Help me figure out situation with a friend.

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I seemed to get on really well with a guy I met in work a few years ago, which is rare as I have Aspergers Syndrome. He was very chatty, easy to talk to, he'd complement me, tell me I was his favourite and buy me lunch, etc. We had similar tastes in movies and went to the cinema a few times.

Lately it feels like something has changed. He's not as talkative or friendly with me, and he spends more time with this other guy, who he treats the same way he used to treat me.

I can't figure out whether he just made a new friend, and now his attention is just divided between us. I have other friends too, so I'd understand that.

Or he's gotten bored of me and decided he prefers this other person. He said he's still my friend, but he might just be saying that to spare my feelings. It feels awkward when he speaks to me now because I'm wondering if he's just doing it out of pity. But if I ignore him I come across as rude.

How can I figure out what is going on without coming across as a needy creep?

I have a question which may sound extreme here but:

Was he always talking about the other employees behind their backs? If he was doing that, then be careful because he could have just latched himself onto you so he could find out about your flaws so he can gossip about you.

I had a similar situation that happened to me 8 years ago where another female worker who pulled something similar. I found out that she said all kind of nasty things about me behind my back along with lying about me.

However, you could invite him out for coffee to find out why he's not as interested in you.

I have a friend like that. See moved to another town and met new people and as she's married started hanging out with her other couple friends more.

We are still friends, but not close friends. It's ok that she gets on with them better. They have more in common. That does doesn't mean we don't like each other any more, it's just life. Things change. Circumstances change.

We see each other less often now, but when we meet up we talk away like nothing has changed. We're still friends, but in a different way now that we ate older.

He gossips about people sometimes, but other people have told me he only says nice things about me.

I think I'd feel a bit weird asking him directly, though he has assured me we're still friends. But I worry he's lying to spare my feelings.

Yes, I just have to get past this jealousy, and accept the fact he has more in common with other people.

I'vehad similar feelings about my friends as well, even when nothing about our relationship has changed! I just straight up asked my friend we he hung out with me once, told him that I feel like people just hang out with me out of pity. I told home that I could take it if that was the case and to just be honest with me. He told me that the reason he spends time with me and others in our friend group is because - get ready for this - he likes spending time with us! He said that if he didn't like hanging out with me and my other friends, then he wouldn't, simple as that. I'd like to think most "normal" people operate this way. As long you guys still find the time to hang out, even if it's less than before, and you both are having fun, I think it's safe to say he's still interested in being your friend.

I'vehad similar feelings about my friends as well, even when nothing about our relationship has changed! I just straight up asked my friend we he hung out with me once, told him that I feel like people just hang out with me out of pity. I told home that I could take it if that was the case and to just be honest with me. He told me that the reason he spends time with me and others in our friend group is because - get ready for this - he likes spending time with us! He said that if he didn't like hanging out with me and my other friends, then he wouldn't, simple as that. I'd like to think most "normal" people operate this way. As long you guys still find the time to hang out, even if it's less than before, and you both are having fun, I think it's safe to say he's still interested in being your friend.

I've wondered for a while now if he could be a narcissist.

He is extremely entitled, believing he doesn't have to follow the normal rules, and gets annoyed when other people break them because he thinks they're undeserving.

He brags constantly about his appearance, etc.

He cannot tolerate criticism and blew up when someone got promoted over him.

He comes across as extremely charismatic, and used to give me lots of attention. But I'm worried that was an act to exert control (narcissists need you to feel like you need them), and it kind of worked.

I read somewhere that narcissists appear extremely attractive (as friends or more) at first due to their confidence and entitlement. But as time goes on those traits become annoying and people pull away.

That is very much a possibility as well. I would be wary If that's the vibe you get from him. I'm not for assuming about people, but those kind of traits are difficult to hide.

I knew upon reading your post that this guy wasn't much of a friend, to begin with. Real friends would meet others but continue to treat you in the same fashion while welcoming the new person. He sounds really fickle and shallow to me if he is only going to be your friend until the next person comes along.

Do you want him as your friend? I know he hurt your feelings but from your last posting, he sounds horrible.
1.He's drama
2. He's immature and doesn't want to grow up
3. He's prideful

So I think it's a blessing that you don't have to put up with any more of his childish behaviors.

As I said, I worked with someone very much like that who pulled the same crap on me years ago. When the new person came, they started talking to them and ignoring me. When I would join in the conversation, my head would get bitten off. They also seemed to get really quiet around certain people at work. I found out later that they were convincing these people that they hated me and that I had lied to everyone about us being friends.

They were also very touchy like that and would blow up easily.

I know what you're saying, but I so badly want to believe we really were friends because he made me feel really good about myself in the beginning. It's hard for me to let go.

But part of me wonders whether he was trying to manipulate me by always being nice. Or maybe he is a genuinely nice guy and I'm a terrible person for thinking otherwise.

No you aren't a terrible person but rather there is something wrong with him. Please also note that most people are not capable of being good friends.