Self-loathing after social interactions

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Every time I interact with someone socially, I just sort of hate myself afterwards. Hate is a strong word, and I don't really mean it like that, but you get the idea.. I don't know if this is caused by anxiety, but I obsess over every little detail that I think might have been weird, wrong, etc. I often think stuff like "why did I do that", "why did i say that" or "they probably don't like me".

It sort of makes sense to me though, because due to aspergers, social interactions are obviously difficult. So by noticing everything that went wrong, my brain probably thinks it'll improve next time. But I'm just tired of feeling so bad about myself, every single day (almost).

Anyone else who feels this way? what should i do?
I guess I could just completely stop caring what people think of me, but I don't want to do that, because then I worry I might upset my friends or someone, and not even care.

I feel that often, and I've started trying to change it. However, I don't see not caring as the way forward.

The issue is what psychologists call self-talk. Both of us have the kind of self talk that causes problems in the long run. Rather than mercilessly critiquing ourselves, we could speak to ourselves as helpful counselors.

It's healthy to spend some time reflecting on social encounters, since we can probably figure out a lot of what others understand instinctively.

I see what you mean but why hate yourself for it? - it's not your fault, it's not like you've done something bad

I sometimes feel sad when I think in hindsight about how I acted (or didn't act) towards someone but that just makes me want to try harder next time

I thought had outgrown this, but it turns out I was just more isolated. Now that I'm working again, I'm having these overwhelming thoughts too. Ignore it and get on with your day as best as possible, that's what I try to remind myself. It's really no big deal and what's done is done.

@ OP: Feeling awful socially interacting with someone is {and never will be} your fault.

I also have this problem whenever I interact with people too. Sometimes it is because of a-holes I try to make conversation with and in some instances, it is because I feel isolated and rejected even by those who I have known for some time now.

What you could do is to keep a journal and write down all the daily instances where you interact with someone, regardless if the interaction is good or bad.

I do a lot of self-loathing too.

Of course we make mistakes. Everyone does. Of course, we tend to make more outrageous mistakes because of our relative inexperience. But, most NTs have short memories, so if you don't make make a big deal of your mistakes or constantly remind folks more than likely they will just forget them.

Most social interactions go OK but I do need to work on some of my responses. I act nervous, like laugh nervously and go "yeah!" a lot when responding to humour. It's not that I don't get humour, because I do, and I enjoy a joke especially at work, but my responses are just dumb.

I've made more social blunders in the last week or so than I usually do, but I think it's due to being under stress at work. I've been coming out with stupid things, or being too argumentative with my boss, which isn't like me normally.

So yeah I've been finding myself calling myself a tosser a lot lately, for the stupid things I say. Each time I make any social blunder I wallow in self-pity.

I've done this to the point of avoiding social interaction with those I'm not very familiar with, and venting about this awkwardness to the people I am close with. I feel like the latter is a huge mistake a lot of times especially with friends rather than family, and ironically I mentally beat myself up for that too.

That might cause OP to obsess over the interactions and make the "self-hatred" worse.

I think doing your best, learning what you can, then forgetting about the interactions is likely a better strategy.

Not so much self-loathing as self-doubt, and that does no good for self esteem.