Nostalgia

Post Reply New Topic

I was watching some old black/white sitcoms this afternoon (My Three Sons and Leave It To Beaver). I'm only in my thirties, so they were quite old, even when I was a kid. Anyway, I got the most wonderful hopeful feeling, while I was watching them. It's difficult to describe; but it felt like I was a kid again, and even though my life was pretty crappy then, I always had the belief that I would grow up, marry the man of my dreams, have a supportive new family, lots of close friends, and an all-around great life. I had the same feeling, over the weekend, when I drove past my childhood neighborhood. The feeling quickly changed to depression, because now I know that's not going to happen. Fairly tales endings don't exist. What was I thinking?

Childhood is the land of dreams,
and should not be abandoned.
We hurt, constantly craving to
return to that time before pain.

Better to be a child, than to suffer
wishing one was. Even in the darkest
of ills, a child can still see some light.

Very nice!

And, yet, when we're children, we waste the innocence by wishing we could grow up faster.

when i go back to my childhood places I have a sinking feeling of dread and then am so glad I got out of there.

Sometimes I wish my Aspie memory weren't so vivid about my distant past. I mean, I can actually believe I'm back in those past circumstances, when I'm trying to recall them. Like I'll start feeling exactly the same emotions, and having exactly the same mental activity, that I did back in that specific past period of time I'm recalling. Like I'm morphing into my past self. I mean, it's like I dislocate myself. It's a little scarry, but it's mostly just emotionally disorienting, and therefore annoying. I've actually had to calm myself down sometimes by verbally telling myself that I'm not there in the past anymore, I'm here, in the present.

Last edited by Ragtime on 29 May 2007, 2:57 pm, edited 4 times in total.

Same here. Not always this particular feeling, but usually it is.

My brother, who's also an Aspie, has the same problem. Since we didn't have the best childhood, being raised by an insane mother, his mind wanders back to the past, hoping that he can change things, even if only in his own mind. Each time, he feels increasingly angry at the hopelessness of the situation.

My youngest son does this. It just started 6 months ago and he said he didn't remember things before that. Now he remembers everything. And believe me, I am making darn sure that he has good memories to look back on! I can't believe the way that some people are treated when they are young.

*sigh*.....yep, reality really bites some days. Why did they drill this stuff into us when we were kids? Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty? No wonder why we need meds. I grew up with this stuff and watching the Brady Bunch.

It's not the "fairytale life" I thought I'd have here either...more like a "twisted fairytale" some days ...but it's okay...it's "real", and I'm pretty sure I won't be beating TV producers in need of a new sitcom off of my property anytime in the near future...although Ozzy Osbourne's family seemed to really pull in the ratings.

[quote="alexbeetle"]when i go back to my childhood places I have a sinking feeling of dread and then am so glad I got out of there.[/quotte]

Being an alcoholic,homeless,etc,etc....nothing was as bad as the powerlessness of childhood and depression of teenage years.At least now when bad things happen,it is mostly poor choices I have made for myself and living in a society of humans(with all that that implies).I can still make choices about my environment,to a degree that was not possible in childhood.My only positive memory in childhood environment was walking in the woods,blissfully alone with the moss,rocks,creek,bugs and critters or lost in the world of a good book for the time it was allowed.

I will never romanticise childhood....there was no blissful ignorance for me(perhaps in the hope of being returned to my planet?),just moments I could shut out reality.

When I was a child I looked at adults and hated what they stood for. I vowed, very strongly, that I would never become an adult. To this day, even though I look like an adult and can operate in the adult world, I have never lost the child within me.

This makes me quite different and stand out when I am with friends, but this is what they love about me - my ability to see the world through the eyes of a child.

I can have childish fun without worrying what I look like.
I can sit on the swings with my neices and have just as much fun as they are.
I can fly like Superman, or fight like a Jedi.
I get excited about games for children aged 8 and above.
I have my soft toys that I have so much affection for.
Sometimes I wish I could skip down the street, but that would be going to far (I think).

And then I am reminded I live in an adult world, and its time to grow up.
I will act like an adult and do all the things adults do...
But I will never grow up!

Great discussion. As a child, I used to wonder how my parents could just sit there on the couch all evening, and actually enjoy reading the newspaper and watching the news. Why didn't they go out...DO something? I now know why...they were tired. I am tired, too, but I'm not that boring. One of the best things about becoming a parent is getting to play with all the toys. I like building with Legos with my son and I adore styling and dressing Barbie. (Yes, my daughter likes Legos, too, and no, my son does not like Barbie, but likes GI Joe.) Even though I can't believe I am a grown-up, I do grown-up things, I have a grown-up job, and when I think that people my age are "in charge" of so much in this world I start to panic. I hope my kids will think I was a fun Mom...as fun as Moms go, that is....

I'm that way too, although I do get tired of playing quicker than my kids do. I think I like finding the toys even more. I notice people staring at me in the toy stores, because I get so excited when I see something my daughter might like. Recently, I spotted the sequel to our favorite book. I didn't know they were making one, so I squealed in delight.



I remember the first time I felt that way. It was in high school when I overheard people talking about their after-school jobs. I couldn't believe that anyone was trusting them with money, food, etc. I still feel that way when I hear of someone having a big-shot job, and they're near my age, even though I'm now in my thirties.

I have been to many toy stores with kids (and sometimes by myself) and when I see something I like, I really really really want to jump up and down and clap my hands and express so much how excited I am about this toy. I want to shout to the world this great toy I have just found. On occasion, with kids, I feel safe enough to express a little excitement with them, but inside I want to shout louder than they are. As soon as we leave the store I try and be adult enough and tell the kids to 'wait till we get home' but inside I am dying to get it out and start playing with it. And you can bet when we get home... its me who plays 1st!

I find myself indulging in nostalgia a lot, lately. I have been reading a lot of the books that made me feel peaceful and content, or the way that kiki3 describes feeling, when watching that old tv show. I also joined the disney movie club, and ordered old favorites to watch when today's world just seems too much.

Used to be a time
We held the world,
Wrapped it 'round our fingertips,
Laughing at what others missed
Someday, yesterday,
The magic we felt went away,
"Grow up," somebody said -
Tell me where it's gone
So I can go find it now...

- Queensryche, "Some People Fly", Hear In the Now Frontier

(Of course, I also like the lead-in to the refrain:

I can't live your way,
Go ahead without me -
I'll find my own way...)