First time mother debating formal assessment

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I've spent 33 years feeling as though i don't quite belong. It was a pretty big issue from secondary school until a couple of years ago. I struggled with my education despite being considered fairly smart. The lessening of structure from A Levels onwards led to poor grades and eventually me dropping out of a university place I felt I shoudn't have been offered. I've since managed to hold down a job with the same company for over 12 years, regularly being promoted and the support i received when dealing with new positions has led to me feeling like I was just a late developer.

18 months ago I had a bit of a breakdown and took a couple of months off work. I was put on anti depressants that resulted in a manic episode and it was honestly one of the best thing that has ever happened to me. It allowed me to really lower my inhibitions and stop questioning my every action to a point I met my now husband and have never been happier to be able to completely be myself in company.

In January i gave birth to our daughter. During pregnancy I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and that became a pretty intense focus for the few months until her birth. I'm breastfeeding so that became my new 'obsession' for the first few weeks. Now things have settled down though,I find myself becoming dangerously reflective of my life, in particular in relation to whether I may fall on the spectrum as that would seem to explain so many of the difficulties I've had (at its worst leading to self injury and suicidal ideation). I have been a bit defensive of the support offered me relating to my mental health because I feel I will only be seen as somebody struggling with depression/anxiety. Whilst I have struggled with both, I don't feel I am a depressive person and I believe my anxiety may have an underlying cause that I'd like to explore for my daughter's sake. I really don't want her to sit at 33 years old and feel like she wasted as much of her life as I have should she be anything like me.

Are there any diagnosed mothers here who could offer me any advice? Does it impact on your ability to juggle working with parenting? Do you feel it would be worth being assessed in order to manage it all if it turns out I am on the spectrum? I definitely need to address the intrusive thoughts relating to all this (too much downtime while baby sleeps to read/think) but I'm worried a GP visit would result in the same cycle of being offered ADs and CBT when I'd really like something more.

Perhaps you've just got a touch of post-natal depression, combined with too much time on your hands. If I were you, I'd wait until you're back in work for a few months, and then see how you feel about getting assessed. If you're autistic, the autism isn't going to go anywhere in the meantime.
Also, being diagnosed autistic is something that could be used against you in court if your partner were ever trying to get custody of the child, for example, or if the government got involved in your family for any reason. Not necessarily a reason not to get assessed if you think it will be helpful to you, but something to bear in mind.

Thanks for your reply. You're probably right - possibly a touch of PND making me anxious about how I'll cope managing it all once I'm back at work. For once I have a reason to make sure I'm prepared and don't only reach out for help when it's got to a crisis point of depression. I'll speak to my health visitor and look at some talking therapy to help me get my coping strategies in place without overloading myself with 'what if's and 'maybe's.