Do your parents get mad at you for being upset?

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My mom used to not do this. I would get upset and start worrying about stuff and she would be supportive and comfort me and now she acts cold about it so I have learned to keep it all bottled up and not go to her for my problems because she isn't going to care and she will just get mad about it. It's like being in a abusive relationship where you can't even trust your own partner fearing they will get upset with you and say they don't want to hear about it and act like you have a switch to turn off your feelings and change them into something else.

My guess she does this now is because she is done raising her kids and I am an adult now and she has moved on from being a parent. So she is like another person now in my life but not someone I am close to anymore.

Does anyone else have parents who get mad at them when they get stressed out or freak out or start getting worries, etc? Were they always like this or only when you became an adult?

And what is ironic about all this was I had to learn to talk about my feelings in therapy but now I am learning again I have to not talk about them. I even learned as a kid I had to keep them to myself and look what it did to me in 6th grade? Even my mom has expressed how she stopped expressing to my father about her feelings and now he is starting to listen and not dismiss them or shut her up but yet she does it to me. She sometimes makes me anxious now because of a change in her personality. I think I will just start pretending everything is fine and perfect and start acting since she doesn't care and even if she asks, why even tell her, just pretend everything is fine and pretend I don't know why I am upset or stressed out.

Yes and still yes. She calls me out as a "baby" and "over dramatic" when I'm crying or upset over things. Sometimes she even tells me to, "Suck it up and stop acting like a wounded puppy." when I tell her certain things that had upset me and my reasoning for being in tears.

Most of the time I try to hide my feelings from her since she's always making cruel commentary when I start crying or feel upset.

As a kid, yes. I had no right to feel upset, ever, and if I was caught crying, my mom would be furious with me, and tell me to shape up and smile, immediately.

Nowadays, thankfully, she is much more understanding and compassionate. But it took traumatic disasters in my life, and multiple diagnoses, before she finally realized I can't help feeling the way I do.

In my early twenties, my mom told me I shouldn't ignore my feelings and pretend they are not there. But this was how I function in life and get by. If I let it all out, my reactions would be inappropriate and she would begetting mad at me too about them. Then I would be "trying to be Asperger's" her words.

Then in my mid twenties she all of a sudden acted understanding when she agreed with what I was saying about how telling me to calm down doesn't work until the problem is solved. She said it's like expecting the fire to go out and not add water to it until it's calmed down.

My mom is weird.

My mother thinks all ASD is is being antisocial, and refuses to beleive otherwise.

She has never tried to understand how it effects me because of that. If I had a meltdown the solution would be to spank me with a belt until I stopped, and then more for punishment.
She lost it at the slightest hint of me being angry, and if I tried to protest I would only get in more trouble.
I would also be told I was talking aggresively or rudely and get in trouble for no reason. I was not talking differently as far as I noticed, and was not angry but I would just be told to stop lying and get in trouble,
She would force me to be social with people I didn't like, which only forced me into a shell for years.
She also never gave thought to sensory problems.
When it comes to food, Taste is a really big one for me. Texture is pretty big but not as important as taste (though this seems to be the opposite for most people). She would make me eat those foods I couldn't stand, saying that I should not be so picky. A few times she even made me re-eat said foods after I vomited trying to force them down. I frequently ended up sitting at the table for hours, and was not allowed to leave until I ate whatever was there.
When it came to sounds I would be told to stop being stupid, or stop exaggerating or making up problems or other things like that.

She isn't a bad person though. This post is focusing on the negatives only. There was a lot of things beyond our control screwing up my childhood and she was a really good parent overall and she gave a lot so I don't want to seem like I am saying she was a horrible parent or anything.

My mum gets pissed off at me for having feelings. She also likes to verbally abuse me if I do things that she disagrees with. I don't show any feelings of anger or sadness to her anymore. I guess she thinks it's okay to give me the cold shoulder and state the obvious to me. I took a 4 month break from visiting my folks last spring and summer. I told my mum my reasons for doing so the end of last April.

Once my father even hit me because I was crying. He can't stand seeing somebody upset, immediately gets aggressive. He's better now that he's older but anyway.

My mom used to become frustrated with me when my sensory issues or routine came into conflict with one thing or another. A small part of it is probably due to the fact that I didn't take the time to really spell things out for her. I thought I had, but looking back I can see that I didn't understand my issues well enough myself at the time to really explain to an outsider how my mind worked. Finding others who shared my experiences helped me find ways to articulate my needs better. It also helps that I have a heart problem that is triggered by my sensory issues. My mom might not understand that lights, noise, etc. make me uncomfortable, but it's easy enough to comprehend that whatever this "sensory dysfunction" is, it makes my heart-rate double that of a normal person's. I suppose it's been a blessing in disguise since it's given my mom some insight into just how chaotic I am on the inside. Though it's not my biggest issue, it gives her a window or an analogy through which she can understand why I need support, and I'll take what I can get.

Yes, frequently. I had a lot of frustration and anger as I was growing up as I wasn't always able to express myself fast enough, or sometimes at all, or explain why I didn't like something (usually a sensory issue). Prolonged exposure would inevitably cause a meltdowns. I would retreat to my room to try and calm down. My parents would follow me, and if I had locked the door, take the door handle off, come into the room and continue to scream at me about being stupid, odd, or having any sort of feelings.

Covering my ears, rocking, stimming or doing anything odd was not allowed. I was expected to be a good obedient robot with no feelings or desires of my own and to sit there and just take it.

My parents, and most extended family members, constantly got angry at me and criticized me for this too. Specially for having the "wrong" feelings in whatever situation, like complaining about certain foods or too much homework. One time, when I said "You're hurting my feelings," they said: "What feelings? You're a child!" (I was 8 or 9 at the time.) I had therapy when a few year later, from a shrink who was all about "feelings" ; yet she always took my parents' side, which effectively made her "the enemy".

So, my life became a battleground with all adults: they wanted to limit my life's pleasures (to keep me from getting spoiled, or something ), while I wanted to extract as much joy from life as possible. I "learned" this from a conversation I had with my parents. They once took me to a zoo on Saturday (as a reward for making the honor roll), and I also wanted to see a free car show on Sunday, where I could even go alone by city bus. They said no. Their explanation was: "You already had enough entertainment." Teachers also gave a lot of homework, which I "knew" was meant to make my life harder: by taking up my personal time, and by getting me in trouble at home if I did poorly on it.

This led me to believe that adults experience only two real feelings: joy/happiness and anger. All other feelings are fake: they're simply a product of meticulously fabricated body language and facial expressions, designed to show a specific feeling. While I later learned this was (mostly) untrue, I still have trouble understanding romantic feelings because of this, and want nothing to do with relationships for the rest of my life.

Oh yes. My mom was much more sympathetic when I was little but now, I can't talk about any problems I have because she will tell me it's nothing and say that her problems are way worse. I worry about everything and she will say it's irrational for me to get so sad and/or anxious about little things and then start yelling at me for not being more "normal".

Any boy in my family who was suffering from feelings was just quarantined until they got over it.

Depends on why I'm upset. If it's something they think is "an actual reason" to be upset they're very supportive, but if they see it as something that isn't worth getting upset over then there's no understanding at all. Isn't that what you call lack of empathy? Missing the ability to put themselves on someone else's position? Pretty much everyone I know is like this to some extent, which has led me to believe that only a very few people are able to emphatise with people in situations that they haven't faced themselves (and sometimes not even if they have.) In other words I think empathy is largely a product of experience.

Yes. Then she wanted me diagnosed with bipolar or a mood disorder because I had the audacity to show emotion once in a while and those emotions weren't always positive. My mom was always telling me I couldn't do things and when I possibly might have had a chance to do them, she would sabotage it.

They do, I just don't care what they think... Also helps if I am cutting one of them a paycheck.