Do Some People Here Have Stockholm Syndrome?

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JohnnyLurg
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10 Apr 2017, 11:45 pm

Since I first became active on this forum, I have often found that whenever I or anyone else vents or voices their pain about how unfair society and neurotypicals can be, there is a good chance that other users with AS will either a) attack and/or vilify them for voicing said pain b) claim that said pain is insignificant compared to the starving children in Africa c) hypothesize that they will go on to be "an autistic Trump" who persecutes neurotypicals, all of which make the person venting their pain feel even worse about themselves than they did before they used this site. I am shocked, disgusted, and saddened by this behavior. I know some autistic people lack empathy or sympathy (although many have better empathy or sympathy than most neurotypicals), but what the hell kind of autistic person attacks and vilifies an autistic person for venting on a forum designated for help with autism? I mean, where else online can an autistic person vent about their problems? I don't necessarily believe that anyone here has Stockholm Syndrome, but it sure feels like it when some autistic people have lost their touch enough to understand how torturous the world can be for autistic people and use autistic forums to attack and vilify any autistic person who God forbid has the nerve to express how unfair their situation is, regardless of whether or not other people have it worse off than themselves.



Raleigh
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10 Apr 2017, 11:56 pm

I haven't observed anyone on WP doing a, b or c.
Unless they're a troll?

Do you have any examples?
Links, etc.?


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11 Apr 2017, 2:26 am

Some of us people who have experienced the consequences of bieng negatively stereotyped object to us doing the same things to NT's.

On the other hand you have a group that believes most or all of their difficulties in life are the result of thier autism and object to the idea that descrimination or bieng a small minority could be a significant factor in thier difficulties.


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teksla
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11 Apr 2017, 2:32 am

Well, some people suck.

I hope that i haven't contributed to your negative feelings about this topic.


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JohnnyLurg
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11 Apr 2017, 7:32 am

Raleigh wrote:
I haven't observed anyone on WP doing a, b or c.
Unless they're a troll?

Do you have any examples?
Links, etc.?


viewtopic.php?t=338719
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=308296
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=286142
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopi ... 3&t=273931



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11 Apr 2017, 11:46 am

Stockholm Syndrome involves when someone is in a abusive relationship or have been kidnapped so they form a bond with their person to protect themselves and do anything to please them so they can get along with them to avoid getting hurt by them. I am also sure abused children can get it too so they form a bond with the abusive parent to get along with them so they won't get abused themselves. Can it happen with friendships too or with bullied victims? Maybe. But I believe it is a real thing and the thing is I don't think most people even realize it. If someone says something like "Oh this person is great just as long as they are in a good mood and you don't make them mad. I just have to not make them mad and they are okay" comes off as Stockholm to me. But they are not going to admit to it and they will defend their partner and won't see them as abusive. Can parents get it too from their kids? Maybe. There are some kids out there who are very spiteful and mean so they do abuse because they're sick and their parents didn't even raise them wrong and they did everything right because they had never abused them nor did they ever did a lack of discipline but some kids are just ill so they act the way they do nonetheless. So to only get along with these kids and to not get abuse from them is to do everything their way and be their doormat and do anything to please them to keep them nice and calm so they are pleasant to have in their home. And the thing is these kids can actually act normal so they act fine in school and stuff but at home they're horrid. So it's like they can to control it and help it but just choose to be that way but yet it's an illness. But I hear these cases are very rare. It's rare for a kid to be that way without any abuse involved and lived in a normal family and had a good upbringing so I have nothing to worry about there about my own children.

I am not even sure if I was developing it when I was with my ex because I remember trying to get along with him and to make him happy and even acting the way he wanted me to be so he wouldn't ignore me and be upset with me. Was that Stockholm I am not sure but I believe I was heading there and then I decided to end it because I didn't want to live that way and him blowing up with me on the phone that one night was the last straw. At least I was smart enough to leave and not assume things will get better. But I wouldn't accept for a while it was all abuse and I thought my mom was nuts and it took a article for me to read in a Seventeen magazine for me to realize but I didn't want to admit to it so I was making excuses for his behavior like most victims do and then I snapped out of it when I read enough articles about abusive relationships and relating to it. Then it was the harsh truth I faced and then I felt anger at myself for even letting it happen and for not noticing while I was with him. No more excuses.


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naturalplastic
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11 Apr 2017, 1:02 pm

Are some autistics on WP "overly sympathic to their 'captors'", and have become "collaborators with the enemy"?

Thats what "Stockholm syndrome" means.

Seems a bit over the top.

Is the NT majority really analogous to bank robber, or terrorist, kidnappers? And are we ASD folks really analogous to their "hostages"?

I dunno.

Its all part of the open ended and probably unresolvable debate thats been going since the start: on one had WP needs to be the safe haven it is for autistics to vent. But on the other hand there are reasons for being offended by too much constant bad mouthing of the bad old NTs in the world.



JohnnyLurg
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11 Apr 2017, 7:25 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Are some autistics on WP "overly sympathic to their 'captors'", and have become "collaborators with the enemy"?

Thats what "Stockholm syndrome" means.

Seems a bit over the top.

Is the NT majority really analogous to bank robber, or terrorist, kidnappers? And are we ASD folks really analogous to their "hostages"?

I dunno.

Its all part of the open ended and probably unresolvable debate thats been going since the start: on one had WP needs to be the safe haven it is for autistics to vent. But on the other hand there are reasons for being offended by too much constant bad mouthing of the bad old NTs in the world.


It's funny, when I started venting about NTs, I thought I was being at least somewhat original.



lostonearth35
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05 May 2017, 1:29 pm

Since I have never (thank goodness) been abducted, held against my will, and developed positive feelings for my captors, I've never had Stockholm Syndrome.



kicker
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05 May 2017, 3:16 pm

Here are my observations.

A plethora of posts engage in both rigid thinking (Rigid thinking occurs when an individual is unable to consider alternatives to the current situation, alternative viewpoints or innovative solutions to a problem) and or magical thinking (the attribution of causal or synchronistic relationships between actions and events which seemingly cannot be justified by reason and observation). Sometimes both in the same post.

There is a distinct lack of logical thought in some posts and a lot of unreasonable expectations as to how others should respond to them.

Some posts are looking to affirm a confirmatory bias which will always lead to someone else not willing to play along.

Unfortunately some give very little regard to introspection (the examination of one's own conscious thoughts or feelings) before posting.



naturalplastic
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05 May 2017, 9:26 pm

In one of your links both you and that angry person responding to you (about starving children in Africa) were being rather asinine (he was right to criticize you, but wrong in the way he did it).

NTs dont necessarily "have it easy".

And there is no escaping the fact that success for ASD folks means "acting more NT".

Hopefully society will become more and more accomidating to autistics from this moment on.

But at the end of the day NTs are the dog of society, and autistics are the small tail. So there is no point in thinking that we can ever wag them to the same degree that they wag us. So get used to adapting to them, and to them not adapting to us..

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The idea that autistics will start to "riot in the streets" is pretty funny.

There are no "autistic" parts of town (like Black ghettos), and autistics are much tinier part of the population than Blacks. I cant imagine an "autistic riot" taking place matter how angry autistics might get.



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06 May 2017, 5:25 pm

I think it's justified to be upset if you're alone or being mistreated, but at the same time I think it's dangerous to build an echo chamber of, "Yeah, all these other human beings in the world who we need to cooperate with for sustenance and survival are terrible and inferior!*

Most people here understand as little about society as society understands about them. There are false perceptions that I feel make problems worse. Blaming what NTs do on being purely out of spite or stupidity creates more conflict and falsely inflates one's own ego, thinking that the only possible reason others could disagree or be different is because they're mean and dumb.

Expectations from people who don't really socialize well aren't even reasonable sometimes. I watched someone on another forum rant because a friend of theirs canceled a gaming playdate after a bad breakup because they didn't feel up to it.

I've never liked the starving children argument, or any about who has it worse. Problems don't just become irrelevant. At the same time, I've met a lot of people who think their problems mean that they should be able to act without consequence or responsibility, not realizing that they're not the only one hurting. I've been treated very cruelly by another Autistic woman in the past, to the point where I couldn't continue our friendship.



JohnnyLurg
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06 May 2017, 6:14 pm

kicker wrote:
Here are my observations.

A plethora of posts engage in both rigid thinking (Rigid thinking occurs when an individual is unable to consider alternatives to the current situation, alternative viewpoints or innovative solutions to a problem) and or magical thinking (the attribution of causal or synchronistic relationships between actions and events which seemingly cannot be justified by reason and observation). Sometimes both in the same post.

There is a distinct lack of logical thought in some posts and a lot of unreasonable expectations as to how others should respond to them.

Some posts are looking to affirm a confirmatory bias which will always lead to someone else not willing to play along.

Unfortunately some give very little regard to introspection (the examination of one's own conscious thoughts or feelings) before posting.


Are you referring to the posts in the threads I posted links to here or WP posts in general?



kicker
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06 May 2017, 6:19 pm

JohnnyLurg wrote:
kicker wrote:
Here are my observations.

A plethora of posts engage in both rigid thinking (Rigid thinking occurs when an individual is unable to consider alternatives to the current situation, alternative viewpoints or innovative solutions to a problem) and or magical thinking (the attribution of causal or synchronistic relationships between actions and events which seemingly cannot be justified by reason and observation). Sometimes both in the same post.

There is a distinct lack of logical thought in some posts and a lot of unreasonable expectations as to how others should respond to them.

Some posts are looking to affirm a confirmatory bias which will always lead to someone else not willing to play along.

Unfortunately some give very little regard to introspection (the examination of one's own conscious thoughts or feelings) before posting.


Are you referring to the posts in the threads I posted links to here or WP posts in general?


I believe I made that clear with "plethora".



JohnnyLurg
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06 May 2017, 6:21 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
In one of your links both you and that angry person responding to you (about starving children in Africa) were being rather asinine (he was right to criticize you, but wrong in the way he did it).

NTs dont necessarily "have it easy".

And there is no escaping the fact that success for ASD folks means "acting more NT".

Hopefully society will become more and more accomidating to autistics from this moment on.

But at the end of the day NTs are the dog of society, and autistics are the small tail. So there is no point in thinking that we can ever wag them to the same degree that they wag us. So get used to adapting to them, and to them not adapting to us..

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The idea that autistics will start to "riot in the streets" is pretty funny.

There are no "autistic" parts of town (like Black ghettos), and autistics are much tinier part of the population than Blacks. I cant imagine an "autistic riot" taking place matter how angry autistics might get.


"Neurotypicals Have Had It Too Easy For Too Long" is not a thread I would start now considering how much better my life has been going since then and how grateful I've become toward many NTs (and even ungrateful toward at least one autistic person), but that doesn't mean that the replies I received to that thread and others I've started haven't made me lose faith in certain users on this site to the degree that I'm apprehensive to post anything personal or emotionally sensitive here again.



HisShadowX
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07 May 2017, 12:15 am

JohnnyLurg wrote:
Since I first became active on this forum, I have often found that whenever I or anyone else vents or voices their pain about how unfair society and neurotypicals can be, there is a good chance that other users with AS will either a) attack and/or vilify them for voicing said pain b) claim that said pain is insignificant compared to the starving children in Africa c) hypothesize that they will go on to be "an autistic Trump" who persecutes neurotypicals, all of which make the person venting their pain feel even worse about themselves than they did before they used this site. I am shocked, disgusted, and saddened by this behavior. I know some autistic people lack empathy or sympathy (although many have better empathy or sympathy than most neurotypicals), but what the hell kind of autistic person attacks and vilifies an autistic person for venting on a forum designated for help with autism? I mean, where else online can an autistic person vent about their problems? I don't necessarily believe that anyone here has Stockholm Syndrome, but it sure feels like it when some autistic people have lost their touch enough to understand how torturous the world can be for autistic people and use autistic forums to attack and vilify any autistic person who God forbid has the nerve to express how unfair their situation is, regardless of whether or not other people have it worse off than themselves.


Your shocked autistic people lack empathy and sympathy? Let me take a guess, your self diagnosised?