How do you explain aspergers to a kid?

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Hey, Im new to this. I have a son with Aspergers syndrome, he is eight, and im in a relationship with someone who has a six year old daughter. We are having some trouble at the moment- little girl doesnt want to be around my son, which you can imagine causes problems. How can i explain things to her simply and without freaking her out?????

There are children's books about autism and AS. I've never read any but I hear good things. One example is All Cats Have Asperger's by Kathy Hoopman: http://www.amazon.com/All-Cats-Have-Asp ... 877&sr=8-1

All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome is a really good book - it provides a light-hearted and non-scary view of AS.

It might be worth emailing the National Autistic Society as they are pretty good and may well be able to give you some helpful advice. There are also many good resources on their website and they have their own bookship too [url]www.nas.org.uk[\url]

It is possible that your son already realises that he is 'different' - I know that I did by this age. So perhaps it is worth explaining by starting with the things that he has difficulty with and explaining that they are not his fault. Nature makes people in all shapes, sizes, different hair colours, personalities etc - and AS is just an extension of that. Nature (or God if you believe in Him) makes some people who are neuro-typical and some people who have AS. Just as nature makes some people who are great at reading, and some people who are not great at reading but brilliant at art etc. Point out the positive aspects of AS too.
(this worked with my 15 year old cousin who has significant learning difficulties).

Good luck, I will you and your family well.

Thank you so much. I think i need to explain things more to my son too, he knows he is different but i dont think he fully gets why.

After reading Freaks Geeks and Aspergers Syndrome, written by a 13 yr old with AS, we decided to tell our son whoat the time was about 9. He took the news very well and somewhat relieved just at the 13 yr old author predicted. They sure know they are different than other kids and having a name, resources, and success stories reduces the anxiety, at least in our (now 13) son. We also created some posters for his room that showed famous Aspies and their successes. Thomas Jefferson, Bill Gates, Einstein etc.

The key in telling them, I think, is to remind them that when you get to know people, you realize everyone has some challenge in their life. For some its Aspergers, for some diabetes, for some being a minority, for some being shy etc etc. And also that Aspergers brings benefits as well as challenges. When you tell you son, point out the god, th bad and the "who cares". And remind him that Einstein was a "C" student! My son loved that!

Sounds great, my problem is telling the other child though- how do i explain to her that he doesnt mean to over react or act out? I will definitely take on board some of those points though.

[quote="Lady_Emma"]Sounds great, my problem is telling the other child though- how do i explain to her that he doesnt mean to over react or act out? I will definitely take on board some of those points though.[/quote]

I have the same problem, except my "other kids" are 3 and don't understand very well. I just explain to them that my son needs whatever because he is feeling whatever and they have just sort of learned to give him his space etc. But when he wants to he will socialize with them, but I have to really supervise him!

(I run a child care business at home) :)

Fall back on the blunt truth. He has Asperger. Even as you need to be honest with your son you need to be honest with this little girl. His perspectives are different than NTs { of course speak to her level of understanding but don't talk down to her] and we have to understand that and help him understand his differences. Be prepared to deal it out in small doses and use repetition. Let her see that you correct his unacceptable behavior, just as you will hers. Try to be as patient with her as with him, not easy if she responds more quickly and more appropriately than he does.

Do your best to be honest and fair with both of them. I still struggle with this with Z and S. I hope I've made sense and that this is helpful.

My daughter is NT and 2 years younger than my son. It was really hard for my nurturing, sweet hearted little girl to get beat up by this impatient, unsharing brother. One of her big challenges was understanding why we treated our son differently than her. We've always tried to be patient with both children but, they are individuals and they have different learning modes. One day she sat in my closet crying and I had to tell her over and over that her brother can't always help the way he acts or reacts. Pointing the differences out to her without son knowing was very helpful. She really got it eventually. She understands how to get his cooperation now, and helps him with the things his has trouble with and she has really sprouted at age 11. One of the things that comes to mind was a card game we were playing a couple of years ago. My daughter and I were going through the deck and my son would see it and had to stop and straighten it out and when it got messy again he'd come over and straighten it out again and we'd look at each other and just smile. When they were in school together she would be with her friends and my son would be playing basketball on the playground and she would get embarrassed. She came home telling me how weird and ackward he looked trying to play basketball. So, talk with her and share special moments, appreciate the differences and they will eventually get it.

great advice aspie13

When my daughter was 4 and her brother was going through a seriously rough period impacting the family in drastic ways, it dawned on her one day that "My brother has troubles". The term stuck and has been useful because it doesn't single out her brother but also is applicable to other children they encounter at school, in their neighborhoods, etc. (Of course later we brought in the correct term).

Things that help young childen understand:

-We all have some sorts of struggles or differences, but some children and adult have more. Going through the family and listing health problems, physical challenges, differeneces struggles, etc. including those of the other child helps a child to see the bigger picture and not just singling out the AS child.

-Discuss, with specific examples, behaviors that seem different or possibly frightening to her. Help her to understand why he does them.

-Younger children especially need to know they are safe and secure from someone who might be different and sometimes scary to them. They may benefit from knowing there's a place that they can go to be alone.

-Younger children need to be able to express observations, concerns, and fears without being shot down. As a parent and an adult you've likely arrived at some kind of acceptance, but many children need time and space to think it out.

-Make sure that both children have access to some space to be away from each other when needed or desired. Just because you may want to spend X number of hours a week with your sweetie doesn't mean the kids want to spend X number of hours a week with each other.

My sister was a little older. As far as I remember I don't think I was particularly disruptive towards her, I was mostly quiet. She wanted to play the role of big sis. She did go through a long period of feeling jealous of the attention that I got, and generally seeks approval. For a lot of time we were separated in different schools, so I can't say I really knew her. In fact, I knew very few people.

She is completely different now a lot more secure and settled with her career, flat and b/f. We have become like friends at 25 and 26 She helps me with my problems.