Are all women disgusted by small-built, late blooming men?

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Back in September 1994, I was one of those guys that looked 12 on my freshman in college, I was turning 17 in the October that year. I think I was only 5'3 and less than 90lbs at 17. I looked 14 at 20-21, 16 at 24, so on. I was 5'8 and 125lbs at age 20. I was treated like absolute crap because I was so small and underdeveloped in skeleton and had a baby face as well. From strangers, flatmates, work colleagues on my student job you name it. I was sexually developed (deep voice, decent 6.75" penis size) but skeletal-wise and facial development, I was lagging. I never made any friends during this period (16-23) as everybody shunned or mistreated me based on looks. Girls I liked were incredibly cruel. My standards weren't high - I just avoided the noticeably fat or butch type girls, (and girls with glasses because they remind me too much of blood relatives).

Online dating proved useless when I first tried it at 23, again because through my 20's I looked very young for my age. After battling depression, I had to start again to meet people in real life at age 30, and it hasn't been easy. I'm turning 40 soon. In fact I only have acquaintances that come and go. People have long paired up and have passed that stage of being single. My facebook is made up of 12 contacts, 10 are family and two are women who already have boyfriends, and children. I don't even use it and have deleted my account. Why I'm not small now, (5'10, 170lbs), I still have severe damage lingering and created from this period. I not only missed the boat, I wasn't allowed on it. Its like I live a life of a spectator, an alien.

I just want to ask girls why they harbour so much disgust at us very late skeletal and facial bloomers?

Also, why is their an ageing double standard? Young women s**t down the ladder on guys that look too young for them (even though they're the same age, or even a few years older), yet expect us 'mature men' with little experience -- and decades of mistreatment from young women -- to settle for 40+ aged women. What kind of life is that?

I was one of those guys, except I never grew beyond 5 foot 4 and 3/4s.

You'll look really good when you reach your 40s.

no.

are all men disgusted by fat/butch/glassesed women?
no.

nopenopenope.

i've fallen for a small built, young looking man before. his appearance wasn't typically "manly" but i found him to be very attractive. he also had other things about him besides his looks which i found to be quite charming and appealing.

maybe i'm wrong but i think there are at least some substantial amount of people who don't care so much about these appearances.

You're right, Seaweed.

We've been over this, it's natural so I prefer being skinny to being dead. It's not even an eye of the beholder thing - stop perceiving disgust & that should make room for other responses. Emotions reflect on physical health; I'll take fitness & weirdness anyday over what I've determined to be the alternatives. I also just quite simply talk to those who do appreciate me, after all nobody's exempt from double standards - everyone thinks this way in a mirror.

Rejection stings, I think many can relate to it, if you make this perception part of your identity it will do you more harm than good, its not a helpful way to view yourself.
Also, no, not all women judge a person based on physical appearances, its only skin deep, or superficial.

You sound bitter and angry, and the contempt you express for women of your own age (and how you generalize about all women) speaks volumes. I suggest that your height/size has nothing to do with why all women shun you (I knew lots of short guys when I was younger that got dates/girlfriends, and some of the guys I dated when I was younger were short.) You should consider dialectical therapy to talk through your issues with a trained professional so you don't spend the rest of your life angry and bitter and getting repeatedly rejected because of it. That's a vicious cycle to get into.

Also, the question in the title of the thread is sexist.

There is not a single thing on earth that disgusts all women, because women are individual humans.

You may find something that 99% of people hate, but a small 1% will adore that same thing (hello, fetishes exist!) Women are 51% of the total human population, and every single one of us likes and dislikes different things, just like men. Some likes are more common than others, but there are always exceptions. That variety is an aspect of human nature. A population that contains no variations is a sick population that's ability to adapt is limited--Mother Nature understands the importance of variation.

Good thing you got rid of FB. They espose basically all these problems. Obviously you know more than 12 people anyway, there is no need for software to lie.

Last edited by cberg on 14 Jun 2017, 6:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

life can be unfair and cruel on some people. i mean no one has control over how they look.

still..

the question is :

should one feel guilty because they are not physically attracted to certain people from the opposite sex?

if a girl isn't really physically attracted to me at all, does this mean she is a bad person?

no its nature.. and nature isn't always nice.

you yourself said you avoided some girls u were not physically attracted to.

If we were to have just randomly met on the street, I would not know your past, or that you took a little longer to finish growing that other men, or that you had depression and anger over it, unless you told me. So every time you meet someone new, it's as if you are opening a book for which the story hasn't been written yet. And honestly, to me, it would be irrelevant if you looked 12 when you were 20 because. At one point, both of us were drooling, toothless babies in diapers...how is that relevant to our adult lives now, unless we make it relevant?

There are plenty of single women in your age range.

As for human preferences in sexual attraction, it really comes down to evolution and isn't worth getting upset about anymore than it's worth getting upset that a clear sky at noon on a sunny day is blue.

We are a sexually dimorphic species and heterosexual individuals tend to be most attracted to those on the opposite end of the sexual dismorphism spectrum as they are. That means, broadly speaking heterosexual males are attracted to traditionally feminine phenotypes, and heterosexual females are attracted to traditionally masculine phenotypes. Both males and females start out with the same basic phenotype and at puberty secondary sex characteristics develop. It's a bigger jump for the body to virilize than feminize, and so it takes longer for males to reach their maximum sexual dimorphism. Females are generally done feminizing two years after the onset of menstruation, but males can keep masculinizing into their early 30's. If you are a 20 year old man and look closer to 12, you likely look more feminine than 20 year old males who look 20.

Anyway why get mad about it? It's like me getting mad that most men would prefer to date 20 year old females, because at that point in a woman's life, she has reached her maximum sexual dimorphism, and is also still very youthful. Bear in mind that when I was a 20 year old female, and supposedly at my peak attractiveness, no man showed any interest in me, except perhaps one or two elderly men who tried to coax me into their car.

I don't think the market is too hot for 37 year old greying women with AS, but I do know that men in their late 30s to mid 40s are still in hot demand.

I've known quite a few women in their 30's, graying, seeming to be "Aspergian," whom I wouldn't have minded dating at all.

Yes, there are some men out there, though they tend to not make themselves known to me.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Oh the things I learned in my mom's labs...

^^^I agree.

I think you need to forgive yourself for being who you are and forgive others (esp women) for simply not liking you the way you want them to. Or even better, don't blame them in the first place!

I understand that in our modern society, to be "macho" is most desirable in men, even though scientifically, humans are supposed to come in various shapes and sizes - we are all different. If people can't accept this, then they are not worth your time.

Be patient and be kind to others, cleanse your heart of all that bitterness and how you begin to feel about yourself will reflect back to you in other people. There's a plethora of self-help books on confidence and self-love out there, some are really good, some not as good. Try meditation, find a hobby, start excersising.

Believe me, living your life feeling bitter and feeling slighted by everyone is going to cause more problems than you had in the first place. The key to happiness is love.

Closet Genious, look - they're blaming the 'tone' again instead of admitting the real source of the problem. You are so right.

Only Chronos had figured what's the real source of his struggles.