Driving, and Learning to Drive

Post Reply New Topic

(Hi everyone, I’m new and quite possibly have this in the wrong topic area, so sorry if I have! This question may also have been posted a million times; sorry about that too.)

I’m wondering how easy or otherwise everyone found it to learn to drive, and whether you felt you had a natural aptitude/found it extremely challenging. Also, how do you cope and react with unexpected road-related situations, such as the incompetence or dangerous actions of others drivers, animals on the road, etc. Plus, how do you cope with the changeability? I imagine I’ll panic when there isn’t a clear or ‘correct’ rule or reaction to certain aspects of it.

I’m eager to learn for many reasons, however I think I’m either going to be great, or the worst driver in history. I’m not the best with multitasking, and I’m extremely worried that all of the busyness and vigilance required will put me into sensory overload. Also, do you consider yourself to be a good driver, or do you constantly feel on edge regarding either your own ability, or what other road users may do?

Thanks in advance!

Depends on how ASD affects you.

For me, learning to drive (not knowing I had ASD at the time) wasn't a problem at all. May have slightly helped with the written test for the learners since I love knowing the rules for everything, including the road.

One thing that I have found is that, since I have some trouble multitasking, I do have to be extra careful about distractions when driving.

I have been a professional driver now on 35 years and have come to the point of; 'Just let it go.'
If someone were to cut in front of me then so what, I will most likely never see that person again, anyway I do not even know them.
Drivers do really crazy things on the road as you can see by this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCy-QaLTSDk

You are nothing like the guys on the video.

Much love ...... Bob

Yes, this topic can keep you reading for days in the archives. You may find my response there.

I can't even get a driver's licence because of my disability, but if I could then I think the biggest problem I'd face would be unexpected situations caused by animals and other drivers. Not only would I have to decide what to do in those situations, I would have to decide fast, so I'm a little glad I'm not allowed to drive even though it's often rather inconvinient... but well, maybe the stress brought by the idea that something like that could happen is worse than the situations themselves, who knows.

since you live in the UK it is probably a given, but learning to drive on a manual tends to lessen the likelihood that you'll be distracted by the phone, or by fiddling with the stereo/air-con since you'll have to use both hands and feet to drive. even here in the US where few people drive stick, it's a tactic used by parents to prevent their newly licensed kids from getting in a crash because of distractions...but hopefully that's not a problem for you.

OTOH, manual might be worse for you if you're bad at multitasking, but i don't know how it affects you exactly. all i can say is, i drive an auto and i've certainly caught myself getting a little too distracted by the stereo or just generally daydreaming. at least it mostly happens when i'm stopped i guess.

as for me, i thought i was a natural born driver while i was learning, and soon thereafter got a rude awakening when it took me four attempts to pass the exam. i still don't consider myself anything more than average for my age, but i'm very comfortable behind the wheel. perhaps more than i should be, considering i drive a 28 year old japanese deathtrap with no airbags, 4 year old walmart tires in need of an alignment, and those weird 80s motorized seatbelts that are barely there.

in my experience, the highways are much less nerve wracking than the city, people seem to be less willing to pull off stupid stunts when they're cruising at 70 (MPH) instead of commuting at 25. straighter, with less stops and intersections and better for your car to boot.

i have reacted quickly to unforeseen obstacles in the past like accidents in the other lane or animals running onto the road, and i have a flawless record so far apart from parking violations (knockonwood) but it hasn't been a frequent occurrence so i'm still rather untested. hope it stays that way to be honest.

i hear the driving test is brutal in the UK compared to the US, so i wish you luck and many accident free miles.

I love driving and find it very relaxing and therapeutic. Perhaps that is because it requires total concentration on the task in hand. At least, it does if you want to do it properly. Sadly, the most important thing for many people whilst they are driving are their conversations with their passengers, their thoughts about the meeting they are going to, or listening to the music on the radio. The actual driving is well down their list of priorities. Once I start driving though I get so engrossed in the task that nothing else intrudes into my thoughts.

I managed to pass my test first time but I had to have a lot of lessons before my instructor even suggested that I apply for the test. I had all sorts of problems at first. I always got my hands muddled when trying to do pull-push steering. I could never work out which hand needed to move first or in which direction. I had a lot of difficulty judging speed and distance; the first time my instructor asked me to stop at a particular point I missed it by a long way. I bashed the tyres against the pavement on numerous occasions and frequently scrunched the gears.

I thought I would never be able to pass the test and was very surprised when I passed first time. That was thirty five years ago. Since then I have always had a clean license and currently have maximum no claims discount on my insurance. I still manage to scrunch my gears at least once every journey but I think my driving is good and safe. There is still plenty for me to learn though even after thirty five years.

When it comes to dangerous or incompetent driving by others I find it is best to just keep out of their way. Good observation helps avoid many problems in the first place which is why it is important that the actual driving task should take priority over everything else. I find I can often tell when someone else is about to do something silly, so I just hold back a bit and let them go, or slow down and let them overtake. Then I can just go back to enjoying myself knowing they are no longer a menace to me.

A good attitude will often keep you safe. Reacting to the things other people do may well turn a minor incident into a dangerous one. There are lots of videos on YouTube demonstrating this. Some of the people who post footage from their dashcams are bigger idiots than the drivers they are complaining about. It would be easy to come to the conclusion that roads are appallingly dangerous places from watching this stuff, but in reality they are not and good observation and anticipation can keep you well away from any trouble.

I think finding the right instructor is very important. I was very lucky that the first one I tried was very patient with me after my very shaky start. This was long before Asperger's was even in the diagnostic literature so I had no diagnosis and there were of course no instructors with any knowledge of the condition. There do at least seem to be some specialist instructors now who should be able to understand the sort of issues you may have. A good instructor who understands your needs will start you off gently and allow you to take as much time as you need to gain experience and to get used to all the stuff that is going on around you when driving.

Who knows, you may find you're a natural once you get behind the wheel. Or you might be like me and find yourself wondering if you will ever be able to do it. Although it was hard work at times I'm certainly very glad I stuck with it. My life would have been very different if I had given up since being able to drive gives me the freedom to do most of the things I want to do.

I love driving, I've always been into cars so it sort of came naturally, started my driving lessons in October 2016, passed my theory test (1st time) in February 2017 and passed my practical test (3rd time) in July 2017.
I don't really find driving too challenging, if you simply look at where you're going, assess any potential hazards ahead and use your mirrors when turning and changing lanes you'll be fine.

And don't let other drivers pressure you into driving faster or pulling out when it isn't safe etc. Drive at a speed you feel that you can comfortably and safely control the car at and don't do anything when you feel that it isn't safe.

Don't let the thought of driving intimidate you, the freedom and independence that having your own car gives is brilliant.

My parents started teaching me how to drive when I was 6. They would have me manipulate the steering wheel. When I was 11/12, my Father let go of the steering wheel completely and yelled "Drive!" while we were on a two lane cliff road being passed by giant semis zipping around corners in the other direction.

After that, the rest of driving was easy. Nothing really got as scary as that, yet anyway. I've been in several accidents where other drivers have run me off the road or ran into me. I'm very confident in my ability, I can drive very well and I've got good reaction times. I always keep calm, because panicking just makes a workable situation into an unworkable one. Besides, I'm in a giant protective box, I drive carefully, I always am scanning the road and my mirrors, so the odds of getting seriously injured are pretty slim. I do get a little anxious from time to time, I have been in many accidents after all, but it's solely because I don't trust the other drivers. But I remind myself that whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and there's nothing I can do to stop it from coming. I can alter it in the moment, but I can't stop it. I know that for certain because in my life I've done everything to the letter and put forth so much effort in "making sure" nothing could go wrong but still things did.

You have to just relax, trust yourself, and drive safely. I play music extra loud, it acts as a kind of wall of vibration keeping all the negative thoughts away and the bad vibes from angry drivers out of my car.

It took me 3 years of driving lessons before I passed my driving test. I kept forgetting the little things, like looking in the mirror or checking the speed limit thing. The thing what frightened me the most was driving along a slightly bent road with lots of parked cars one side. Although I'd drive slowly, I kept thinking a car will come the opposite way at a fast speed and crash right into me, causing a critical accident.

That is one of the reasons why I just stick to getting the bus. But at least I have a drivers license there for whenever I decide to get a car in the future.

It took me a few years to learn how to drive. I took driver's ed in high school and private lessons. I have a lot of trouble with the multitasking aspect of driving, personally. I do have a license, but I don't have a car and I very rarely drive. I think that I'm a decent driver when I drive, but I do get distracted easily and very, very anxious behind the wheel. It causes me a lot of stress to drive (especially on my own), so I normally avoid it. I'm also not good with the unpredictability. I panic in situations I do not expect, so driving is a struggle. It depends on the person though, I know lots of people with ASD are great drivers.

Passed 3rd time.

I love being in my car as I shut myself away from the world, listen to podcasts and music. But I do only drive routes I know, and satnav feels like a lifesaver, I could never drive into a new city, once I don't know where I am I find myself getting overwhelmed and there is too much going on for me to take it all in. Needed to go to Northamptonshire yesterday so let my wife drive us there in my car, she is a very confident driver.

I am only in Berkshire but would never drive to London, once you go past around junction 5 of the M4 it becomes chaos. Also never drive in airports, there are signs and instructions everywhere, you cannot slow down as the flowing traffic is constant and there are endless lanes and turnings off. It's just an overload of information.

I haven't gotten my license yet or have driven anything before but the thought of it absolutely terrifies me. When I get to go to therapy, I'll mention that fear.

It's just one of the things I just find extremely uncomfortable to do, like swimming.

Last edited by MariaTheFictionkin on 27 Jan 2018, 5:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I have driving licence but i don't drive. I don't have a car. I have slow reactions - I saw road sign, but I responded too slowly, bad distance estimation, multitasking is for me problem too. Often I am confused from drivers as walker, that i dont know if they will stop or go, because sometimes they accelerate and then stop. I was careful driver, I went slowly, maybe too slowly.

The theoretical exam did not trouble me, but exam with driving car was difficult for me. Twice I failed, third try was successful. I had extra lessons, I also took a ride back when someone else had a lesson. Before exam I learned crossroads in my city from photos, satelite or aerial photo maps.

OP I for one dislike driving life Driving can be scary and sadly many people lose their life in vehicle accidents

I didn’t learn to drive until my mid twenties. Apart from me hacing no desire to drive. There were all these rules but no one follows them so I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t realize until later that not driving is weird (I live in America).