"hard to get"

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What is so damn appealing about people that are "hard to get," or are at least playing hard to get? I don't see how that works, actually witnessed it from the opposite side of the ball the other night. (I don't think I've ever considered myself even remotely appearing hard to get... so I was confused as hell when I thought about this later.) I was at a friend's place, drinking (heavily.) I don't have much recollection of the evening. In fact, when they came to my place (walking distance) to see if I wanted to play beer pong I was already passed out on the floor. Like my usual self, after a couple times of them asking I hopped up and got to it.

Somehow, at the end of the night (I say somehow because I don't really remember...) it was down to just me and her talking. For some reason I was upset, when I woke up my glasses gave the appearance that I had cried some, I really don't remember any of it. The only thing I remember was a couple times saying "I should go" and her saying she wanted me to stay. Why? I'm pretty sure she also flat out told me she was interested in a friend of mine. If so, why keep asking me to stay? All we did was sleep in the same bed, so nothing all that much, but I still don't get why exactly she asked me to stay, multiple times, after I said I should go. Is that the whole "hard to get" thing? Or was it just pity? Or was it something else? I just can't figure it out. Normally I can't figure something out in the moment, but might manage to figure it out later after some thinking on it. This time I can't figure it out at all.

(I'm also not sure why I did decide to stay, that was a bit out of character, but that's a story for another day, possibly never.)

That could mean either she was playing hard to get or just wanted company or thought well since hes here, I'll hang with him and use his company.

That kind of things confuses me too. I have no idea what it means or how it works. That could have been what she was doing though... I really don't know though. People are strange.

She might wanted u to stay to try to say well stay now to make u think u will get some, but then in her mind will be saying i just want to lead him on, which is another way of playing hard to get..

bah, she should know by now that "getting some" is not a top priority for me. There's a pattern of me saying that it isn't that important. I don't know, maybe she doesn't believe me? Not that it much matters, I've got a great tendency of locking up after this kind of thing happens. Some amount of progress seems to be made, in some odd way or another, then I'm just at a loss for words. I don't know what I'm "supposed" to do now, and (especially) since I'm the guy, it is somehow on me to do something next.

WHere's the manual for this stupidity...

Well some girls don't care what your top priority is, some care what theres are. I don't know if shes playing hard to get, she might have just wanted company, Its hard to say since I wasn't there watching haha which would have been akward haha.

People always want what they can't get (the "grass is greener" syndrome). Which is why playing hard to get is so effective.

I agree with what most of everyone has been saying.
Maybe she knew you were drinking & wanted to take advatage of you, given the fact alcohol slows people's minds.

Or she may have been lonely & wanted your company.

>she should know by now that "getting some" is not a top priority for me. There's a pattern of me >saying that it isn't that important. I don't know, maybe she doesn't believe me?

It could be as simple as her wanting company. However, I am a non-aspie woman, and I can tell you that it's quite possible that she sees your statements that "getting some" is not a priority as a challenge. As in, it never has been that important to you in the past, but she will be the one to change all that. With her, it will be different. That can be quite an ego-gratifying thing for some women. And I'd be willing to bet that she doesn't believe you. Chances are she has never ever met a guy for whom that wasn't important.

I'm not saying I'm definitely right about this (nor am I saying it makes sense), but I've witnessed it. And there are men who pretend to be not all that interested in "getting some" just to get women.

Probably one of the most frustrating things about dating, from an Aspie perspective. Sometimes I don't even know I'm in the game, and when I am in the game, I get frustrated because I don't know the rules. Dating is hard enough without playing stupid games.

Hard to get pisses me off. If you act like you're not interested in me, guess what? I'm gonna take it like you're not interested me and I'll be on my way. If you get pissed because I didn't get that you were playing hard to get, blame yourself and next time be honest and up front with me. :\

I have no idea how to be anything but.
Any reasonable man, in my circumstances,
would have made some move - but when
I tried, I screwed it all up. I'm interested
as all get, but I can't seem to help but give
the wrong signals.

I have completely given up on the game.
And im a lot happier for it.

I wait for that stage until THEY'VE made up
my mind.