How do you know if you're ready for a relationship?

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Getting a girlfriend has been a very hard thing. I don't interact with girls much nor do I go on too many dates (my last date I went on was last July with someone that I accidentally gave mixed signals to). I don't get very far with girls either with the longest seeing a girl for a month until they drop me from their lives. I'm probably doing a lot of wrong things and at this point, am I really ready for a relationship. Are there any quizzes to determine if I'm ready? Also I need some guidelines on how to not f**k up and accidentally come off too strong or be too touchy.

The best thing to do is not take "quizzes."

It's to talk to a woman nicely, find out what she's interested in. And listen to what she's says, even if the "interest" is somewhat "mundane."

Also, on dates, talk about your family--that's always an icebreaker.

Take her out to movies. That gives you an ironclad thing to talk about.

Everyone is as ready for a relationship as they need to be, just decide.

Not trying to me a jerk or anything but I honestly think it's the complete opposite. Nobody's ready for a relationship, you just gotta accept that it's gonna be a HUGE change and a lot of good and bad can come out of it if your not careful. Just gotta find someone you really click with, so you don't live a lie....

I've learned a lot about my self from every relationship I've ever been in. Most of these "life lessons" were tough, but I came out a better person each time I got hurt. You'll grow confidence either way though and if you've never been in one, I think you should just go out of your comfort zone and do it. Worst case, you get hurt and grow a spine and some needed experience...best case you find the love of your life.....I think you should totally get yourself out there bud!

My sister and brother-in-law recently told me I am not ready for a relationship because I don't have a career and I have problems keeping and maintaining friends. It doesn't matter anyway because I seem to be having a hard time approaching girls and I seem to be driven more toward working on music (like I always am DJing, learning how to produce beats, and working on marketing all in one day daily). I wish I could come to the conclusion that you are never ready for a relationship but I can't seem to come to that conclusion at all myself. There's always a fear of coming off the wrong way when approaching a cute girl.

You can't predict the right way of approaching a cute girl, or any girl - for each is individual just as you are. So you might as well have a plan and start trying.

Then revise the plan and keep trying.

If you're a deejay, there will always be a certain of girl who likes you.

It's a great thing being a deejay. It takes talent (which I don't have).

I wish I was a deejay.

I would continue with the creative stuff.

One day, some girl will appreciate it.

Two often stated ideas that I agree with:

- You shouldn't be emotionally dependent on another person. Don't place too much of your self-worth on finding someone, being in a relationship, or the current state of it.

- Be financially dependent, or at least able to contribute a fair amount should you live together.
(This one is iffy in the aftermath of the "Great Recession" and current economy though)

We'll see. These days I try not to think of things in those terms because I did that with dancing and that's probably why I stopped (well... That and also not liking the career direction and it's options). Anyway, everytime I do music, I don't think about girls and wanting a girlfriend so at least that works. I anyways gotta keep busy to not think about why I don't have a girlfriend. It creates that situation of not "looking for a relationship" and "letting things come to me".

I hear number 1 all the time everytime I ask questions on quora and on here. Truth is I don't know s**t about dating and/or women. For me, it's not about putting self-worth or anything, it's about keeping someone around for at least a year or 2 in my life or something and making sure I don't f**k up.

All my life I've been getting into trouble with girls (from preschool to now). Whether it was inappropriate touching, stalking, staring, being creepy, etc. I just want preventative measures to make sure I don't mess up and so far, I seem to be good at not inappropriately touching folks and all the other stuff I did from grade school to high school. Now I just need to talk to them and make it appear like it "happened without me pursuing" and as if I "least expected it".

What are the changes anyway? So far I have seen that everytime someone I know is in a relationship, I never hear from that person again. I just sit around and wait for them to come back when they're no longer in a relationship and me and the friends come together again.

Hate all the emotions and stuff that occur when thinking about girls and relationships. I'm just gonna watch some porn to reduce these triggers

Dude sounds like you got some deeper issues at hand, than not being "ready" for a relationship. If you gotta watch yourself because of inappropriate touching, staring etc than you probably should see a therapist to help you with your inappropriate urges...In this case I guess I would have to admit you probably not ready for a relationship. Why would you think it's ok to fondle a women? (or anyone for that matter)

Agreed - strive for balance first. Anytime you use the word 'hate' towards a topic or subject, it will be reflected in any interaction or thought towards that topic or subject. Don't even think about a relationship until you get ride of the hatred and can actually respect another individual.

Yeah, that's the case. I'll try and get help. What do I do about this girl that I have a crush on anyway that I see at this spot I frequent? Should I still talk to her anyway? How do I get my mind off of thinking about a relationship? I keep telling myself I won't look for girlfriend but I keep going out with the guise of looking for someone (at a dive bar, video game bar near me etc.). I'm trying to keep busy with all my music projects, figuring out more friends to make that will be beneficial to my music career and interests. What else should I stay busy with to avoid thinking about relationships when I'm not ready for them? Porn isn't helping me stay distracted from thinking about relationships like it used to.

Last edited by HenryGramer on 07 Mar 2017, 5:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.