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bobaspie2015
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10 Mar 2018, 9:11 pm

My brother hates me because I am gay. For as long as I can remember, I’ve known I am attracted to other guys. My one of three brothers found out many years and became extremely angry with me and has not talked to me for a sum of 20 years or so.
Should I stop being gay so he will talk with me?



Raleigh
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10 Mar 2018, 9:37 pm

How does one stop being gay?

Maybe he should stop being so heterosexual and meet you half way.


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Max1951
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11 Mar 2018, 8:19 am

bobaspie2015 wrote:
My brother hates me because I am gay. For as long as I can remember, I’ve known I am attracted to other guys. My one of three brothers found out many years and became extremely angry with me and has not talked to me for a sum of 20 years or so.
Should I stop being gay so he will talk with me?


It is very nice of you to be concerned with your brother's feelings regarding your sexuality. It shows that you love your bro and that you want to be on better terms with him. But the gay thing is your brother's problem and not yours.

Being gay is like being left-handed in a right handed world. It is not something that you did or that you chose. And you can not choose to be heterosexual any more than your brother can choose to be gay.

So it is all right to be gay. The only problem is that it makes you different than the normal. Some people have difficulties with people who are different. The only thing that you can do is to be the best person that you know how to be and hope that they can see that, like everyone else, you only want to be loved and to love in return.

So my advice is to ignore his problem with your sexuality, and love him in spite of it. One day he will understand what a blessing it is to have a caring, loving brother like you.



smudgedhorizon
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11 Mar 2018, 8:31 am

Show him this


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Spiderpig
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11 Mar 2018, 8:34 am

You have every right to be gay and he has every right to hate you.


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smudgedhorizon
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11 Mar 2018, 9:17 am

Maybe you personally know gay people your brother would have respect for? Like, if you still communicate, would you mind introducing your brother to someone or telling him about some person who has great achievements? Don't tell him that person is gay. Make him a fan of that person. Later on, you can mention that the person is actually gay.

I don't know your brother but perhaps your brother is fond of music, theatre, football etc? In Australia, there are surfers, horse races, people who preserve cultural heritage of the natives, people who make Australia famous, people who save endangered species? Maybe in that realm are gay people.

Whom does your brother already respect?


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Spiderpig
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11 Mar 2018, 9:24 am

People really don’t like being told what to think or feel. If his brother wants to hate him, he will hate him no matter what. I think the wisest course of action is to just leave him alone to merrily keep treasuring his hate.


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bobaspie2015
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11 Mar 2018, 6:14 pm

Max1951 wrote:
bobaspie2015 wrote:
My brother hates me because I am gay. For as long as I can remember, I’ve known I am attracted to other guys. My one of three brothers found out many years and became extremely angry with me and has not talked to me for a sum of 20 years or so.
Should I stop being gay so he will talk with me?


It is very nice of you to be concerned with your brother's feelings regarding your sexuality. It shows that you love your bro and that you want to be on better terms with him. But the gay thing is your brother's problem and not yours.

Being gay is like being left-handed in a right handed world. It is not something that you did or that you chose. And you can not choose to be heterosexual any more than your brother can choose to be gay.

So it is all right to be gay. The only problem is that it makes you different than the normal. Some people have difficulties with people who are different. The only thing that you can do is to be the best person that you know how to be and hope that they can see that, like everyone else, you only want to be loved and to love in return.

So my advice is to ignore his problem with your sexuality, and love him in spite of it. One day he will understand what a blessing it is to have a caring, loving brother like you.


Wow! You are beautiful. I have never had such deep wisdom spoken to me. Thank you.



Andrewdarr
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11 Mar 2018, 6:20 pm

Don't try to change for other peoples' sake. Be true to yourself. There is nothing wrong with being gay, and anyone who believes otherwise isn't worthy of your friendship/kinship. If my brother hated me for being the way I am I would turn my back on HIM.



bobaspie2015
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11 Mar 2018, 6:30 pm

smudgedhorizon wrote:
Maybe you personally know gay people your brother would have respect for? Like, if you still communicate, would you mind introducing your brother to someone or telling him about some person who has great achievements? Don't tell him that person is gay. Make him a fan of that person. Later on, you can mention that the person is actually gay.

I don't know your brother but perhaps your brother is fond of music, theatre, football etc? In Australia, there are surfers, horse races, people who preserve cultural heritage of the natives, people who make Australia famous, people who save endangered species? Maybe in that realm are gay people.

Whom does your brother already respect?


He respects Dad because Dad gave him whatever he asked for, sadly Dad passed away 22 years ago.
Other than Dad, my brother has no respect for anyone.



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11 Mar 2018, 8:45 pm

No there is nothing wrong with it.

Also I think you should keep being you, and maybe some day your brother will realize he was wrong. Basically in this situation i say he is in the wrong and it is up to him to learn to accept the way you are or not, if he chooses not to speak to you again that is on him...not saying to be rude or anything but don't worry about pandering to him, just continue your life and perhaps someday he will come around. But its no use living in a way that makes you unhappy to try and please him. You could certainly try to reach out to him, but he might reject it....i mean if it has been that long its possible he has re-thought things and maybe would like contact but doesn't know how to approach it so it can be worth a try but he may still be stuck in his ways.


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Spiderpig
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11 Mar 2018, 9:19 pm

I’d never expect anyone to “realize they were wrong”.


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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11 Mar 2018, 9:37 pm

Raleigh wrote:
How does one stop being gay?

Maybe he should stop being so heterosexual and meet you half way.


I like your sense of humour. :)



elbowgrease
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12 Mar 2018, 7:03 pm

There is nothing at all wrong with being gay. And if your brother, family, anyone can't deal with it, that's really their problem.
Sometimes, I think, it's good to learn to love people from a distance, and hope they might broaden their horizons a bit.



Andrejake
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14 Mar 2018, 8:55 am

I understand that being rejected by a dear family member can make you feel bad, but, as "elbowgrease" just said before, if someone doesn't agree with it it's their problem. I know that it may sound harsh, but it's actually a simple truth.

It's ok if a person doesn't want to agree with it, but he needs to understand that the reasons he has to dislike it are completely personal and have absolutely no logic behind it (I mean that it's not something that is proven to make any harm to someone, to the point of justifying being "against it").

So yeah, dealing with our own sexuality is something hard enough even without worrying about other's people feelings. So take care and be comfortable with yourself first. After that, you might start thinking about others (although you shouldn't).



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28 Mar 2018, 2:20 pm

You have every right to be gay. Be yourself and not let anyone interfere.


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