I want a girlfriend but not friends

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I dislike groups of people, I feel overwhelmed. I prefer to communicate 1-to-1 and even only with people who are respectful and reasonably intelligent.

Male company in general is something I dislike unless the man is well educated and/or sensitive. Most men with their jokes, interest in sport and macho ways totally intimidate and confuse me.

All I want is a girlfriend and to live a full and rich life with her. Possibly run a business together. I don't want to be involved much in the wider world.

Is that possible? Achievable? If not I'm screwed.

Most neurotypical women would prefer a guy to have a social network around him. That network allows a man to do things like borrow money to start a business, attract and manage employees, provide guests at events like weddings and holidays, people to help you move house or feed your pets when you travel, presents at the baby shower and help caring for little ones, etc., etc. A man with no friends is less able to provide for himself and his family, and probably also lacks the basic social abilities to maintain a romantic relationship either. An autistic partner who didn't want children of her own might not mind your total lack of friends, since she wouldn't have many herself.

I also struggle with this. I don't want to have friends, I don't like groups, I wish I have just someone who was special for me, and to be special to someone, and share things, it don't even need to be a boyfriend but just a best friend...

Sounds like you won the lottery!

ltcvnzl, you will find your special somebody one day.

If I could create an ideal version of myself I would be good at making friends.

I would manage small talk and engage in humourous conversations.

I don't know what I'll do next.

For now I'll concentrate on carrying on trying to find the remedy to my woes. I am looking to alternative therapies like Bowen therapy and consuming herbs and other sources of health in smoothies.

Do most NT women want babies? Because my girlfriend is NT and me and her hate kids and don't want any. We both agreed if we ever get married. We're not having kids. We'll have dogs instead.

It'll be problematic because heterosexual women like masculine traits. But expressing masculinity doesn't necessarily equate to being "macho" or athletic. That's a common and erroneous assumption many sensitive guys make - being a "man" (in the cultural sense) doesn't make you an a**hole. Most dudes live in the grey area of masculinity. Maybe start embracing the parts of yourself that are masculine, even if they aren't what you typically think as "manly." For instance, maybe you're persistent. Maybe you're tough and resilient. Maybe you're a man of your word, maybe you're honest. Maybe you like to run instead of play football.

From there you can start looking for ways to build your desirability - like taking a martial arts class, or going to the gym. You could build your assertiveness skills. Join Toastmasters to build your confidence. The possibilities are endless.

When you embrace personal growth for yourself, then increased attractiveness is a side benefit. That opens up your options for partners.

It's great that you found each other then! In 2015, only 15% of women aged 45 did not have children. So something like 85% of them wanted (or at least didn't want to abort) at least one child in their lifetime.

I think these answers are stereotyping NT women/AS women/women. Saying women want a masculine man is flat out not true. There is too much diversity in humans to say these things.

Yes, it is possible to find someone with these traits. But it might take a lot of searching. You may have to socialize some to find HER. I hate sports too. I hate my partners friends. Maybe look for another Aspie.

As people get older they have less close friends and do tend to stick to their family/spouse.

An aspie girlfriend actually sounds like a good idea, but they are rare I think. I suspect my ex-girlfriend had some type of autism, but she definitely had ADHD.

You can't just get a girlfriend, it starts out as friends first. You don't just meet someone and then become their boyfriend. It doesn't work that way. Also another way to get a girlfriend is to go out more so you can meet people, join clubs, go to places and hang out like at a sports bar. But you have to be social to get a girlfriend unfortunately because that is how people actually get a partner is by socializing.

You can try online though and you can start out with talking to people and getting to know them and see if you have anything in common, join a dating site and create a profile and put a photo up of yourself and put down your activities and interests. I would start out with "red flags for a profile" search so you can read about what not to put in your profile and you might find Reddit threads about it too so you know how to make a great profile. But you can't just send someone a message asking to be their boyfriend without even knowing them first. That might put the woman off and make you look desperate and creepy. I think this approach here is much better because it's all online and you are not in groups and you are not out and it's all at home. But they might want to meet up with you in a public place if they are that into you and they might want to introduce you to their family and friends before getting into a relationship. That is just how it works with dating before getting a girlfriend.

Or you might get lucky and meet another outcast or someone with problems and you skip all those steps with dating like I did with my husband. But we talked online for like three weeks before meeting in real life and I did meet his family and met his parents friends but that was after we were in a relationship.

I believe that's called marriage or commonlaw marriage and staying-in, which is what usually happens as people grow old. It seems, to me, that you are looking for something completely normal.

The fact that 85% had kids does not imply that 85% of them wanted kids. Lots of womyn have unwanted children.

Join the club, OP.

What a misogynistic thing to say; none of this stuff is inherently connected to men.

You're right starkid, nobody wants kids, I take it back.

I don't know if you are trying to be funny/sarcastic or if your reading comprehension is really this bad.