Not feeling "enough" for NT friends

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I have 2 NT friends who I really care for and value our friendship. I just can't help but feel like I'm not "good enough" or perhaps "not enough" for them and their NT needs, since I'm autistic.

I'm constantly worried that I'm either too boring in my communication or get misunderstood. When they're having a hard time, I don't always know how to support them and show them my concern. I just don't know what to say and I feel like what I end up saying is either "too little" or "too much", if there's such thing as caring too much. I want to show them that I care, just the right amount. Not indifferently but not desperately either.

I'm really worried that they secretly dislike me, think I'm too weird, but mostly that I don't mean anything to them, while they mean the world to me. They probably prefer their other people over me, in fact I know they do, while they're the only ones I have and that just sucks.

I know I should be grateful for finally having any friends at all, I used to be very lonely, but this is what's bothering me now. I almost feel worse about myself and more self-conscious now than when I was all alone.

I bet you are not any of these things. We are often our "own worst enemy." This might be the case here.

I'm not kidding, by the way. I used to think lousy about myself, until I learned about people.

why not just ask them and tell them what you think?
you see there is different things you get from different friends one may share your special interest and another may share your way of thinking .. etc
so they can enjoy your company even if you are not feeling " enough ", but they may like other things about you that others don't have, and by asking they may tell you why they enjoy your company and want to be a friend of yours

You could ask them whether they are satisfied with the friendship.

Thanks for the replies guys!

Well I notice that NT people aren't as cool in my opinion as autistic people. Do you know anyone in person with autism or aspergers?

Never portray yourself as "less" than anybody-----ever!! !! !!

"I am enough."

Write it on your mirror.

Say it 2 hundred times a day.

I've brought stuff like the original post up with new friends and it went over surprisingly well...try at your own risk of course. I didn't bring up aspergers but I did say I have trouble with small talk and they actually seemed a bit relieved and said I do fine, and they themselves have issues too, and they shared them. Was pretty neat.

I never feel good enough. While I am liked by people in the groups I'm in, I am not equal to them by NT standards.

^^^ sigh....says who? seriously, what exactly IS "NT standards?"

you should value yourself more and value the friendships you DO have, more. they are your friends, cos they like you. end of.
overthinking it, you may see shadows where there are none imho.