figuring yourself out

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Kind of interested to see if anyone else's obsession is figuring themselves out. It seems most people are able to turn it off fairly easy (or at least some therapists think so)... and I cannot.

If a situation arises, I sit around and ponder the situation afterwards, what I could have done differently, why I didn't do it differently, can I actually ever figure out how to do it differently, why I reacted the way I did, how I felt when it happened, what exactly triggered it, etc. I always get down the the nitty gritty of it, and can't do anything with it. I just wind up with a bunch of unresolved answers, or answers I can do nothing with, and I start the process all over again. This is something that goes on all the time, even when fiddling with my interests/hobbies... it's like a humming/buzzing in the background constantly.

If there is no situation to analyze, I still do it... I'll wonder why I'm analyzing and trying to figure out why I'm analyzing the way I think all of the time. It's just a neverending process.

not much to figure out with me. i spend my time doing things more worthwhile. sometimes when i smoke weed i start thinking about such things but it's best to just put some music on and listen

I have the exact same problem. I get so caught up in analyzing things that I tend to zone out and people think I'm stupid.

I used to be a lot like that a couple of years ago. Not as much anymore though.

My bf I'm pretty sure is getting tired of listening to me talk He said he never has a chance to tell me anything and will tell me "you know, I have problems too, and I have no one to talk to about them". But it's not the same, I don't tell him to lay my problems on him, it's just what I'm thinking about at the moment, and it's always something else, always trying to figure out why I do what I do or think the way I think. To me, it's just talking, casual conversation... but to him it's nothing but hearing about me all of the time...

I wonder if it has to do with the fact that things like this become contagious... if someone is around someone who does this all of the time, some of them tend to start looking closer at themselves, and most people don't want to do this, because they don't see a problem with themselves or just don't want to think there is one.

Or maybe it's just that it's annoying to hear me talk about myself all of the time, lol. No matter the reason, I feel more alone every time I try to explain or discuss something with someone, because they will shoot down my ideas fairly quickly, or tell me to stop trying to figure it out, or they will come up with a reason as to why I am doing it. This, inevitibly throws me for a loop, I don't know what I think anymore, I don't know how to handle interjections when I'm thinking outloud, I don't know how I feel about things, and I don't know why I'm bothering to talk about it... but I do know if I don't talk about it, then no one will talk about anything, or he will start talking about something I have no interest in, so I kill the conversation instantly if I stop.

Maybe that's why I keep doing it.... an ongoing dialogue with myself. I don't know.

It takes me about 5 minutes to get right back to it, but at that point, the other person becomes involved in the equation because they said something that threw me off, so now I have to evaluate myself and re-evaluate how strongly I believe what I'm saying or what I think about myself, why I think I do things, etc, but they are in the equation as the "why did they say that?" part, and that makes it harder to figure out because I'm trying to apply someone else's opinion to myself when I don't understand it.... etc. etc. etc.

ARGH! It's so frustrating, lol.

I haven't really done that much lately, but I used to analyse practically everything, but then I figured out that even if I do figure out what went wrong in a particular situation nothing changes, so there isn't much point to doing it.

did it just kind of stop one day?

I think it was more gradual. I had it worse when I was depressed and confused when I was 13/14. I still overanalyse things now, but more because of my social anxiety than anything else.

have you not got any hobbies or anything?

yeah, it's weird-I start overanalyzing other things, but it always comes back to figuring me out. I never really blame the other person, I know I'm the one who doesn't comprehend and everything.... I just don't know why I do it though. I come across as extremely self-centered due to it, and have come to the realization that maybe I just am. I would still do anything for anyone though... I just don't want to hear about what's going on in their life because it doesn't benefit me on my own mission, lol.

Me?

I do, that's the odd thing. I'm on here all of the time, I make hemp bracelets and junk a LOT, I sort beads by color and such, but it's this ongoing noise in the background all of the time-something I can't seem to shut off.

I don't have any main focuses that will take my mind off of anything for the most part. I don't have anything I can learn more about really, or anything I'm interested in that I can learn more about. Maybe that's why I'm so focused on this stuff instead... not using my brain enough, lol. But I'm not so sure I can even get interested in other things-I really enjoy learning, but just nothing is new anymore... I learn about half of what I want to know, then my focus changes. Odd, isn't it?

That's another thing I've been wondering about... maybe it's not Asperger's, but another part of the autistic spectrum... I never have gotten focused on any one imparticular subject in school or anything, just certain parts of each, then I move on rather quickly from it-the obsession will go on for a few months then stops-they are short lived. But the sorting beads by color and such is an on-going thing and has been since I was a child.

Last edited by nobodyzdream on 27 May 2007, 11:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

well i know you like cats and history
i meant nobodyzdream, if she had a hobby, then it would keep her mind on something.

hmm so you can't turn it off.
i am usually consumed with what i am doing, but i know what you mean. i have had phases where i cannot just 'chill-out'. It's usually when i am going through a depressive phase, they can be hard to get out of.

Maybe that's what's going on... I hadn't thought much about it, but when I'm depressed it usually doesn't really register as depression, lol. I'll have to ponder that one for a bit But that could very well be what is going on. I'm learning rapidly a lot about myself lately, and figuring it out, that could be another factor in it-I'm a bit fascinated by it still... I feel like a giant puzzle, lol.

well i don't know, that's just the way it is with me.
there's nothing wrong with self-analysis, but if you are doing it all the time and can't stop yourself thinking about such things, then it's a problem.