Hypothetical question? Sexually active aspie son/daughter?

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Hypothetical question? Sexually active aspie son/daughter what do you think as parents?

https://www.quora.com/unanswered/As-par ... lly-active

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/inde ... 752AASruOU

I believe in a correlation between responsibility and freedom. The more responsibility my children will take the more freedom they have. By responsibility in this case I mean ensuring they use appropriate protection (to avoid unwanted pregnancy or STDs), and ensuring they take care of their mental and physical health. Besides that when they start having boyfriends / sex it will be their choice and their realm of control.

But you will not tell me that you would be happy if you found out that your cute sweet aspie child is sexually active, and doing naughty things with his/her partner

How is the question different for parents of aspies vs nt kids? Other than the obvious interpersonal issues, as long as they understand their own limitations (every person has limitations) and how to get help when they need it, I don't understand how it's different.

I hope that I can teach my children to respect others and to surround themselves with people who respect others. Like elsapelsa, I hope we're moving towards increasing responsibility and independence in the long term.

Heh, heh, I wonder how long it'll take for the first answer involving shotguns, kicking sons out to fend for themselves and locking up daughters so no lout will try to soil them again.

Why on earth not? As long as she is not peer pressured or pushed to do things she is uncomfortable with I would be absolutely fine with that. I will be fine with her having boys stay over or boys join us on holiday etc. But then what are we talking about here when we say child?

To me, the only kind of responsibility that has ever clearly warranted access to sex, or even to romantic relationships is to be already completely independent from your parents, financially and in every other way. Right up to such time, they're still entitled to set whatever rules they want for you, and hence, don't have any obligation to grant you the ultimate privileges of adulthood. Meanwhile, tough titty and hard, angsty, release-deprived nether parts.

Oh, and this is assuming you don't acquire a commitment to stay celibate as part of your livelihood, of course

Yes, we are never really going to agree on that. I boarded a ship to another country at 15 weighing 5.5 stone with all my earthly belongings. I lived alone. I got myself sorted out. I fed myself. Stopped being anorexic almost instantly. I went to school. I got straight A's and I got a full scholarship for a phD. I didn't have bedtimes or rules about how I lived, who I hung out with, if and who and how I f****d! I believe in independence. I believe my parents should congratulate me on weathering the storm of my teenage years, dealing with life, sorting myself out and being strong. But they don't. They can't dissociate what happened from their failure to contain me and from their failure to be parents. So I do....congratulate myself, that is. It works quite well. But it took me ages to work out that it would need to be "me" who did it as I thought they would eventually get it and tell me what I needed to hear.

I will not be that kind of mum. I will "see" my children, "see" their needs, and congratulate them when they take responsibility for their lives even if it doesn't suit my hopes and dreams for them.

I don't like the idea of adulthood being granted or seen as ultimate privileges. Adulthood is something people should constantly aspire to. The eternal struggle to become.

You should read Nietzeche, genealogy of morals, essay 2.

Sorry, read that back and it sounds fairly ranty. I guess my point is I lived with my mum and it didn't make me feel very good. It took her 3 years to realise I was anorexic and when she did she was incapable of dealing with it. Living with her led me to behave irresponsibly. She is made of different stuff from me and she doesn't get me. It would have been highly irresponsible of me to let her be in charge of my life or continue along that trajectory. I love her and we have a good relationship now but would I ever let her be in charge of me? No, never ever.

And what if it turns out that your boy likes other boys ?
As it was in my case when I was 15 and my friend was from me a year younger, we meet in therapeutic camps for kids with ADHD, Autism, anxiety, and stuff like that
It later turned that he was there because ADHD, and more specifically for calling his Polish/English teacher a stupid b***h
He boasted that he is the captain of the youth football (Soccer) team in the village where he lives, he often tease me because i like a read a loot, i like a read a loot about space, he often tease me because of my weight But generally good for me, i said that i'm unlike him have brain cells that i like to use, my buddy feel offended and said that he want duel with me, in that he challenges me to a duel in ... chess. I told him, "you really want get betting do you, and he said yes, but the no him would get screwed in chess" it's turned that he beat me not mw him
I could not understand how I could lose with some school athletes dumbass, Americans would call such person probably a Jocks, from i heard, it later turned that me roommate had over 150 IQ with was much more than my own even trough my own IQ is also high, and he was member of youth chapter of some organization that affiliate people with High IQ the only his school problems was languages because he had Dyslexia/Dysgraphia/Dysortographia like me + He call his teacher using fool languages
He asked me if I thought he was a moron, I said truthfully that yes, and this one is telling me further, you thought that if I love sports, I am a moron? I told him that I thought so, and that you thought wrong!
But later we befriend more, we often play tickle fight he was younger but more agile and athletic, but he was more ticklish than me, he once grab me in place where he should not! and even dared to say that it's small i said that he should stop, he said he sorry but it repeat that several times, so make a bit mad, so tickled him in the same way, and once he tensed up, and make him wet He apologized but later we did this intentionally
Once we was caught be other friend, who was an aspie, but rather geek than nerd type and call us pedały = fags, but my friend told him that we're homosexual not fags and he would beat crap of his skinny ass if he call us pedały = fags again, he later said that he dreamed to be able to have fun with his teammates, but he was he is not sure if they would be able to understand that he does not like girls and he prefers other boys

^^ That sound like a fairly positive experience and fairly educational one too (not taking for granted who will beat who at chess). I have somewhat fond memories of my one time going away to camp with the Red Cross and the boy in the sleeping bag next to me politely asking if he may count my mosquito bites.

If my mom knew I am sexually active she would probably be so happy she would jump. She is still worried I am asexual and she often tells me that my male friend would be good in bed and that I should give him chance or that a guy in a shop clearly wanted to ask me out. When I was 13 she told me that if i want to have sex I should go to her for condoms and that she won't be making any problem out of it.
Surprisingly enough it makes me not want to tell her anything about my sex life. I think she is just too nosy. Not her business.

If someone knows I'm sexually active, know again.

From what I remembered he was a member of the Polish section of Mensa, at the beginning I thought it was some kind of masonic lodge: D

He told me that he did not boast about it to his friends from the football team not to go out on some nerd, he does not tell them that he is homosexual because in Poland it is extremely badly seen, thanks to him I realized that I am also homosexual, my colleague he did not have autism but he had ADHD, but he got caught by another of our mutual acquaintances who was Aspi, but he boasted that he had sex with almost every girl in his class, despite Asperger.

By the way, I wonder how it happens that some autistic people manage to have an intimate life that even the NT would be envious of.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/inde ... 752AASruOU

Was you first intimate experience?
Sound romantic