So much for dreams....teaching....help

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So...I went to school to become a teacher. I didn't work during a large portion of my time, and I managed to accumulate a lot of debt because of it. Now, I'm working as a teacher, and I'm failing hard. I've been at this place for about two years, and the kids have made it clear that they HATE me. In fact, a few of them have written formal complaints against me claiming that I'm not a good teacher, and these have been taken very seriously by the detention center where I work. My boss has taken action to try to resolve the complaints, but the action included putting another teacher in my room. Now, I feel more inept than I think I ever have in my adult life. I was diagnosed with ASD shortly before I graduated with my master's degree. I feel like I was just taken for a ride by my college. The important stuff I needed to learn, face-to-face communication, conflict resolution, professional behavior, gaining the respect of subordinates, etc. wasn't part of the curriculum, and although I'm happy for the content knowledge, I think the skills mentioned earlier would have been more helpful.

As it stands, I'm wondering how long I'm going to be able to keep this job and if there's any way of leaving without having a termination on my record and no good references from my former boss.

A detention center, as in, for juvenile delinquents? I would think that would be an almost impossible place for an aspie, because your students are virtual anti-aspies, with sociopathic and hostile traits.

It may not be that you're a bad teacher, but that this is not the right setting. Have you taught in any other settings?

Most of the settings where I've worked have been pretty rough.

I think before you give up on teaching, you should see if you can move into a less hostile setting and see how you do there. Kids can be extremely cruel, and the population you are now working with may well consider it a game to try to destroy the teacher.

That may also be an angle to take with your boss -- say something like, "I'm not sure this population is a good fit for me. Can you recommend any other teaching opportunities that might be a better fit?" Look around for private schools, small public schools, perhaps a younger age group, etc. Avoid giant places.

I kind of monitor; I don't really teach all of the subjects the students are taking. I have a broad range of grade levels taking a handful of different subjects, some within my area of certification, some not. Usually, it's pretty quiet, and the kids are well-behaved. That recently changed, though. It seems like I have a group that loves to test me and try to break me down. Sometimes they make me remember old wounds I got when I was a teenager. I want to turn it into something positive, but I really do not know how. It's like the kids live to see me fail and display incompetence. I would love to just give a disciplinary note to everyone who is rude and obnoxious toward me, but I feel like they have a way of turning it around and making it look like my fault to my superiors.

My take:

As someone mentioned above, you're doing something that runs pretty much completely counter to all the things that make you a member of the spectrum. The classes/curriculum you mentioned would benefit you as an Aspie and benefit any teacher out there. I'm sure there is a place out there and a teaching or teaching related job out there where you could be a real star, but this isn't it. Put some resumes out and figure out a few good references and figure out what to say at the interview regarding why this job wasn't right for you. Get out while the getting is good. You are probably not a bad teacher. You're probably just a bad fit.

Were you happy in your job before this new group of students?

I've no experience with a detention centre environment. I think the stress levels would burn me out in a short timeframe.

For the short term, seek advice from management on how to deal with this group, some support even in a small way will help you to feel less alone.

For the long term, make an exit plan, it's helped me to know that I have a path out of an unsustainable situation. There is an end in sight.

Find out what your options are in case you need to restructure your loan in the future.

You have 2 years experience plus a masters! Remember what you are capable of, it was hard work to get to this point, it took determination.

This gives you options if you move on before you burn out. I agree a small setting is best, maybe consider a part time position and look into providing grinds/private tutoring to subsidise your income.

Start investing in your health in a serious way, go to counselling to help boost your wellbeing and delay any possible burn out.
Also to help with your self belief as these situations can knock our confidence.

I think if you start taking actions to change your situation you will feel more in control of what happens to you.

Well,

I have an update. I was hired at a nice little somewhat private school in Texas, but I'm teaching middle school, and I'm still having problems. They aren't as severe as they were at the other place, but I'm frustrated, because I feel like I have all of the potential to be a star here, but I still don't have a lot of confidence in planning passable lessons. I really want to copy my colleague's lessons until I get the hang of it, but that's not happening. I don't even have enough courage to ask to do something like that, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let me be so "lazy," but I feel like the kids expect something better than what I'm giving them right now, and I'm having a lot of trouble getting the hang of it. I haven't given up, but it's almost Christmas, and I've been working for three months and still haven't mastered this job, even though I was exposed to all kinds of teaching techniques in college.

I'm afraid that I'm going to fail too much before anyone sees that I really do have potential. I've had trouble staying organized and keeping up with students' work. I've also just had trouble scheduling my lessons properly, all organization issues that I wish someone at work would assist me with, but I kind of feel like I'm on my own. I'm afraid to ask my colleagues about some of these issues because they make me look lazy or incapable.

This is such a wonderful job, but I've been failing at so much here so far.

I don't have good classroom management.
I'm not sure when and how to call parents.
I don't have good rapport with some of the kids.
My lesson plans are not fun and engaging.
I haven't provided many accommodations for my special needs students.

Besides doing whatever works for you to get your ASD symptoms under better control, the one thing that stands out that I think you really ought to do is ask your colleagues for help. Sure, you don't want to because you think it makes you look incompetent.. but you know what's worse than looking incompetent? Being incompetent because you didn't ask for help.

Obviously you have to be careful who you ask for help and how. ie if there's another teacher that doesn't particularly like you and wants to see you fail, don't ask them for help. If there's one or two you're a bit friendly with, discreetly ask them for their help. Tell them you're having a few difficulties engaging students with your lesson plans and that this is all a bit of learning curve in the real world vs. lecture hall theory, and you'd appreciate their input. People like to be appreciated for their occupational knowledge and will open up and help you out more than you think they would - you just have to signal them to do it, give 'em a little nudge and then let them help you. Pay close attention, absorb as much as you can, and thank them for it so they feel appreciated and are much more likely to help you again when you ask, or even simply offer their assistance when they see that you might need it. Once they know you're open to accepting help they won't feel like they have to do the socially acceptable thing of keeping their mouths shut and not criticising you.

Give it a try, see how it goes! Can't really hurt anything, can it?

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Hello there!!

It would seem to me that you and I have had exceptionally similar experiences, except I had no clue I was likely on the spectrum until WELL after I left teaching.

I started at a small school in TX and then moved closer to Mobile, AL where you list you are from (although I recognize you are in TX). I lasted for three years and did not do well at all. I had virtually all of the same issues you have described. So, I left and felt like a failure. I went into sales and did well at that because it was all surface level contact. I would "put on a face" and delve into that for 12 hours a day. I think if you want to be successful there are a few options.


1. Hang in there long enough to figure out how to get through to the kids.
2. Take up tutoring - there are a number of tutoring services out there - or if not one in your area start one. This assures you that the kids you will be teaching are a. interested b. paying for it c. not wasting your time.
3. Find something else to do.

Think hard about your decision. Do you have a passion for teaching? If so, then keep on and hang in there. If its not REALLY what you want to do, then you are putting yourself out there only to continue being "eaten alive" by the kids. Are you certified to teach another grade level perhaps??

Best wishes!! !



FF

I'm glad to hear you're doing better, but sad to hear you're not doing great.

Kmb, I understand the feeling.

I left the teaching profession after 8 years of working as a substitute teacher. I had worked for some long-term positions, and had many of the same problems. I think the social deficits of ASD provide a challenge for building rapport with students. I loved the instructional part of teaching, but hated the classroom management. All I can say is be consistent, but try not to become too much of a disciplinarian because we already have an unintentional reputation for being cold and "uncaring." Try to find out interests of your students and take a few moments to connect to each of your kids. Another thing that could help with lesson planning is to vary the learning styles. Include video, audio, web-interactive material, and stop being too critical. If you are comfortable with yourself, your kids should as well in time.

As for universities, I agree that most professors stick to methodology and sort of leave beginning teachers in the dust when it comes to professional, non-instructional aspects of the career. I had no clue what I was doing my first couple years, but I worked around it and think I did a decent job coping. Interviewing for jobs on the other hand...