Psychologist doesn't think I have aspergers.

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Hey guys, first time poster. I'm actually really nervous about this, but I'll do my best.

For the past few months, upon suspicion of close friends and talking with my therapist about issues I have in daily life, I was assumed to have Aspergers or some form of Autism. I have great difficulty in social environments, eye contact, and understanding people's emotions and actions in general. I have "meltdowns" frequently. Certain noises will cause me to completely freak out, and I often have a "tingly" sensation mostly in my arms and back, but sometimes all over, and sometimes enough to where it hurts. My head feels clouded a lot of the time, and I feel as if though I can only see things in a "black and white" manner, meaning, either one extreme or another extreme. I'm sure there's some things I haven't listed, but I hope you can see where I'm getting at.
Anyhoo, I have expressed concern to my therapist, and she directed me to a psychologist. The psychologist she wanted me to see was not the person I ended up seeing, which caused a bit of stress for me. However, the man I did end up meeting with, while seeming friendly at first, I feel as if though he didn't understand me at all.
I was seated in a room, and I brought my mother along with me. I was then handed a bunch of papers and asked to fill them out. After glancing over them, I realized it was just general questionnaire.
About 1/3 of the way through the papers, the psychologist comes in. He sits down and asks me why I'm there, and I tell him that people have noticed behaviours in me that seem related to AS, and that I've been concerned about it for a while now. He begins asking me questions, and I answer accordingly, telling him what I mentioned above, among other things. About maybe 45 minutes in, he leaves for a bit, comes back, and asks if I'm done with my questionnaire/paperwork. I finish up and hand them over, and he sits back down and glances over them for maybe 15 seconds, and puts them on a table. (There was about maybe 10 or so pages he would've had to look over.)
He then leaves for about 1 minute, and comes back and explains to me that he thinks I have social anxiety and OCD.
Honestly, I was a bit dumbfounded. I ask him why he thinks I don't have a form of AS, simply out of curiosity, and he replies with, "Well, you're too aware to have Autism."
Again, I am completely dumbfounded. Perhaps I am just delusional, but I feel like the whole assessment was a bit rushed. My therapist and I have talked about the possibility of AS, and she even went as far to say that she "definitely thinks I'm somewhere on the spectrum," as she has friends with Aspergers, and works with other people who have a similar diagnosis.
I'm honestly just so stressed and confused, and I'd really like to know what other people think about this.
Thank you for reading.

I think even a lot of mental health professionals don't have a good understanding of Autism. Last year I saw a psychiatrist who seemed to think I'm probably not Autistic, simply based on the fact that I got through school without being in special ed. Luckily, she was still willing to refer me somewhere that dealt specifically with neuropsych issues. I'm now seeing a neuropsychiatrist who works just with adults on the spectrum and he seems to think that I'm probably Autistic. My therapist seems to be of the same opinion as well.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't be afraid to get a second opinion.

My last psychologist was like that. I stayed with him for a few years, though, because I thought he could at least help my anxiety and depression, and because he was a nice guy...Now I have my therapy and my med provider both at the same autism center. Best choice for my mental health.

Trust me, unless a mental health professional is trained in diagnosing and recognizing autism and is good at it (which means they don't have a narrow, general or just stereotypical view of autism) they won't be able to recognize it in you if you're on the mild end of the spectrum!

It's my experience with my second therapist. While my first therapist recognized it (but did not make an official diagnosis cause she's not into making official, written diagnoses), the second therapist dismissed it by asking only ONE question. Only ONE question was enough for her to rule it out! I couldn't believe it! She didn't take it seriously at all, so she acted very unprofessional in this case. And you just don't laugh when a patient brings up a possible diagnosis or something! And is asking just ONE stupid question professional diagnosis? No, it's just BS.

So, trust me, general therapists usually just won't recognize it. My first therapist admitted how most therapists don't know much about it and how misunderstood the whole spectrum is.
I will eventually see someone specialized in ASD, cause general therapists usually don't have a clue. Trust me, personal experience and many people on the spectrum can confirm. This is how we so often go undiagnosed (at least not officially) for DECADES before someone knowledgeable comes to our aid.

SmallBun, you aren't delusional, you just had an incompetent psychologist. I was told by an equally incompetent psychiatrist once that I couldn't have autism because "I articulate myself well". That statement along with several other errors she made that I indentified during the appointment allowed me to understand that this psychiatrist's professional opinion was worthless. She told me that it was just social anxiety and OCD. She also tried to claim that no one else in this $550 million state of the art mental health hospital assessed nor worked with adults on the autism spectrum. This turned out to be entirely false as there was a developmental diagnosis clinic just one floor up, which had specialists that specialize in doing just that. That same clinic is where the neuropsychiatrist who I would meet just 1 year later diagnosed me with ASD level 2. Fortunately I knew for a longtime that it was more than just social anxiety or OCD or BPD or ADHD as I had suspected I was on the spectrum for years and ignored what the first psychiatrist had to say because she didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

A couple months later went to psychologytoday's website, checked their database for psychologists in my area and called them up one by one to ask if they specialized in assessing adults on the autism spectrum. If they said no, I would ask if they know someone who did. Eventually I found out about an autism clinic in a neighbouring city where they specialized in assessing and working with adults on the autism spectrum. I saw the assessor for 3 x 1 hour appointments, did an interview, answered tons of questions in the form of questionnaires, providing specific life examples for about 90% of them. The assessor also interviewed my mom on the phone for about 30 minutes, then on the final appointment I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. Mind you that this was just 3 months after this original psychiatrist who was incompetent and wrote r/o autism in my chart because she obviously has no experience with autism and doesn't know what she is doing.

A year later I participated in a clinical trial of an autism drug and as part of the screening process I had the most extensive autism testing available, including the ADOS-2, ~7 hours of meeting with an autism assesor, a psychiatric nurse, a neuropsychiatrist(not just an ordinary Jo blow run of the mill psychiatrist), that I had interviews consisting of various activities with and went over in depth my medical and developmental history. The autism asessor interviewed my mom with two 3+ hour phone long conversations. A week later I was diagnosed with ASD level 2.

Mind you that a few doctors in the past prior to being formally assessed agreed I was on the autism spectrum but never sent me off to be assessed. So don't give up, press on. If you feel strongly you are on the autism spectrum the more you research it and you feel it is more than "just social anxiety and OCD", then find someone who specializes in assessing adults on the autism spectrum including high functioning adults as well as specific experience assessing females on the spectrum because females can present differently than males on the spectrum and may be harder to diagnose. One thing to remember, doctors/health professionals in general tend to f**k up the most when they are not listening. If you feel your doctor/psychologist is not listening to you, dump them and find someone who will.

A proper assessment of autism involves taking several tests specifically designed to test for autism and related conditions, clinical observation, looking at school records, structured interview with your parents about your childhood. I saw none of that in your description of your assessment. Your assessment was a very basic general assessment that was worthless for diagnosing autism.

Go try and find an Autism specialist who has knowledge of Autism presentation in young adult females. It may not be easy but we can help you with that.

Welcome to Wrong Planet

Wow, thank you so much guys for all the replies. I feel a bit better about the situation and I'm definitely going to find a specialist. I honestly didn't know that it was harder to diagnose girls, nor did I know that it would such a pain to get a diagnosis. Either way, I'm hopeful.

Just like Doctors, Lawyers it is often a good idea to get second and third opinions.
You may need to go privately, or out of state. Try to find an AS specialist if you can.

What a horrible feeling to have someone invalidate your very experience of life. I know that feeling all too well and I'll say what everyone else is saying... find a specialist!! Other professionals in the Psych field don't know enough about ASD and if they do, they tend to only know about the stereotypical male traits, often associated with immature 8 year old boys. Girls are overlooked entirely. A specialist will be able to help you feel understood and supported. I'm going through the very same thing. Don't worry, you'll find what you're looking for. You've put yourself out there and now you have to continue taking action until you find what you're seeking. The Universe has your back!!

You need someone who specialises.

My son's paediatric psychiatrist told us he can't be autistic because he has good eye contact and good verbal skills This is utter rubbish of course, but he isn't a specialist in autism.

Don't worry yourself, just keep searching until you find someone who knows their stuff. I saw a psychologist who specialises in assessing women because our autism presents differently to the men and we're often more able to present as social.