But it’s all about personality >.>

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She like their personality but can’t see dating them since they losers in. Her and societies eyes, she wants someone who’s ambitious, working a regular job and has a car, so they can tske places and out to eat

Not a bit about what personality she likes just about what the guy should have.

Here’s another one

She just wants a older guy with income
Bummer cause she kinda seemed like maybe ideal match until her what I’m looking for in a guy part

i have never used a dating site, or even checked them out.

it seems so desperate to me that people advertise their availability like animals looking for a home, but with a checklist of what they think they want.

why have they not met people who attract them in real life?

anyway, i have seen examples posted on this site by face of boo and others, and yes. they say "personality is the most important thing", but really they do not have a clear idea about what personality they like except for simple qualities like "dependability, confidence, sense of humor, kind nature" etc.

but they can meet a man with those qualities who has a "stale stench of abject poverty in their souls" which inhibits their interest, so they do not really know until they see it.

i am average looking and i have no personality to speak of.
i do not have a widely recognizable sense of humor.
i am seen as arrogant, rather than confident. some girls mistake the 2.

anyway, in my time, i have had many girls attracted to me.

they see that i seem to exude contendedness and a lack of stress.

they want to find out why.

if they can relieve their own painful experiences with emotions and drama and stuff by learning how i think, then they think they may be able to strive to attain that state.

when i tell them "i just do not care", they see the total absence of interest i have in things that may make them anxious, like how other people perceive them.

it is too long to completely describe, but the crux is that if you feel content and happy, people will sense it and want to somehow relieve themselves of their own angst by acquaintance with me.

yeah anyway, i am sick of talking about this matter

Explain this more. I’m confused.
What is abject poverty.

but they can meet a man with those qualities who has a "stale stench of abject poverty in their souls" which inhibits their interest, so they do not really know until they see it.

Liking someone ambitious isn’t so they “get taken out places to eat”, seems kind of misogynistic. It’s normal to like people who want to make something of themselves. I wouldn’t date someone who isn’t driven to succeed, because I am. I would get bored.

Women lean towards good interaction with people and a drive to succeed.

If some guy who doesn’t meet the above but somehow has a lot of money, women would still get bored. I would take a poor ambitious guy any day over a wealthy no hoper. I don’t think I’m in the minority of women, with the exception of any gold diggers.

"abject poverty" is total hopelessness.

some people have a sense about them that they are deeply unhappy despite them having all the qualities that the women say they desire.
when in the presence of these people one feels stifled i guess.

so i am sorry about the whimsical metaphor "stale stench of abject poverty in their souls". it was an attempt at a shakespearean description.

Dating sites are superficial, and the men-to-women ratio is extremely lopsided in the woman's favor. Meeting someone in real life is a totally different experience, and there are so many more things you can discover about someone, than by just looking at a picture (which has been cherry-picked, of course), and reading a short description (that usually only highlights the good qualities about someone).

Well said, and very true.

well said.

but someone with a lot of ambition who blunders their way from failure to failure, may lack the wit to achieve their ambition, and thus overestimate themself

"ambition" can be for many things.

it can be for "spiritual enlightenment" and other intangible mumbo-jumbo, or it can be to help others with no thought to cash generation to fuel their ambition, but my ambition was to amass enough cash to buy a house and live happily for the rest of my life doing what i want to do.

i achieved that, and now i have relinquished my urge to make more cash.

i do not have the funds to satisfy a diamond seeker, or a mink coat desirer, or a partner to go on world trips everywhere.

i never had a partner and i do not want to do those things, and if i did, i would make more money.

but even though my sights are set only high enough for my own self indulgence (financially), i could again capitalize on things i can solve to make more money. but i would not do so at the request of someone who want's me to buy her a diamond ring.

I know exactly what you mean. Ambition without intelligence or common sense is not attractive. Like someone who blows $100,000 on something stupid like a fish tank decorating business.

This is why “poor students” get girlfriends. They want to improve themselves and are making the steps to achieve it.

If you think you’re not good at anything, you haven’t tried enough things. If you’re happy being mediocre or worse, it’s going to be a lot harder to find someone than if you want to and are trying to improve and grow.

It’s an attitude thing. I’m going on a set diet plan starting from next week, and am searching for opportunities to make money. Had some decent success, but I like to think outside the box.

i do not see it in terms of "attractiveness", i see it in terms of "feasibility"


not sure i understand. do the girls want to "complete" the male so he can achieve his ambition?




well you know from an early age whether you are good at something in my opinion. i never pursued a notion if i did not like it more than for a few minutes. like painting. i can not do it, and so i will not try again.

but i am good at seeing connections between things and i knew that from an early age, so my interests have always revolved around that.
it's not a matter of going through a list and trying everything out to find what you are good at in my opinion.





too many competitors.....
i would not bother to try that market out unless you come up with a solution that has not already been thought of.
many people are looking for that "holy grail", but nothing really works well.

even lap band surgery and operational procedures.

there is a sense of "self reward" that comes with eating the food that is to your favorite taste in order to fill that emptiness in your stomach.
to fill it with some fibre preparation to fill the hole may ameliorate the hunger, but the reward factor has been totally unaddressed.

whatever. it has to be brain surgery when it is figured out where that reward centre is precisely located.

but that is a way off because all reward centers of the brain are located closely adjacent to each other, so precision and demarcation is of paramount importance.

i will be dead before that all happens, but there are many people willing to try new things if your marketing is well designed, but if it is a bogus solution (as they all are), then it will earn a bit of money and then dwindle before you make enough on the margins to even pay the suppliers for the stock.

any way i am done talking about all this.
i am obsessed with playing a difficult song.

Most people are mediocre, lol. The only people who care about "ambition" are smarmy elitists. Around here most folks are working class and don't give two s**ts how ambitious you are; have a 9-5 job, be decently attractive and fun to be around, be dependable, that's all they want.

My "ambitions" lie in my hobbies, not career paths. A job is nothing more to me than a means to an end. The things I want to do require money, but they don't make money.

I guess I’m a smarmy elitist then. Is that what working class people think? It’s not very fair.

Different demons. I wonder why people moan about a girlfriend and don’t care about improving. They probably wonder why I moan about business and don’t care about boyfriends.

It is.... unusual for a woman to be so obsessed with business and financial success. Maybe I have too much testosterone. Maybe I use business success to make up for failing socially. Who knows.

'Trys hard [sic]' is part of a personality, but anyway.
You find this woman's attitude unattractive; why is she relevant, therefore?
Should you not just skip her as you would any other person on a dating site who turned you off for whatever reason?

You're not ugly btw, Sly, unrelated to this but I saw your picture and your face is fine.

I don’t see why you care about people who don’t like you. If you would be happy for a girl to date you based on what you had instead of who you are, then I genuinely feel sorry for you.

I don’t think most women are like that, though. Gold diggers are a small % of women.

They like the sort of person who ends up getting a decent job and a car, a go getter who wants to do something with his life and has a drive to be independent. It’s not the same as gold digging, where they only date a person for material possessions.

If you just got a car and a house and didn’t change your attitude, you’d probably attract gold diggers and the relationship wouldn’t last anyway.

How is it different than gold digging?