how do girls signal interest?

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I've sort of been failing miserably at dating for much longer than I'm willing to admit, and it often seems to boil down to failing to read a girl's level of interest (as far as I can tell anyhow). I'll ask a girl out who'll react in a way that highly suggest I should have known better, or fail to see that a girl is showing interest in me and learn later, long after she's moved on to other things, that she did in fact have an interest (could be wishful thinking in some cases, guess this thread is partially about figuring that bit out).

I'm really hoping to get some input from NT ladies here, preferably in their late 20s early 30s since that's the sort of girls I end up meeting through work and what little socializing I do, but I'll take any answer that will give me some insight: What's a surefire way of telling if a girl likes you? And then, assuming there's a trick for that, how do I gauge how interested she is? Is she just looking for a quick lay (next! ) or does she see me as boyfriend material? Maybe she just wants a friend, or is simply being polite? Could some just be super shy and expect me to keep trying? I can never seem to tell what's what

I really have a zillion questions but this is probably a good place to start. If there's a patient NT lady on here (or a knowledgeable Aspie!) I'd really like to pick at your brains!

I'm from another generation so I can't really give you all the clues you are looking for, but I will share this story of my son and his girlfriend:

Apparently she had been trying to signal her interest for around 7 weeks, and sometimes he thought she was interested and sometimes he didn't. Since he wasn't sure, he didn't pursue it. Until ...

One day she rolled her chair over and put her head in his lap. He figured that was a pretty obvious sign.

I suggest not rushing it. The right person for you won't give up. My son knows he needs to be very open with his girlfriend about his communication limitations, and they have agreed to talk about everything, assume nothing. She isn't ever going to be able to get what she needs from him with subtle signals, so it is just as well she learned right away to get a whole lot more obvious.

@DW_a_mom, I assume I'll never get all the clues I'm looking for, can't really be helped as I understand it, but I value your input greatly, every little bit helps

That said I hope there's some less-obvious-but-still-easily-identified signs otherwise it's not looking good for me :O Last time a girl spontaneously rested any part of her body against mine was almost a decade ago now, if we exclude my 10yo fake niece

They throw their blouses at you and ask if you're of the fertile, breeding sort.

Kidding. I find that they vi for your attention. If they are initiating more often than you are there's a good chance they like you. Some might say body language is another thing that comes into it but from my experience some women much like the men can be very flirtatious for the fun of it.

IME, well, good luck is all I can really say. I took it as a good sign if the girl didn't immediately run away screaming.

Apparently there's. No way. As all the "classic signs" are also things people do at work or to be polite. And since we're men women won't ask as out. It's also not ok for use to ask them if they like us or ask them out unless we know they like us. Future is doomed.

I'd say it depends. You need to decide which type of girls you are interested in first.

If you want to get to know NTs, then you need to use trial-and-error to decode their interest signals and be prepared for a lot of rejection. Rejection is a big part of NT courtship and dating, and if you cannot handle that, forget about trying to get an NT. You also need to have socially attractive attributes like status, a good job, a bright future and so on. Regardless of how good you learn "the game", some things are not learnable, so you will always be less than NT.

If you want to get to know NDs/aspies, then it is a totally different thing. You don't need to learn anything, rather you need to unlearn a lot of things that only is part of NT relationships and be natural. Interest signals are repeated eye contact, you don't date (so don't ask the girl out, you will blow everything if you do that). Relationships are formed by regularly hanging out and being close to each other.

If she initiates texting or messaging you just to say hi or good morning or goodnight to you (without asking for favors).

That, in my case, was always a 100% surefire way of telling they like me, the margin of error in that is 0% I assure you; no girl who just sees you as 'friend' would take the trouble by pulling out her phone, to scroll searching your contact in her list, pressing on your name just to send you a hello just for "the sake of new friendship" - this doesn't happen in life ; it happens only if there are other motives (ie. romantic interest, or seeking for a favor or a group outing planning...etc).

So after you establish rapport with them, try to exchange fb/numbers with them, you can text them first but then wait and see if they will ever text you first.

The problem with that approach is that many women (in western culture) want to be chased, they want to be seen as desirable, as something worth working for. Those women are not going to do the chasing and rather than contacting you first will see your lack of contact as lack of interest and she'll find a guy that *will* chase her.

Cultures where men are mainly seen as a meal ticket will have women who are more likely to chase the men instead.

I've heard that if a girl likes you, she'll usually invite you out with her friends. She'll introduce them to you and you to them - attempt to embed you into the "circle", if you will.

Also, keep an eye peeled for subtle body signals. If you catch her glancing at you regularly, especially if she's laughing at something supposedly funny, chances are she likes you.

Women do give signals that they are "interested." Many of these signals involve the eyes, in my opinion.

I'm pretty sure there's a woman on my job, much younger than me, who is interested in me. It's in how she moves her eyes--like her eyes are "smiling."

I'm not going to act upon it, though, because

1. I'm married

2. She might be of a religion which frowns upon people "getting together" with people of another religion. She is a woman of Palestinian heritage, and she wears a head-covering. It's plenty obvious that she's quite "human," though.

3. My impression might not be the correct one. She could be merely being friendly and pleasant.

I do that.

*edit

If you like them back after they do this make the bloody effort to invite the girl somewhere yourself or she'll think you're not interested.

usually my approach is something like, "I'd like to get to know you better; text me sometime. Here's my number. " but I'm notoriously tactless, at best.

As an aside, i am researching flirting, but that's most useful if I'm interested in striking up a rapport with an NT.

Ah yes; that too.

And I hate it honestly; especially if she's doing at a very early stage.

What kind of responses do you get to that?

I don't find that tactless at all.

I would have liked a woman to have done this when I was dating.