Aspie dating an NT

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For the aspies dating NTs or the NTs dating aspies, what has your experience been and what ways have you found to efficiently communicate? I am currently dating a extroverted NT (not sure how that happened lol) and love my relationship, just curious as to other people experiences with those two worlds colliding

i have been immensely relieved to discover that the most effective way to communicate with my extroverted, NT significant other (who is just over two years younger then me), is just to say what i want to say. my previous attempts to extend the life of a relationship by cushioning my words in case of an outburst only led to being cryptic and harder to understand, hampering communication. she can take sometimes "brutal" honesty better than i first thought, and that is very important.

being open about ones needs and preferences is vital, and she has never objected or ridiculed. i get along with her family fairly well (i had thanksgiving with them), but her grandfathers dementia can be a challenge sometimes, for the two of us. from what i can see, she doesn't seem to mind that i have no other "IRL" friends i can hang out with, whereas she has many, some of those relationships are more stable than others. i feel fortunate that she trusts me enough to talk to me whenever she has a falling out with someone else.

she does worry about my happiness and loneliness...i tell her i'm alright, and she seems to buy it.

I'm an NT and my partner is an Aspie. We've been together for 12 years so far.

A few of the things I have learned over the years:

I say exactly what I think. I don't make hints or subtle suggestions. I just say it. Otherwise he won't get it.

I keep a calendar and keep important dates on it and check it daily and remind him of anything he needs to remember. He won't remember on his own. He doesn't have very good executive function and he won't even think to look at a calendar as a reminder.

If he's in the middle of a project that's important to him, I let him be. He can't focus on more than one thing at once and it bothers him to be interrupted.

Sharp or intense, overpowering smells bother him, so I make sure to run the fan if I'm cooking something smelly, like onions or garlic.

If he says something that's rude, I just tell him "That was inappropriate," or "That was hurtful." And he'll apologize and not do it again.

I guess most importantly, I don't expect him to be anything other than what he is.

Hey Kiprobalhato,
I am learning with my extroverted NT that when I have previously attempted to cushion what I say like I do with most people it leads to confusion or I come off as being wishy washy or dishonest. I am starting to understand that going for the way I naturally communicate actually works more efficiently. I guess its a step by step process. Effective communication seems to be the biggest thing to work on in aspie NT relationships. Especially when your NT is not used to interacting with aspies

I smell a sitcom!

I married an NT over 12 years ago.

We communicate mostly in text.

I am an NT, and I've been with my wonderful boyfriend for almost 8 months. We have finally gotten to the point where our communication seems to happen flawlessly, in most areas. We are just very direct and open with each other. If I don't understand something he says, I ask him what he means, and I tell him things clearly without hinting. Sometimes, I need to drag out of him, what he wants from me, because he is a giver by nature, and isn't use to being given to, so we are working on that. We have worked through a lot of hurtals, so as a result, we feel that we are closer than most couples with two Neurotipical people. We always like to say that we just do things different from the rest, unconventionally, and we like it that way!

Well my relationship of about a year and a half is failing. We don't communicate well. He gets loud and aggressive and I just become mute. And after that he yells at me for ignoring him. No matter how much I explain to him how I function he just doesn't listen or get it. He is also a very affectionate and touchy person. I hate being touched. It's not fun for me.

I'm sure I am not meant to be with a NT.

has anything happened when/if you tried to become equally as loud yourself, or is that too uncomfortable for you?

One thing I've definitely learned through dating an NT is too not expect them to know what autism is and how to handle it. Realisticly a person won't look into autism until they know someone with it and even then each aspie is very different.

You have to learn to identify your own issues and be able to convey them to your partner. Luckily if your partner is patient you get lots of practive

the only person i'm comfortable screaming at is my sister and sometimes my dad.

with all others, it's a struggle enough just to get the words out because i have no idea what to say. and i only make myself look more foolish.

I've been dating an NT since Halloween. Experience to date: So far so good.. it's not an official thing, but so far so good. He has his reasons for not wanting to put a label on "us" as a relationship yet & I'm ok with it. So, the plan is we carry on dating one another just as we have been and let time sort things out.

Re: Efficient communication... well, at first I considered smoke signals or morse code, but since we're both fluent in English as our first language we've sort of defaulted to using English w/o even discussing it first!

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