Personal thread: the baby issue again

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The topic of children has come up again, because I have an iud and I realized today I miscalculated how long it's been in there and it's been in a year too long! Im calling the doctor tomorrow to get it removed ASAP. My husband has been having bad issues and I don't know if he could still even father a child, but at 35 and him at 56 we would really be older parents! I am close to hopefully having a job to support a kid and last mental health visit they said they would happily adjust my medications if I went that route, but I still don't know what to do with this situation!

The IUD took a huge toll on me and I felt 100% better in mind emotionally and energy levels once it was removed. I’m thinking this post is about WANTING a kid? I’m not sure but good luck

IUD's, in my experience, are things that really hurt women.

My mother had one when I was a kid. It hurt her so much that she had to get surgery to remove the IUD. This was in the early 1970s.

I think you should have serious misgivings about parenthood. Wait until you have succeeded at the job for, say, six months or a year. Raising a child is an entire job in itself - meaning a person who has a full-time job is doing essentially two jobs. I'm unclear to what extent your husband will be able to co-parent, so there's that variable also.

Sure, get the out-dated IUD out but use another form of contraception until you're sure. Don't pull an "oops" pregnancy.

Don't think that life will just work itself out if you have a child and that you'll be always glad you had them. That might be the case, but it can also be really quite grim.

My experience: My partner really wanted children, and even though I resisted for a long time because I thought I could not realistically cope mentally and physically, they persuaded me that they would care for me if and when I couldn't step up. It proved too much for them, we are now separated. I love my kids, and logically cannot regret the decision that led me to have them, but I can't keep a job down (or do anything much else) and care for my kids at the same time. Life is a struggle unanticipated by anything I experienced before.

I agree, see if you can keep a job down long term first. Also, late 30s is really not so old to be a parent.

Birth control for women us dangerous. Have him wear a raincoat.....afterall he should take responsibility too.

I agree with this. I also think contraception is REALLY tricky for women onthe spectrum. I don't handle medications/hormones well at all and that was how I fell pregnant with my daughter. Thing is, pregnancy, childbirth and childraising is even trickier! I think juggling life changes with having kids is quite tricky, but if you can see what having a job looks like for you and keep working on your mental health then see how it goes.

Having kids is rewarding, but it makes it so hard to get what you need when you have the complexity that ASD brings into life. Lots of women on the spectrum thrive having kids, but I'm not one of them. I'm a good mother, but it's very, very hard on me and my husband (he carries any extremely disproportionate load compared to a lot of working spouses with a stay at home partner).