Would you reintroduce a comfort item you had phased out?

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Hi everyone!

When my son was young he had blankies that he loved, just light cloth with a satin edge, he use to play with them in his fingers and sometimes suck on the satin edge. We ended having about 8 of them in the house so I could wash them regularly.
I worked very hard with him to get rid of them when he was about 3 and a half, his dad thought it was too baby to keep them even just for sleep time so as reluctant as he was to let them go, he eventually did.
This was all before his diagnosis.
He has now at 6 been diagnosed ASD, he recently found a similar toy called a taggie, which belongs to his baby sister. He has taken a liking to it and been sneaking it into his bed and I found him the other day sucking one of the satin tags.
I'm inclined to just let him keep it (his sister isn't missing it).
But I am wondering since it obviously is a sensory comfort to him whether I should get some more of the blankies he use to have as part of his sensory kit or even just to help him sleep.

Is this a bad idea? Should I not reintroduce something that was so difficult to get him to give up? I know his dad (my ex husband) is going to be cranky if I allow him to have one, but I don't really see the harm in it if it is of comfort to him.

What would you do?

Personally, I would not hesitate to offer him something that he finds comforting. If that's a blankie it's a blankie. Life is hard, sometimes I wish I had a blankie

I would start by talking to him about it. Find out what it is about it that he likes, and also if he remembers giving up his previous comfort item. Be clear you don't intend to judge him for what he tells you; use a character story (where the character finds and sucks on the toy) if you have to.

Once you know what draws him to it you can decide if you want to allow him to keep the item, or redirect him to something more age appropriate that can serve the same purpose. Lots of young ASD kids are huge chewers, and straws are often a good alternative for them, for example. Don't be surprised if you find him chewing and sucking on sleeves, collars, etc ... or even his own hand; all are relatively common ASD behaviors.

I don't at all understand the insistence of some parents to take away comfort items used in private that do not socially impede a child. I don't know if the notion is that they need to toughen up or that they want them to learn more mature coping mechanisms, or if it just makes parents feel weird. The only thing about the whole thing I get is worry about what is done in public b/c other people can be jerks and there are social consequences to that kind of thing, depending on age.

So, with that bias acknowledgement out of the way, I really don't see an issue with letting him have the old stuff back. i don't know if I would start a conversation or not because it seems like he was made to feel bad enough about it before that he is sneaking the new one. I would just make sure he knew where they were and see what happens.

If he takes to it, then maybe I would have a conversation with him about how they are for your house only b/c of social consequences and so he doesn't have to deal with his dad's attitude about it. (Plus your ex might toss them out, if they end up in his home)

I don't know that I know enough about your relationship with your ex to know if giving him a heads up about it is good to do or not.

I wouldn't give it back to him. It would be mixed signals. However, I would let him keep this new comfort item. Why not?

I would let him have them. I think it's harmless.
I wouldn't even bother so much about mixed signals. I would just say "I was wrong to take it away from you". A parent can be wrong. Admitting this doesn't make the children trust you less. It makes them trust you more.
I needed to forcefully take pacifier away from my daughter - no gentle method I tried before succeeded and the brute force costed me a serious mental breakdown due to a month of sleep deprivation - she really couldn't sleep and woke me up every hour. But she was 4y6m and had severe open bite so something had to be done.
Well, it's over, the bite repaired itself without any additional intervention in a few months and of course I would never reintroduce pacifiers to her, no matter what diagnosis she would get.
But I let her sleep without pajamas (underpants only) and with her favorite baby blanket if she prefers it that way. This is neutral to her health so why should I deny her having preferences?

I think a blankie or taggie does not cause any harm to anybody's health so why not let the boy have some comfort?

As for baby things - I saw my sister-in-law sucking her thumb in sleep in her late twenties. She is NT and successful. Using something "too baby" is a problem only when some bully makes a problem of it.