I'm hated

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Hi all.

Today i realized my biggest problem is that i'm hated and unwanted.

I'm lonely, but it's ok to be lonely. My problem is different, i'm a hated person! Let me explain why i'm hated.

1- when i go out of home, it seems like other people are not interested with me. Lately people make less eye contact with me.

2- Lately nobody texts me or messages me on social media. Yes i dont have any friends, but it's because people dont want to know me!

3- when i was younger (in high school years) i was a more loved person. But none of my classmates messages me now

Please help.

My fears:
1- cant make friends in 1 year
2- cant make a girlfriend in 2 years
3- dying as virgin

I'm afraid if these happen

Last edited by Awkward on 07 Dec 2017, 7:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

If they really hated you, they probably would give you a lot of negative attention. I can relate to your experience, and I used to focus too much on thinking people were ignoring me. Truthfully, they're just wrapped up in their own lives. It's just them being in their own world and has nothing to do with you. You might be happier focusing on you and what makes you happy. Even though we need connection and are part of a larger world, looking for external rescue can lead to problems and a false sense of helplessness. Friends and a girlfriend will come when they come. You'll find your solutions in yourself.

People certainly do not hate you. If they hated you, you'd be getting non stop texts and comments on social media informing you of this.

You have no control over what people think of you. You also have no control over the future. Therefore all you can do is work on your failings and strengths and work to improve yourself as a person and hope that you bring others over to you as friends and acquaintances. Acquaintances will come and go. Friends will turn on you. You need to see it from the point of view of the people you are likely to meet in the street and at work. What attracts them to you? Do you dress well and are well groomed? Do you look people in the eye without staring at them? Do you make intelligent conversation? First impressions make a big impression and if you largely ignore people and don't look after your personal appearance, you are hardly likely to make any friends.

These couple lines stood out.

It takes two to not make eye contact.. if they're not making eye contact with you, you're equally not making eye contact with them. Maybe try focusing on making eye contact with others more.

Further to that, if you don't like the reaction you're getting from others you've got to start wondering what it is you're putting out there in your own body language, attitude, facial expressions, words etc. People are like mirrors.. they reflect back what we're putting out there. If you don't like what you're getting from others, you've got to stop and assess what it is you're putting out there.

Almost all young males worry about dying a virgin at some point. I think this common anxious depressive thought has biologically evolved to spur young men into taking action towards perpetuating the species.. meaning it's totally normal for you to have this thought. It's probably nothing you should worry about, though, as very few people will die virgins.

i've been in the same situation my whole life, it has taken me that long to realise the following :

- stop caring about what others think, do things that make you happy
- in the long term it is better for you as you will have done stuff you enjoy
- hanging on for other people to notice you never works and always wastes your time that you could've been spending doing/finding new things that you like ...

this also gives you situations to meet potentially like-minded people, just don't be dishonest about your interests as it shows.

This is a very astute point.

Hey, I know this may not make sense to a young person, but this social media and online communication (even what we're doing now) should not be your social life. It is a great outlet for people to have in circumstances where they feel most comfortable communicating this way, but if you are ABLE to MAKE EYE CONTACT at your age (hello!)...that is a great sign that you have good in-person social skills. You should try to find an in-person interest based group to be a part of. Probably more than one interest based group. You will naturally make friends (and enemies) there, and have a more rounded social life. Not just all texts and online stuff.

Look at your strengths, your interests, and work up from there. Don't wallow in what you think you can't do. What I am reading from your post is that you have more social potential than I think you give yourself credit for.