Paranoia

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I feel like people are all out to get me. I even feel like my own family members are enemies. The other night I thought people were directing derisive messages at me via commercials. I thought that my older brother had chatted with producers for major commericals, and told them how ridiculous I am. I also thought, because of that, the producers decided to make commercials directed at me in order to mock me. It was really extreme. It was so immensely personal, too. I thought that they were making fun of my former tardive dyskinesia and my interest in Tony Robbins. And my interest in nutrition and health. When I was having a meltdown about it, I must have made my older brother and wife uncomfortable. I was saying how I would rock that guy (from the commercial) in a fight. It was pretty bad. But it was also so incredibly humiliating; delusions and all. I want to scream right now.

Are you seeing a psych about this I fell into a psychotic depression after me & my 1st girlfriend broke up. I believed bad things were going on with her that likely weren't. I felt like she was doing bad things to herself to get back at me; she did have issues with drugs & alcohol & I tried to get her to quit before we became a couple because she was my friend & she wanted to stop. i also thought that the medical industry who misdiagnosed or just missed my issues were really corrupt & evil. I thought my parents were plotting something really bad against me because I was having a hard time getting along with them; we didn't get along well since I was little but it was worse cuz they felt I should be more independent & my depression was really interfering. At one point I thought maybe TV messages were talking to me. I felt like I was literally some kind of alien from another planet or that everyone around me was an alien or some kind of hologram or robot... Anyways going to a psych & getting on meds did help hold me together as I made changes that helped my depression & the paranoia gradually lifted as my depression did.

Yes I am seeing a psych doc about it. But I'm still feeling uneasy and paranoid. I voluntarily admitted myself to a psych ward and the meds were raised. I was also put on a different med. They help, and I am feeling better. But I still get paranoid, delusional and hallucinatory occasionally. I wonder if the meds just need to be in my system for a longer period of time. I know they are cumulative. So maybe once they are more built up in my system I will feel drastically better. Hopefully...

Paranoia can be extremely disruptive on a daily basis. Mine seems very likely linked in with social anxiety, as I can become extremely paranoid/suspicious of strangers in public places, who I feel are talking about me, watching me, mocking me. What I think really is going on with that scenario is that the surge of adrenaline and nerves as my anxiety increases exhumes and projects my own self-destructive thoughts I've attempted to bury onto these anonymous people, as though social anxiety were some grave robber of the mind.
Hm, well that turned out strangely Lovecraftian. Anyway, paranoia sucks. By it's very nature it comes on strongly... it's so difficult to tame down once whatever thread of thought it's peddling gets stuck into the situation.