Does being afraid of sex count as asexual?

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neptunekh
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09 Feb 2017, 10:19 am

I'm pansexual but at the same I'm afraid sex. Does that count as asexual?

TheAP
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09 Feb 2017, 10:38 am

No, I think asexual is only when you don't feel sexual attraction.

sweetperfume
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11 Feb 2017, 5:35 pm

I think it depends. There could be an underlying cause for your fear that's not asexuality, or it could be that you're a sex-repulsed panromantic asexual who just thinks the whole idea of sex is strange.

kraftiekortie
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15 Feb 2017, 8:25 am

I used to get horny when I was, say, 14. But the whole idea of actual intercourse used to scare me then.

There was never any doubt in my mind that I am NOT asexual.

AnonymousAnonymous
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16 Feb 2017, 8:05 pm

Some people who identify themselves as asexual {or "ace" for short} do have sex, but AP is right.

Asexuality is when one does not experience any sexual attraction.

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iliketrees
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17 Feb 2017, 12:54 am

If you want sex despite being afraid of it, no.

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:

do have sex
...
does not experience any sexual attraction

I don't get this, why would you have sex if you don't have any sexual attraction? It'd be like a straight guy only having sex with guys despite not having any attraction, just plain odd.

TheAP
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17 Feb 2017, 7:52 pm

^They might do it to please a partner.

iliketrees
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18 Feb 2017, 1:40 am

TheAP wrote:

^They might do it to please a partner.

But asexuals don't experience attraction so it'd make no sense to have a partner, would it? If there was a man who had a male partner and only had sex with men, is that man straight? If there is someone having sex with a partner, is that person asexual? If yes to the above, just how? If only to the second, what's the difference I'm missing?

Kiprobalhato
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18 Feb 2017, 2:34 am

iliketrees wrote:

I don't get this, why would you have sex if you don't have any sexual attraction? It'd be like a straight guy only having sex with guys despite not having any attraction, just plain odd.

the person have a strictly scientific interest in the physical process (for...whatever reason) or is primarily concerned with conceiving. which might be more likely.

iliketrees wrote:

i'd guess the difference has to do with the amount of pleasure derived form the act if any, and what kind of pleasure it is.

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mpe
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18 Feb 2017, 6:14 am

iliketrees wrote:

TheAP wrote:

^They might do it to please a partner.

But asexuals don't experience attraction so it'd make no sense to have a partner, would it?

Asexuals don't experience sexual attraction which is only one a number of types of attraction humans experience.
Something of the order of 80%+ of asexuals are alloromantic and thus desire romantic relationships.

There's also the twist that "asexual" actually means not desiring sexual relationships, rather than not desiring sex.
Things like low libido, fear of sex or sex replusion can just as easily apply to allosexuals.
On the other hand someone can be asexual whilst, also, having a high libido or greatly enjoying sex.

iliketrees
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19 Feb 2017, 2:18 am

Quote:

Asexuals don't experience sexual attraction

Quote:

"asexual" actually means not desiring sexual relationships

How the f**k do these combine with this?

mpe wrote:

asexual whilst, also, having a high libido

So what, there are people who don't feel sexual attraction and don't want a sexual relationship, but want sex? How is that not a contradiction?

TheAP
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21 Feb 2017, 8:23 am

iliketrees wrote:

Quote:

Asexuals don't experience sexual attraction

Quote:

"asexual" actually means not desiring sexual relationships

How the f**k do these combine with this?

mpe wrote:

asexual whilst, also, having a high libido

So what, there are people who don't feel sexual attraction and don't want a sexual relationship, but want sex? How is that not a contradiction?

They might have a high urge to masturbate or watch porn, but not desire sex with anyone else.

kraftiekortie
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21 Feb 2017, 8:30 am

These people who masturbate/watch porn have sexual desires, but not the desire for sex with somebody:

I don't find these folks to be "asexual."

TheAP
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21 Feb 2017, 8:38 am

^Well, the commonly accepted definition of asexual says that they are.

kraftiekortie
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21 Feb 2017, 8:39 am

All right. I'll have to accept that, then.

But what would you call a person who has no sexual desire, whatsoever?

TheAP
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21 Feb 2017, 8:39 am

Non-libidoist asexual.

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