mom told me I had to go to school, but I told her, "Mom, Mrs so and so, hates me, she punishes me whenever she believes I did anything wrong at all, and as I told you before, she even punishes me for simply being hit by the bullies by implying that I was also involved in the fight, then when I counter her statement by arguing that the bullies who attacked me were also involved in the fight and the ones who were the most aggressive are not being punished why should I, mom she punished me more for talking back and for as she called it a smart-aleck.
Mom, if I go back to school, he will be there and he will try to hurt me again because I told on him, I don';t want to go back tomorrow, in fact I don't want to go back there ever again."



Anyway I went back to school, and just as I expected, he was there and not only that, to my extreme displeasure, he was using the computer during recess, which is an hour before mine, since he was older than me and up two grades. As I saw that, I asked the director, "What is the meaning of this?! You made a promise and you broke it, typical of someone who hates autistic Jewish people. I knew I was right when I told you in front of all those people who weren't going to do anything."

She told me, "Oh, but I called his parents."

I said, "That's all you did, yet for no reason, you give me punishments worse than what you give to them when they attack me horribly, and when they could have killed me, like right now."

when I told my mom thsat the bully was not only not expelled, or suspended, but was not disciplined in any way, she knew that I often got punished for being bullied, for small infractions like talking back, flexing my rights, or handing in messy homework due to motor skills and I knew that if I argued I would get more consequences, though I knew I was in the right, I decided not to argue, but just say to the director, my handwriting is messy because of my disability, if she was in a good mood, she would let it slide.

Why should someone's mood determine how I would be treated.

This is why my mom had numerous meetings with the director. she did treat me a tiny bit better, but the bullies were never pusnished for how they treated, while I still was. In a matter of fact, the next year in 2006, while my mom had already found a new school for me, a bully one who bullied the previous year as well (In total 5-6 people bullied me, all were in the inclusion program. In the 2004-2005 school year everyone in the program bullied me! :angry:) Anyway, a bully did something blamed it on me and I got punished for it, I called the bully a motherf***** trouble maker. My para the next year, a male called me out in the hallway, then he took me by the collar and dragged me into the stairwell. I was scared and did not know what I did wrong if I did anything wrong at all.

while in the stairwell, he pushed me against the wall and said, "I heard what you said to him.

I asked him, "tell me what I said, because I don't know what you're talking about"

He said, "You know exactly what I am talking about, I heard everything what you said, and I want you to repeat exactly what you told him."

I then told him, "I told him, How dare you for getting me in trouble for the s*** you did, You motherf******* troublemaker.

He said "no, you called him a motherf***** troll n*****".

The moment he accused me of that, this was the first time I ever lost my temper at a school official in such a confrontational matter. I don't regret a single thing I said to this bastard, and honestly, I still wish I had socked this disrespectful arrogant a****** right in the nose.

I screamed at him at the top of my lungs in what was my first verbal meltdown in half year and my first ever in school, or any school for that matter up to that point, in my meltdown I screamed to him"are you f****** deaf, you do need hearing aids, you must need them, or you have heard exactly what I said, properly!"

(All my meltdowns previously was when I head to deal with abuse from male authority figures at home, and the meltdowns often involved me trading punches if I got hit, especially if I didn't do the thging I was being hit for. I ended up being kicked out of my mom's house because one day when my stepfather was abusing me I threatened to kill him if he ever hit me again and I re-iterated my point by picking up a knife. This happened when I was 12 and my stepfather at the time was going through some serious financial issues and he liked taking his frustrations out on me, because he felt it was okay to beat me since I was disabled, but I knew he was picking on me because I was different, and that day he realized that I was not weak and could take him on in a fight.

Because of the danger we posed to each other we had to be separated. Today our relationship is better, but he still berates me, so I think of him as a cranky old fool. )

To make me look bad for how I responded to his outrageous false accusation, he went up to the bully and asked him, "Did Arthur call you a motherf***** troll n*****?

Being a bully and being biased agianst obviously because of my awkardness and then possibly my open desire for revenge against the bullies and because I was Jewish and middle eastern. Racially I am neither white nor black, but I fall into the subgroup Central Asian. One of the bullies directly told he hated me because I was Jewish, and he went beserk because I called him a racist piece of s***. I did not get in trouble since the director was worried what me and my mom could do since my mom was threateninig to have her and the para invesitgated for discrimination.



My mom eventually after tireously advocating to put me in a new school and even hiring a lawyer to advocate for me, I was put in a special needs school, but even there because of my anti-discriminatory flexing my rights, some staff knew my weaknesses and what made me angry to the point of property destruction and that was being blamed and punished for something I didn't do. Some staff liked blaming me for things that other students did, and would even punish me for it! I always tried to teach them a lesson by punching holes in walls or tipping over water coolers. I did those things intentionally, and also through venting my frustrations of discrimination, that the crap I went through in previous school wasn't going to fly here.

I never became violent towards any staff member, but there was one incident where a staff, thinking I said something inappropriate to him, pushed me to the floor and kicked me and I responded by picking up a chair and hurling it at him.

I gained a reputation in that school that said, if you try to make a scapegoat out of me, I will skin you alive.

I also began to be a fierce advocate for students who otherwise couldn't defend themselves and as someone with autism myself, I gave staff a list of do's and dont's to help prevent misunderstandings and meltdowns in people with autism.

Today, I am attending a community college in New York city with a major in environmental science, I plan on getting my degree, but also taking some extra classes, especially calculus and physics at the community college to save $ since the school is out of state and is very expensive, even though it is a state school. Because I cannot multitask by taking too many classes at once, to maintain a good G.P.A. hopefully get a scholarship or grant, I am taking 2-3 classes per semester instead of the recommended 4-5 classes.

My indented major is Broadcast Meteorology at Mississippi State University. plan on gonig there when I finish all the classes available at that college here in NYC, I will likely transfer there in spring of 2019 or fall of 2020. I started college in spring of 2013, it may take me 10 years to get my career major, but I hope it will be worth it and I will get hired by a news station to do meteorology on television.

It is a miracle I made it this far. I wasn't even supposed to get a a local High School Diploma, but I was suppsoed ot get an I.E.P. Diploma, but becuase of my insistence that I want top go to college and become a meteorologist, the school staff at the boarding school decided to tutor me one on one. The staff there who bullied me where residential, not the school staff, as the school staff are more cultured and educated.

Because of these wonderful staff, I ended up not only getting my local high school diploma, but I pushed the envelope, and got a regent's high school diploma!

I got my diploma at age 21. Had it not been for the bullying, it is likely I would have graduated high school at 18 with my diploma and been close to getting my degree by now. But, let this be a lesson to you, if people are trampling over your rights, you need to fight back and fight back hard like how we are fighting back against trump's bigotry.

#Proudtobeanaspie #Proudtobeautistic

Unfortunately, the bullied getting punished while bullies get away with it and even praised as nice guys is all too common. I do not know how you had the willpower not to meltdown more often. I am glad you got through it and I am looking forward to reading, hearing, or seeing your forecasts in the future.

I am proud of your persistence in getting your Regent's diploma despite all the bullying.

I am also proud that you were able not to let the bullying affect your future prospects.

Special Ed in NYC sucks!

Boy, you sure have been through a lot of crap in your school. I'm impressed with how well you stood up for yourself!

TLDR.

I was also punished for being bullied and then my school wanted to put me into a behavior program because I kept acting out due to the bullying and the unfairness which my mom calls anxiety. I think the other kids and me trying to be normal is what led me to an AS diagnoses. The school staff never wanted to do anything about the bullies and them provoking me or egging me to do things. In the real world if I had begged someone to break into someone's house and take something from them, I would be facing charges too but that is not what happened in my school. But what if I had made my husband go outside naked and he got arrested, would I get arrested too because I told him to do it and made him?

But I was never good at standing up for myself. When I tried, no one listened and I still got into trouble. Just years of ignoring it I couldn't do it anymore. I even tried walking away and they would follow me. There was a boy in my self contained room who was a pathological liar so he got me and other kids into trouble but it was nothing personal because he did it to everyone so it was all random. One time he scribbled over his own math problem and told the teacher I did it and she believed him and I got time out for the rest of toy time. Another time on the playground, we were both playing on the slide and then he said I had hit him when I didn't even touch him so he slid down the slide and told the duty lady and I got put on the wall for it for the rest of recess. Another time another kid in my class was playing with the plastic thing the school always had on the walls on the edges and he was pulling on it and he let go and it slapped the liar boy in the arm and he said I had hit him so he told our classroom aide and she made me stay behind. But a year later I got my accidental revenge on him. I was going back to class and he happened to be behind me so I was going by a classroom when I decided to open the door and close it and open it and close it and I ran back in my spot. The teacher opens it and goes "Excuse me, Russell" and he goes "it wasn't me, it was her" but she doesn't believe him and I keep on walking letting him get the blame. I don't feel guilty about it because of what he had put me through the year before and has made me cry because of the unfairness and he has pinched me and said I was cussing when I told our teacher and he has cost me my toy time and cost me my recess and cost me from going to class with them. But I know he didn't target me because he did it to everyone in my class. Who knows what his problem was. I am surprised I even survived it but my anxiety wasn't bad then. I just developed low tolerance is all maybe from years of abuse and unfairness so I got sick of it and started snapping.

I was also given an aid by 6th grade and that was so embarrassing but in 7th grade I embraced it because it protected me from other kids.