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hale_bopp
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31 Dec 2017, 9:17 am

I’m sure there will be a flurry of “but I cannot do that because of x” and “that doesn’t work”, but thats the problem of the people moaning.

All of these require people to make an effort, though.

It seems a lot of people here have no idea where to start. Here are ways NT people often meet each other:

University
Work - Not ideal in some cases, my current job doesn’t offer anything for me socially, amd I think it’s better for me to keep it that way, but in the right job it’s basically “how to meet people and get a social life” on steroids. Especially for people under 25.
Message boards, social media and forums
Dating sites
Volunteer services
Hobbies such as sports and enthusiast groups
Through friends
Through family
Attending events and making the effort to talk to people
Sitting next to people on buses, trains and planes (I kid you not)
Talking to people in shops and services
Travelling overseas and locally in tour groups
Bus stops and places you have to wait at (I’m not lying)
Connecting via walking dogs
Parties - work and house
School
The hospital. I’ve had some great conversations with doctors, nurses and other patients.
Start something. A fundraiser, a cause, do something of your own idea for nothing.
Go and work overseas. If you’re not on medication this is easier.
Neighbours
If you have kids - other parents
Support groups
Pubs and clubs - though it’s often about luck.
Church

My NT sister met everyone she knows by the above. I don’t see it being much different for other people.

Feel free to add more.



The_Face_of_Boo
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31 Dec 2017, 9:38 am

In my own experience and by observing other people:

90% of friendships and groups are formed from school, university, workplace and night courses

The other 9% are from ex-dates/ex romance interests/ ex-fuckbuddies - but this is limited with the opposite sex only (if you are hetero).

Hobby groups? Nah, not much. I have one good friend from a hiking group but it obviously started as a romance interest from her part.

Gym? I’ve made a group of friends from it a couple of years ago, mostly girls, but it collapsed badly, they kept catfight each other and each wanted me to side with her side of story.... it was so horrible.
And nowadays everyone is putting earphones there.



Fireblossom
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31 Dec 2017, 9:59 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hobby groups? Nah, not much. I have one good friend from a hiking group but it obviously started as a romance interest from her part.


Depends on the hobby and the person; most of the friends I hang out with these days I've gotten through hobbies.



fluffysaurus
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31 Dec 2017, 1:47 pm

I think for the guys the'd have to be a bit careful talking to strangers. I do this all the time, on trains, in shops, but then nobody finds me intimidating or thinks I'm trying to come on to them.

There's an advert here where Martin Freeman starts talking to a young lady at a train station and she's happily talking back, it's obviously the beginning of a romance. BUT it's dark, there is nobody else around, she is on her phone and he starts commenting on what she's doing, then he starts looking at her like she's the most important thing in the world. EVERY sane woman would hit him with the phone and run off screaming. It's completely ridiculous.



Hopelessly3
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31 Dec 2017, 5:27 pm

concerts
football games (or other sports, depending on your area)

... good thing about these is you automatically have common interest ~ i love this band! i love this team!



ladyelaine
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31 Dec 2017, 6:43 pm

People are very cliquish at church and work. I never really had any common ground with classmates and the guys in my college classes were married or about to married. High school was cliquish. I have tried joining ministries at church and they are cliquish as previously mentioned. Most of the people I have encountered on the bus are creepy and weird. Guys at bars are usually pervy. All the guys at the gym are guys I went to school with and they are cliquish. I don't trust men not to take advantage of me because I have been taken advantage of before.



hale_bopp
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31 Dec 2017, 9:09 pm

^ If you think none of it is works, don’t do it and enjoy being alone. It’s simply ideas if people want to focus on something and give it a go.



Last edited by hale_bopp on 31 Dec 2017, 9:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hale_bopp
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31 Dec 2017, 9:12 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
I think for the guys the'd have to be a bit careful talking to strangers. I do this all the time, on trains, in shops, but then nobody finds me intimidating or thinks I'm trying to come on to them.

There's an advert here where Martin Freeman starts talking to a young lady at a train station and she's happily talking back, it's obviously the beginning of a romance. BUT it's dark, there is nobody else around, she is on her phone and he starts commenting on what she's doing, then he starts looking at her like she's the most important thing in the world. EVERY sane woman would hit him with the phone and run off screaming. It's completely ridiculous.


Generally buses and trains are busy and often its broad daylight. I’ve known two couples who are now married after meeting this way. It does not have to be a creepy situation at all.



Sabreclaw
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31 Dec 2017, 10:24 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I think for the guys the'd have to be a bit careful talking to strangers. I do this all the time, on trains, in shops, but then nobody finds me intimidating or thinks I'm trying to come on to them.

There's an advert here where Martin Freeman starts talking to a young lady at a train station and she's happily talking back, it's obviously the beginning of a romance. BUT it's dark, there is nobody else around, she is on her phone and he starts commenting on what she's doing, then he starts looking at her like she's the most important thing in the world. EVERY sane woman would hit him with the phone and run off screaming. It's completely ridiculous.


Generally buses and trains are busy and often its broad daylight. I’ve known two couples who are now married after meeting this way. It does not have to be a creepy situation at all.


It's really not an ideal place to look for girlfriends. I think the hobbies/work/university ideas are a bit more solid.



hale_bopp
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01 Jan 2018, 5:40 am

deleted. Duplicate post.



Last edited by hale_bopp on 01 Jan 2018, 5:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

hale_bopp
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01 Jan 2018, 5:42 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I think for the guys the'd have to be a bit careful talking to strangers. I do this all the time, on trains, in shops, but then nobody finds me intimidating or thinks I'm trying to come on to them.

There's an advert here where Martin Freeman starts talking to a young lady at a train station and she's happily talking back, it's obviously the beginning of a romance. BUT it's dark, there is nobody else around, she is on her phone and he starts commenting on what she's doing, then he starts looking at her like she's the most important thing in the world. EVERY sane woman would hit him with the phone and run off screaming. It's completely ridiculous.


Generally buses and trains are busy and often its broad daylight. I’ve known two couples who are now married after meeting this way. It does not have to be a creepy situation at all.


It's really not an ideal place to look for girlfriends. I think the hobbies/work/university ideas are a bit more solid.


I didn’t mention looking for a girlfriend. I said meeting people. Look for a girlfriend on dating sites and tinder. Look for people to meet and find a girlfriend through socialising and networking in the process these ways.

Most girls are extremely put off by guys looking for a girlfriend. They just want to be treated as regular people.

Also take the forum option seriously. Over the past 17 years I’ve known thousands of people who got laid, relationships, married from meeting on message boards.

I kid you not. 1000s. It’s a very lucrative way to get to know people in a less biased environment than a dating site.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Jan 2018, 6:26 am

^

And I am Alexander the Great who commands 1000s.



hale_bopp
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01 Jan 2018, 4:54 pm

I noticed the people who complain a lot in here have not responded, what a surprise. I don’t think they want help, only to complain.

I’ll sniff the face of boos old socks if Markins comes in here and says “Hey, I’ll give it a go”.



Adam55
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01 Jan 2018, 5:42 pm

meeting people isn't the issue for me, it's just what to say.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Jan 2018, 6:33 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I noticed the people who complain a lot in here have not responded, what a surprise. I don’t think they want help, only to complain.

I’ll sniff the face of boos old socks if Markins comes in here and says “Hey, I’ll give it a go”.


You seem to be obsessed with my dirty underwear.

Ew.



honeymiel
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01 Jan 2018, 6:49 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
In my own experience and by observing other people:

90% of friendships and groups are formed from school, university, workplace and night courses



And this is why it's important to use social media and reconnect with people. You can actually find friendships in people you once knew - I make extra effort to keep up with people (even if only every 6-12 months). I learned this from a childhood friend who kept up with me as a teenager and ended up being an invaluable companion.

Some people will fade away, but many also come and go from your life if you make a bit of extra effort to initiate occasionally. I find people have a bit of an ego or are too proud to initiate, but it will cost you those friendships permanently if you don't at least try