I need help

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I'm undiagnosed Asperger's, soon to hopefully be diagnosed in the coming weeks. I desperately need help with my anger. I've always had an anger problem but I never knew what caused it, nor could I get out of the funk for days or weeks if someone made me mad. My boyfriend (diagnosed HFA or HSA) does his best and really does help, but I can't shake the fact that certain things he says (everyone else too, it's just him I'm mentioning because it's affecting our living situation) really get to me.
I really need tips you guys use to manage anger instead of hurting yourself. My upbringing made me hide everything about myself that I essentially forgot who I was, and it's only been the past couple weeks that I've been "forced" (for the better) to relive my past and realize that I need to learn to manage it. I don't want to ruin my relationship but I'm so damn lost, it's been a strange couple weeks for me and I feel disgustingly vulnerable and I feel like I'm lashing at him because of that. I've been trying to work things out in my head and it gets pushed on him. That being said, I also don't know how to not care what people say.
I'd really appreciate any help or tips....I'm desperate. I can hold my anger until it just comes out in spurts and I have no other way to fix the confusion and pain until I hurt myself and I need to do better than that. I need to try. How do you channel your anger?? Any other tips for how to help this damn confusion all the time? I'm not used to any of this and I want to be able to accept myself and move forward in our relationship. Thanks everybody...

Do you have something which interests you greatly?

I have found that "taking a vacation" from one's self is beneficial. Instead of thinking about your failings, pursue that special interest. Make sure, though, that it doesn't interfere with your responsibilities.

Hopefully, you can also do stuff with your boyfriend....like taking in a movie. And going out for ice cream or something.

We spend a lot of our time together, pretty well all of it. I know I unfortunately tend to feel bombarded and overwhelmed if I can't take some 'me time'. Maybe that's all it is. I thought I was taking enough time for myself, but I will try more. I've been thinking about taking walks lately, it will help get me out of the house.

As for the interests, I do have things that interest me, I just find it very hard to not procrastinated and to find motivation. I try not to sulk, but everything feels negative to me. I'll try taking the 'me time' and see of my mood improves.

Thank you for your help