A woman showed possible interest in me, and I got scared. :(

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This is going to sound laughable, facepalm-inducing, or downright crazy for male aspie readers, but bear with me. I'll make a lot more sense once you get a little deeper into reading. It's about how I met a woman who might have liked me, only instead of being happy or excited, I became scared.

Last Friday after work, I went to a trivia night at a bar, with my interest group. As we took our seats at tables and formed teams, a woman I never met before took a seat next to me. She looked about 31 (this is important), and was pretty cute. She immediately introduced herself with a handshake. As we talked between trivia rounds, I found her engaging in behaviors that would suggest subtle romantic interest: turning her body toward me, touching my upper arm, briefly grabbing my hand while laughing at something I said, making extended eye contact, etc. Later, when the trivia ended, music came on, and people mingled about, I even taught her to swing dance while holding hands with her. But my uneasy feeling never left me. I think she picked up on it, because we ended up parting ways without exchanging numbers. Even now, I feel more relieved than upset with myself, even though she seemed friendly.

I think my fear was triggered my seeing people in my social circle, who are all ages 28 to 36, settle down en masse. A few even had kids. While they're still as good of friends as before, doing anything fun with them has become impossible. And if I introduce a new lady friend to them, she'll want marriage and babies from me.

Interestingly, when a 22-year-old (soon to be 23) acted in a similar way around me, my initial reaction was intrigued and skeptical, but not scared. Namely, why exactly would a woman in her prime be into me, when she has access to men her age that are better than me? Especially considering just how hideously ugly I was at 22. But after I spent a some time with her, I was floored by how non-threatening she was, and found her very endearing. I was even partially relieved when I learned that she only liked me as a friend. I think what put me at ease with this friend was her age. 22-year-olds are likely to still want to go out and have fun, even if in the context of a relationship. Unlike people 28 to 36, many of whom are rushing headstrong into homebody/marriage/kids. Maybe sincerely, but equally possibly to flaunt to the world how "mature" and "serious" they are.

Possibly because deep down; you know you're not a good relationship material, like me.

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some of this happens to me, over and over and over. deer in headlights effect more likely.

I've had this type of reaction on several occasions. Afterwards I really regret it.

Back in middle school girls used to ask me out and I'd say no, not because I disliked them but because I was too scared to go on a date. What kind of redblooded boy would have such a reaction?

I liked girls but at the same time I was scared of dating. For that reason I missed out on dating experience during my formative years and now I'm still trying to learn the skills I should have learned years ago.

Also stuff like that has happend more recently. One time about 4 years ago this woman was hitting on me. I tried to respond affirmatively but I got tounge tied.

Possibly, you felt something that you never felt before.

Ok, lemme explain the deal with babies, since that appears to be a big hangup...

I was scared to death of babies and having them. Like, holy crap, what do I do with them? This will totally ruin my life!

But I went the distance and knocked my girl up. Not because I wanted kids. Because it was the frikkin RIGHT THING TO DO.

Trust me. Marry a nice girl. Make babies. Make LOTS of them. You will NOT regret it, I promise!

Don't listen to them Aspie1! If you have kids you'll have to pay hundreds of thousands to raise each of them. Have you noticed that parents don't have much disposable income? Have you noticed they rarely buy things for themselves?

That's because once you become a parent, you're no longer living for yourself, you're living for them. You care more about their education and future career than you care about advancing your own career.

Forget about sleep for the first six months. You'll be incredibly tired. And when it gets past the feeding stage? I know a woman from work who's 8 year old wakes her up in the middle of the night. Sleep deprivation will harm your career.

Daycare fees will sap your income and you'll have little time for yourself. Being a parent is like taking a second full-time job while also dealing with severe sleep deprivation. A second full-time job with no pay. In fact it uses much of your salary from your actual job.

They say everything will be fine after you have a baby but I'm sure you've heard of post-postpartum depression. I exists for a reason. You like going out to fun places? Not when you have a kid to look after. RIP social life.

I know they'll tell you the "parenting instinct" will take over and make you feel good. Sure it will. Parenting releases endorphins into the brain just like narcotics do. You wouldn't take drugs would you? Fatherhood also increases a man's [url =http://www.livescience.com/46322-fatherhood-changes-brain.html]estrogen levels![/url] You wouldn't inject yourself with estrogen would you!? Not to mention that being sleep deprived is as bad as being drunk and parenting causes sleep deprivation. If you got no sleep because of your kid and then you drove to work, that would be just as dangerous as driving drunk.

Your kid will act up. How do you deal with that? Too harsh in your discipline and you're a monster. To lenient in your discipline and the child becomes a monster. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't choice.

Your life is not the only one that could be ruined. If you screw up you screw up their lives. How could you accept such a stupendous responsibility!

As for having "lots of babies", by the gods!, if you have kids (and that's a very big if), have one or two, don't have ten. Having "lots of babies" will be bad for you and them, it means raising them in poverty. Having a baby is a bad idea but having "lots of babies" is sheer madness!

Some people just don't want kids. Is that really so hard to fathom? I've seen plenty of awful, horrible parents who should never have had children and clearly wish they didn't.