Do you feel comfortable going out alone?

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avxscott
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26 Jan 2018, 8:57 pm

Do you feel comfortable going to places by yourself? If so, have you always been or did you become comfortable with it on your own? If not, why, and what do you do to try to deal with it? I've been struggling with the whole thing for a while, and I was wondering what other people's experiences have been. :o

I want to try to go places alone and be a little more independent. I'm dreaming big already (solo vacation? :o) but just learning to be comfortable walking around the neighborhood by myself would be a big step. Hell, even being comfortable when I have to go to another part of a store alone for some reason would be nice.

I tried to describe how I feel about it, but it ended up really wordy, so I guess I'll just sum it up: I'm sort of an anxious, semi-functional sentient mess?

Part of what I worry about is normal-ish stuff like getting attacked or being in a car accident and other stuff like that. The other (really big) part is about how I am. I get easily anxious in public or around strangers, I go semi-nonverbal when I'm anxious, and I'm afraid of offending or worrying someone when I can't properly answer them. I can be kind of spacey or oblivious, which can be dangerous. I'm also scared of having a meltdown or shutdown in public and embarrassing myself :oops: (or maybe worse)

If I'm alone, I don't have anybody to help me do things I need/want to do, stay safe, or to keep me from panicking, which is feeling more and more like a huge roadblock to actually doing anything ever. :(



Dear_one
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26 Jan 2018, 9:15 pm

I have seldom gone out any other way. I took a bicycle tour in a foreign country for two months. It is very rare for anyone to want to go with me.



livingwithautism
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27 Jan 2018, 5:15 pm

I have Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia. No I don't feel comfortable going out alone. I also don't have the skills to navigate out in public alone.



MariaTheFictionkin
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27 Jan 2018, 5:23 pm

NO! and I prefer to have someone with me when I go somewhere. Being both misanthropic and socially anxious makes even walking the trash outside really uncomfortable doing it alone.

My soulbonds try to be helpful in these sort of situations but I feel like I need a physical body to aid me sometimes. Regardless, I still manage to get around alone despite the anxiety. My mother on the other hand...scolds me for not wanting to go into a populated area like a fast food place or the grocery store alone... We literally had a fight over how uneasy I was about going into Burger King and ordering food. She tells me to grow up and stop acting like a baby even though I have social anxiety... and maybe even agoraphobia.

What I also HATE is when my mother tells me that we're going to go into a store TOGETHER and ends up making me go alone... It makes me want to cry so much...


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hobojungle
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27 Jan 2018, 6:16 pm

avxscott wrote:
Do you feel comfortable going to places by yourself? If so, have you always been or did you become comfortable with it on your own?


I don’t feel comfortable going places, but when I do go places, I want to be alone. I’ve always been this way. I need to be able to move about freely without explanation/justification. Human companionship has been more of a hindrance than a help in my experience.



AquaineBay
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27 Jan 2018, 6:18 pm

I really hate going out alone! It makes me anxious and especially if someone asks me to go to the store for them! I struggle with fast food restaurants and my mother at times makes passive-aggressive remarks about not having anyone to go get fast food for her.

Most of the time when I'm by myself I tend to avoid people because I'm afraid of people's intentions or that I will make myself look like a fool.


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kraftiekortie
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27 Jan 2018, 6:37 pm

I like going out alone better than I like going out with people.

I get a little anxious if I am in an unfamiliar place.



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27 Jan 2018, 6:42 pm

I like going out alone, when I am all prepared for it it makes me feel very peaceful.

I do find the sensory stuff more overwhelming on my own, another person I feel safe with seems to help distract me and helps more than hinders me. I probs count my mum, sister or boyfriend as the only ones who make it less stressful not more.

I hate making eye contact with cashers, and the noise and lights are hard so I wear noise cancelling headphones, go to self checkout when I can, and look at the floor to help with the light. I won't speak or make eye contact with anyone. If I go on a walk I will often again avoid people, headphones help with that ahah. I don't really feel awkward about ignoring people so I just do that most of the time ahah.

If it is somewhere I don't know I always make sure I can contact someone who can help me if I get lost and that I have Google maps on my phone working so I can find my way. My sense of direction is tragic.



Edna3362
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27 Jan 2018, 9:09 pm

More like I prefer going out alone so I could decide things on my own.

Going out with someone else means some extra work of taking account of their decisions. Depending who I'm with, there's also their own set of 'standards', and other things like what they want or how fast their pace is.
Regardless who they are, I'd mainly make them decide where to go in their own pace. Unless the purpose of going out with other people is guiding them elsewhere, or another responsibility I'm taking.

If things were entirely up to me, I'd likely leave them on a whim. Unless they are the ones who are aimless and in need for a guide.

Unlike when I was younger, a company would used to 'ground' my senses and orientation. It's that feeling of not being lost and aimless, a familiar face as a 'checkpoint' or compass of sorts.
Now, it's likely going to restrain me than aid me unless it's a straight forward purpose of guiding me elsewhere. :| And I don't like it if said company sees me as another responsibility. :x I don't like making people worry, and I don't like people who are worried enough to meddle.


External stimuli and sense of direction isn't a problem to me. Social skills isn't a problem so far, so I could bother some people with some things for whatever practical purpose.
That's why I didn't need much of a company as a grounding medium of sorts even at unfamiliar places. So I could practically go anywhere I'm allowed to go alone without being lost and/or overwhelmed.


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27 Jan 2018, 10:26 pm

I feel a lot more comfortable if I'm with somebody when out, I feel like a more valid person if that makes sense. Like, I deserve to be there like everybody else does rather than some weird annoying thing that is in everybody else's way. I feel like I'm part of a team, in a sense.

But in contradiction, I am an introvert so will often prefer to just go somewhere by myself and do the thing alone because social interaction is hard and tiring.

I would never go to the cinema or travelling by myself, but I prefer to go shopping alone because then I can browse however I want for as long as I want and not feel self-conscious that the other person will judge me, and also I can concentrate more on what I am supposed to be looking for.


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Dear_one
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28 Jan 2018, 12:51 am

I don't feel comfortable going alone to places where almost everyone is paired or in a larger group. They are often too boring without extra commentary, too. I'm also very hesitant about joining a loose group if I don't know anyone there. I didn't like shopping at the local farmer's market until someone there knew my name. My hope is that if I leave and someone remarks on my oddities, someone will defend me.
I was once visiting a local redneck, and a more recent resident of different hue just walked by the house. "He's looking for things to steal" I was told. "No, he works at the Credit Union" I replied, possibly saving a lot of trouble.



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28 Jan 2018, 12:53 am

Not a problem with me.


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